Pain Pump Surgery April 11th & Clavicle May 16th

 So far my left leg looks completely well.. no infection, nothing to indicate the places are not healing... they still are tender but the top skin is taking a while to cover over completely.

So they have cleared me for both surgeries, the pain pump n April 11th and 6 weeks later the clavicle repair on May 16th.

I will be THRILLED TO HOPEFULLY GET OVER ALL OF THIS AND HAVE SOME KIND OF LIFE!!

I DO HAVE SEVERE OSTEOARTHRITIS IN THE BASA PART OF MY LEFT THUMB, SO BAD THE OSTEOPHYTES AND ALL OF THE ARTHRITIS SHOWS CLEARLY ON AN X-RAY... SO IT COULD BE IF WE CAN'T CONTROL THE SEVERE PAIN AND SWELLING WITH CORTICOSTEROID INJECTIONS, I MAY FACE BASAL THUMB SURGERY DOWN THE ROAD!

Nightmare At Pain Doctor's Office!

 For those who go to "Pain" Clinics" or Pain Doctors, the government REALLY SCREWED "real chronic pain patients". I went into Wednesday a week ago, so I could get more oral meds tillI a well enough from the infections to have the pain pump surgery to replace it. Well, my doctor was NOT there. He was out of the office for 2 WEEKS is what the nurse told me. So, this "woman" who I did not know; I had never seen in the office at all (and this is after the nurse even acted strange). She quickly said her name which I didn't even get and never told me exactly "what she was". Now this woman i holding my file, with all the info. plus what update I had just told the nurse.She would not allow me to speak, she spoke "over me", and asked why I needed the oral pain meds. I explained Dr. C. knows all about & she said well, yeah I see here som situation going on and I want to now why you take "diazepam"? I looked at hr & said I've been on it for at least 25 years due to trauma in my life, more recent trauma, a husband who left me & then killed himself FEW MONTHS LATER BUT it has always been to also help with the severity of my chronicI said I was l told to come into the office to get my new script for pain meds, for a quick update. Not to be interrogated about meds the doctor already knows I take. pain. Then she asks if I had ever had a "sleep study"???? So, she walked out for a moment came in, mumbled FEW WORDS, AND told ME THE SCRIPT HAD BEEN SENT THROUGH FOR 1 MONTHS WORTH. So I l was by this woman who barely told me who she wast teated me like some street drug addict, SO I WAS PEEVED FOR SURE! I went by my pharmacy about an hour later THEY HD NO SCRIPT, so they said sometimes it takes a few hour (BULL MY DR HERE CAN SEND ONE OVER , I CAN WALK OUT OF THE OFFICE GO TO THE PHARMACY AND THEY HAVE IT & SOMETIMES ALREADY FILLED! So I call & get some idiot who could barely English & he calls some where over to the nurse clinic & the give him som bull that DR..C. has t okay it which he already had it was in the womans' hand when I was there! So, I hung up and called about noon the next day (I went n Wednesday) & I get told the doctor has to send it himself & he will from "wherever he is at".??? NO script, same thing Friday, Monday the same, then TUESDAY AFTER BEING OUT OF MEDS INCE THE THURSDAY BEFORE..I get a call from the nurse at the clinic my med were sent in. I figured it out that ignorant(found out later she was an NP, she called this "Lucid Lane" Place & they called m e to set up an appt over the internet to go over my meds so nothing is wrong!!!!????? Then when the witch (NP) found out I made an appt she had the medication sent in by another doctor the helps mine when he is gone !!! This was none of her business, BUT I KNOW WY THE GOVERNMENT JUST PUT NEW LWS OUT AND MADE IT EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS ON REAL PAIN PATIENTS AND REA; GOOD PAIN DOCTORS, SO THEY HAVE TO JUMP THROUGH HOOPS TO EVEN GET THEIR MEDS!!! So I went ahead with this "interview assessment to shit her up. The woman that did this was awesome. About 5 minutes after talking with me she said you really i not need to be put through this BUT due to "new" rules & I said let me guess the government mess that just happened the 1st of January! Her name is Michelle & she could not "say" it n those words BUT she basically said what I did Doctors who help give chronic pain meds are COVERING THIER "BUTTS" Due to government crap. She said just in case the "authorities" probably DEA comes in & checks files that info is in yours is all is well. RIGHT Now IF I WERE WELL, I WOULD BUY A TICKET TO D.C. & GO TO CONGRESS & GIVE EVERYONE I COULD FIND A PIECE OF MY MIND!!! WE HAVE GOT TO GET TOGETHER & FIGHT THIS!!! IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING, WE ARE GOING TO SEE IT GET WORSE, THEN WHAT???

A New Writer That has Truly Spoken almost as if they were speaking about my life, heart and soul...Ravenwolf

 I recently found a few partial writing from a writer called "Ravenwolf" (not to be confused with "Silver Ravenwolf")...

Truly from the 1st few sentences in the very 1st one I read I was in the realms of my own feelings, like my own poetry & prose... as if they knew my life's story.... Speaking to me like the Full Moon, the Oceans ebb & flow, the highest mountain and silver waterfalls from them... 

Not only did it give me so many inner feelings, from the depths of my soul, but gave me a voice again, giving me my own words that I had wrote for so many years...

I will Share this link.. and I am NOT selling this... I just felt I wanted to share what has touched my soul so much...

Hi, I know you think you know me, but the truth is, you know the old version of me.

The broken, sad and weaker me is the person you you’re familiar with..

But that’s not who I am anymore.

I couldn’t stay in that place and ever be happy, so I made a choice.

I chose to pick up my broken pieces, figure out who I was and slowly put back together a better, wiser and stronger me.

So, yes, I’m a vastly changed person.

Where I was and who I used to be doesn’t define who I’ve become nor where I am going.

Sure, there are little cracks where the jagged pieces of my soul fit together, but that’s how the light gets in.

The person you thought you knew isn’t me anymore.

In the place of a weaker, hurting person stands a stronger and bolder me.

I won’t let people treat me poorly any longer and I will never settle for anything less than the best again.

This is my life and I’m standing up and taking back my pride, dignity and self respect.

And for those who can’t accept the new and improved me?

Well, let’s shake hands and part as friends, because the people I want in my life are the ones who will be supportive and in my corner, no matter what goes down.

I’m headed in a new direction and I’m learning how to finally fly.

It’s taken me a long time to get here and there’s been a lot of failure, disappointment and struggle along the way.

But I’m still standing and now, I’m growing.

No matter what life throws at me, I refuse to give up, stand aside or be disregarded.

I did that for too long and let myself be taken advantage of by too many people.

That ends here.

Because I learned something as I climbed out of rock bottom:

I’m worthy of love, I’m always going to be good enough and I’ll never have to remind the right people of that.

So, as I stretch out my arms and welcome a new day,

I can feel the sun shining on my face and the light in my heart glowing.

It’s a new chapter, a new me and there’s nothing I can’t do.

For all those that doubt me, I’ll only say one thing:

Just watch me.

Life is about to get really, really good.

And I can’t wait.

I’ve waited all my life for these days, and I know that I deserve every bit of this happiness.

|ravenwolf

For exclusive content, follow me on TikTok @theravenwolf

https://houseofravenwolf.com/.../copy-of-ravenwolfs...

All rea

SO totally thrilled with my Oldest Grandson & his Amazing job he did on his FFA Project!

 I have to post this! I was so totally amazed at my Grandson who is 17 & is just an awesome young man in every way!This was his FFA Project they will be showing for "auction" which he already has a couple of buyers before he has even shown it for the upcoming auction!! He placed 3rd BUT even his Leader over the FFA said he was really he that should have placed higher! Here are some pics of the deer blind he made...

He had some help from his Dad which was allowed but James did most of the work.... James is also parliamentarian of is FFA group.

Fleetwood Mac - Silver Springs (Official Live Video) [HD]

DEA Suspends Doctors License & Double Suicide by Pain Patient and Wife due to lack of finding the Patients Medications

 https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2022/11/9/dea-suspension-of-doctors-license-leads-to-suicides

A chronic pain patient and his wife died by suicide after their doctor's license to prescribe opioids was suspended by the DEA. Many other patients are scrambling to find new doctors before their pain medication runs out.

Keith Urban Tribute to Christine McVie - Gold Coast Convention Centre Qu...

NPSB (National Patient Safety Board) Bill for Pain Patients & Safety

Please take time to write your Representatives it only takes a couple of minutes from the link!

 https://npsb.org/housebill/

https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/house-bill/9377/all-actions?r=1&overview=closed&s=1#tabs

I'll Be Your Santa Tonight Keith Urban New Xmas song!!!!!

How do you Hide the Scars, External and Internal, fight the fears of Showing What Life, Love & Illness has done to you

 It's been a while since I've been able to think about what I needed to say here. After my last what I thought was the Love of my life, walked out and the "checked out" leaving me here to wonder why; to pick up the pieces of my own broken heart, soul, and try to face the fear of even leaving my house to allow anyone to see "me" like this.

I've been "broken" before.... by illness, by others walking out without reason, for trying to survive. So many call me "brave", a survivor. Yet, they don't see the scars, on my body, but worse those on my heart, soul and mind. These days the fear fueled by not only my own illnesses that more than once damned near killed me, but then COVID-19 ONLY FUELED that reasoning for hiding, for staying at home, for hiding behind the mask literally. I am much to scared and scarred to allow anyone in again.

 I am too frightened of what someone may do if they see what the heck I truly look like now. So many surgeries, scars from the past and now even present.  But, moreover the internal pain, fear, and scars that are deep seeded in my mind. What I SEE when I gaze into the mirror, what shadow of a slight person looks back at me. Just when one thing seems to get better, suddenly something else appears. All too often doctors can't explain what I have. They can't give me a reason or rhyme for what suddenly appears out of the black ink darkness of chronic illnesses. They don't know, often WE as patients know more about why, what, and how we find ourselves ill with something else 

So much of me can be explained by music, by lyrics, my about the only thing that motivates me anymore.  I know I am NOT alone. So MANY of us from all over the USA and the world suffer, are driven to so many doctors, medications and yet we find no answers. Only more questions. 

As Keith Urban's Lyrics, "What if I Fall, What if I Cry, And if I get scared, and WHO is my "Fighter"... nowadays my only "Fighter" is myself.