Grieving the Loss of a Loved One BEFORE they are no longer gone but you are a caretaker due to a chronic terminal illness...

I've been going through a really "odd" (pr what I felt was odd) kind of issue since Mom passed away in June. I kept telling others that I almost feel as if I am "still in shock" rather than in the "grieving process" and all these weeks and weeks, I kept "waiting" for those signs to appear, and they have in some ways...

yet I have felt angry and almost ashamed of myself, for "not showing" grief in losing Mom... daily now for weeks, I keep wanting to "call her" or run over to tell her something, and even though I am there almost everyday doing the remodeling, this feels different... then of course I realize no longer can I "talk with her here", call to see if she is okay, and usually have my own set of "life's issues" that I could talk to her about... 

well after much thought about it all, right now I am dealing with a great deal of almost feeling like "her life was dropped in my lap" kind of thing, but, I looked it up, and as I've mentioned, I had been "grieving" the loss of my Mom for months and months way before she was "bedridden"... 

and didn't know me, nor even where she was or who she was... I had that "grief" daily, from moment to moment, it was every changing, depending on what was going on at that time, or on that day... thus although it still sounds horrid, when she took that last breath, I felt at that moment "relief" for HER... no more suffering, hurting, crying, diapers, and lying in bed, she was finally "home" with Dad, and her family.... 

so here is one article I just read and decided I would post it...for weeks now I have felt like I am just "insane" yet what I've been through and am going through is all a part of the process... 


https://www.agingcare.com/Articles/grieving-before-death-terminally-ill-116037.htm

FINALLY after MANY YEARS THEY SAY THE WEATHER EFFECTS PAIN, JOINTS, MUSCLES, BONES AND MORE.... CHRONIC PAIN!

This is NO NEW NEWS to me - I've told doctors since I was about 17 years old, with the start of migraines THE WEATHER HAD LOTS TO DO WITH THEM, and as the years went by and I developed so many issues with Lupus, RA, joints needing surgeries and anything joint, bone related, the weather DOES PLAY A PART in the pain, swelling and inflammation.

 FINALLY THEY ADMIT WEATHER DOES EFFECT JOINT, MUSCLE, BONE, AND OTHER TYPES OF CHRONIC PAIN!

http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37301579

Knowing After all these years, that I should have been born a few years later, and I know I would be my dream job...

It has taken me 56 years, well guess a bit less than that since as in infant I would not have known this - :) to FINALLY KNOW why I WAS put on this Earth, and what my "calling" was - that I missed! It just "hit" me yesterday while in the quiet over at house #2 I painted.... first of all, I was born about 10 years or so too early. Had I been born in probably the 70's or so, then our knowledge about technology, computers, the advanced sciences we have now, from medicine, to phones, and you name it, I was a "bit early" on the scene to have those things readily available to me, unlike if I was about 30 years old or so right now. Or even out of High School a few years and then headed to college.

 I should have been AN FBI part of a team that does the "profiling" for our worst criminals, serial rapists, people that in their minds (and you must "get into their minds) to be able to capture why, where, how, when, and so forth they do what they do... their is always or usually a methodology to their "madness"... whether it be just pure evil, or having been abused, causing irreprible damage to their psyche, or they have multiple personality disorders, psychopaths, and so many other things that they either may have been born with, taught, brainwashed, or a numerous specific reasons why some do as they do harm to others and themselves.

 I know that may sound ridiculous, but I of course knew I would always be a writer, yet my true "profession" had life been a bit different, and I had been young enough for the technology that is now available to be here so I could learn about all of these, I surely would love to be one of these types of "profilers" that could help protect innocent victims from the harming of such horrific others. I am too "old" now, and with all of my own personal health issues, I would even if trained, not be eligible to serve at the FBI or such...BUT, I DO KNOW that LIFE gives you WHAT you NEED.. we are born for certain reasons, at certain times... and there is a reason I was born in 1960 - and at that time they did not even know much about "DNA" and the like.... 


http://www.apa.org/monitor/julaug04/criminal.aspx


http://www.forensicscolleges.com/blog/htb/how-to-become-criminal-profiler

 

2016 Flu Vaccine and the New Pneumonia Vaccine - Lupus and those with other Chronic Illnesses..,

http://www.lupus.org/answers/entry/are-flu-and-pneumonia-vaccines-safe-if-I-have-lupus

 

 

 

I know some of us question if we SHOULD or SHOULD NOT get these vaccines....I get mine, and I also got my new Pneumonia vaccine, because it provides coverage for hopefully 23 types or pneumonia - the 1st day after I had them both (in the same arm due to my right shoulder being completely replaced, so my muscles are not very big on that arm) my arm itched and felt like it was burning. BUT, the next day, all of that stopped, and my arm is sore, but it does many of us that way. 

 

My pharmacist as well as my Rheumatologist recommended I get BOTH! Although we with chronic illnesses may not get "as much protection" as those without chronic illnesses, we still get SOME... since I have had "double pneumonia" at least 2 times in the past year or so, and then twice before, I decided I had better at least try and give myself a bit more immunity if possible.

National Network of #Depression Centers presents the #DefeatDepressionDash 5K "Virtual" Run/Walk to support #MentalHealth awareness

The National Network of #Depression Centers presents the #DefeatDepressionDash 5K Run/Walk to support #MentalHealth awareness. Join us to support mental health fitness and help #DefeatDepression. Learn more about the event here:

http://curec.lk/2citSDa 

Although WE have come SO FAR in the understanding f "Depression" and how it is not some type of issue that means we are for the most part NOT CRAZY, but is a chemical imbalance within the body, just like Diabetes, and many other illnesses, and chronic illnesses. YET, There is still such a STIGMA for some when it comes to talking with family, with counselors, in getting to groups that can help, going to get the proper medications, and not feeling as if you are nuts. 

I know I "hid" much of my own depression from my Father when I was in my very early 20's. He was born in 1923, and had watched his Mom (she was probably ill with cancer at the time or something terminal) on probably Morphine, which is all they had for pain control back then, and also did not know about it being possibly harmful as far as addiction... act "crazy" like "seeing things", or "talking about things that did not make sense and so on. Thus he even had her put in the Terrell State Mental Home I guess to "take the cravings" from her...what he was too young and at that time did not comprehend, she needed that medication to keep her out of severe pain.

My Dad NEVER got over the ordeal. He usually almost REFUSED TO SEE A DOCTOR, did NOT want or think he needed things like Blood Pressure Medication, and even tried to say that is was NOT DIABETIC, would not stay on the diet at all, and just about refused the tablets he needed. Thus he went into a Diabetic Shock several times and had to be taken to the ER... but when you look back at how different times were then, I guess it made sense.

No matter how much I tried to explain, he just had his mindset on NOT needing medications. I so wished we could have gotten through to him, but it was what it was... and he lived about 83 years... So, he always said he had lived and done all he wanted to do in life. 

Hashtags to use:

#DefeatDepressionDash, #MentalHealth, #Depression, #DepressionHurts

Sponsored and Brought to You by Cure Click!

Happy Labor Day - Journey's and How Our Lives Change Within Moments - Coping with Grief, Chronic Pain, Lupus, RA, Sjogren's and taking one step at a time....

I’ve felt so many different emotion since June 9th, when my Mom passed away. As I told my daughter Amanda on Friday evening over the phone, I think the entire ordeal is just now beginning to set in as reality. I catch myself wanting to call Mom to tell her something or ask her something… often times a week. Then it dawns on me, I cannot do that via telephone anymore…. I’ve put off really doing ANYTHING for just myself. I’ve been so busy taking take of all that needs to be done, from paperwork, to painting and working on the house there, that I have NOT had anything I really wanted, needed - other than the weather get nice enough and for me to be well enough to feel like going to Winstar in OK for a night. As soon as I can find a Sunday and Monday, here, there and between there is going to be nice weather I plan on going and it will be a “delayed celebration” of what would have been Mom’s 81st birthday on August 28th.

 But, it came to me a week ago, if I don’t find some other way to sit at my computer to “write” I will never get it done. Right now due to my neck needing surgery, and possibly my lower back, I cannot sit here for very long at a time…. plus when I have the surgeries, I won’t be able to sit like this, due to the neck brace for 6 weeks and so on….


SO, I decided I CAN sit on the sofa, with my legs up, where my ankle also does not swell so badly, and THERE in the evening after dinner when these two hellions (Bub’s and Peanut” calm down - one on each side of me, would be a perfect time for me to get some writing done, more on my blog, be able to get possibly back into my advocacy work, but MAINLY WRITE! I desperately NEED to finish my 3rd book, and after what happened to Mom from this past January till June 9th, NOW I totally understand “why” my writing was “delayed”…. it is clear as day, that I MUST include all of what Mom went through along with myself, as a caretaker that needs a caretaker…. and so much that no one even knows happened…the details of each and every day being there with her those six months, even sometimes changing from hour to hour…. I witnessed such an unbelievable change in her emotionally, physically and mentally… and that is why my writing was put on hold…. I have much more to add to that journey, for myself, for her and for my kids… and Grandchildren later and those to come… SO I broke down and ordered an Apply Air Laptop. I didn’t get the “biggest” or most expensive, because some of it I probably may never use. But, the screen is large enough, and I already love the way the keyboard is laid out and back lit….

I just received it late yesterday via Fed Ex, so I really have not had much time to “learn” about it…. I felt much “guilt” and hesitated at first before I bought it, BUT, I recall what my Mom said to me, several times, but moreover just before she began to really show the signs of getting so bad, so quickly, she made me “promise” I WOULD complete this 3rd book, and have it published. MOM was and will always be my “Greatest Fan”…. So, I want to fulfill that promise to myself and to her…

thus then I knew the laptop made perfect sense…besides, as much as I LOVE MY PRIUS! And planned on leasing another the first part of 2017, if I forgo that, and drive Mom’s Elantra, which only has 10,000 miles on it, and just needs a battery and tires (from lack of her driving it much) then I could do away with a lease payment and higher insurance… I have not made that decision yet, because that Prius was the BEST thing I’ve ever had in my life, as far as “items”…. but I have time to decide… so by then things will be more centered, and I will be able to make that decision. So, here are a couple of photo’s of my Brand New Apple Air Laptop!

HAPPY LABOR DAY!

Why Do We Celebrate Labor Day and How It Began! 

For a lot of people, Labor Day means two things: a day off and the end of summer. But why is it called Labor Day? Labor Day is a day set aside to pay tribute to working men and women. It has been celebrated as a national holiday in the United States and Canada since 1894.

­­
Labor unions themselves celebrated the first labor days in the United States, although there's some speculation as to exactly who came up with the idea. Most historians credit Peter McGuire, general secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners and a cofounder of the American Federation of Labor, with the original idea of a day for workers to show their solidarity. Others credit Matthew Maguire, later the secretary of Local 344 of the International Association of Machinists in Paterson, N.J.

The first Labor Day parade occurred Sept. 5, 1882, in New York City. The workers' unions chose the first Monday in September because it was halfway between Independence Day and Thanksgiving. The idea spread across the country, and some states designated Labor Day as a holiday before the federal holiday was created.
President Grover Cleveland signed a law designating the first Monday in September as Labor Day nationwide. This is interesting because Cleveland was not a labor union supporter. In fact, he was trying to repair some political damage that he suffered earlier that year when he sent federal troops to put down a strike by the American Railway Union at the Pullman Co. in Chicago, IL. That action resulted in the deaths of 34 workers.


In European countries, China and other parts of the world, May Day, the first day in May, is a holiday to celebrate workers and labor unions. Before it became an international workers holiday, May Day was a celebration of spring and the promise of summer. Membership in labor unions in the United States reached an all-time high in the 1950s when about 40 percent of the work force belonged to unions. Today, union membership is about 14 percent of the working population. Labor Day now carries less significance as a celebration of working people and more as the end of summer. Schools, government offices and businesses are closed on Labor Day so people can get in one last trip to the beach or have one last cookout before the weather starts to turn colder.

 Links Below for More Information On the History of Labor Day

• U.S. Department of Labor: The History of Labor Day
•  (from the Dept of Labor Website)
•  
•  
• An Eclectic List of Events in U.S. Labor History

 

 

 

ANYONE LOCALLY - (Ellis County TEXAS) Who maybe able to assist me with some painting and carpentry work!

I "realize" this is not a "usual post" for here, but I felt as many of us that are here from Ennis, may be able to point me, or point someone to me to help me out with these things. Mom passed away in June as many of you know from an extremely aggressive type of dementia. She was "okay" in January, and by May, was in bed, in diapers, and had no clue who I, nor herself was, or even could get out of bed. So, here is my "post" - anyone who maybe able to help out, please let them know to contact me - Thanks so much Pam Ravishing Rhiannon Steele -

I've just POSTED in a couple of Ennis TX and Ellis County TX posts about needing to hire someone to come in & help me finish the inside painting of the house I am working on. My Rheumatoid Arthritis/Lupus are keeping me from doing this myself, as I wanted to.I can barely hold a paint brush right now. by the way, the house is barely 1,000 sq. ft. & is only 2 bedroom, one bath. I've picked out all of the paints (or most of them and have began how I want it to look.)

 I am looking for someone to put siding on the one car garage, put up some new handrails on the front porch (about 4 or 5 steps) and then put one on the back porch (about 2 or 3 steps) down. I am furnishing ALL of the materials. I will want a new garage door put on the garage also. 

Those are my "MAIN" things If you know of anyone is my area, who can paint & do a bit of carpenter work, is reliable, please tell them to message me here, OR send me an email to redstangblonde@yahoo.com. I will keep an eye on that email address for anyone, who may help. I thought I would finish the painting myself, but there is just no way, with my health issues, I can continue to do some of it, but I need help. Thanks so much! 

There are some trees and limbs that need to go and an old piece of bus on my back lot, that is FULL OF BEES! They have been here all of the early Spring and Summer, and I've not been able to see the hive, but it must be huge! So, BEES and BUS can go, if anyone wants to haul it off for the scrap metal to sell. 

MIGRAINES - Clinical Trials and My Own Story...

Have #migraine headaches? Research studies enrolling now. No-cost study medication. Click here to see if you qualify. http://curec.lk/23HAhdL







 I've not had the time to tell about Migraines and my pesonal atory, but they are one of the MAIN REASONS that the Disability Judge granted me my full disability. They literally took over my life from the time I was 17 years old... and although for some reason they somewhat got "better", then with the Lupus, RA, and so forth I have "worse" headaches and they are different, but I feel for ANYONE suffering from these. I had to either resign, or was basically fired from at least 5 jobs over the years due to Migraines.

WEGO HEALTH ACTIVIST AWARDS, My Nomination, and much more - check it out!

https://awards.wegohealth.com/nominees/1998

 

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT ALL OF THE CATEGORIES FOR WEGO HEALTH'S ANNUAL HEALTH ACTIVIST AWARDS AND GET YOUR NOMINATIONS IN NOW!

I have not really asked you to "nominate" me for any awards for WEGO Annuals Awards... and I am nominated for the "Best in Show Blogs" so here is my page and you will be able to "give me a thumbs Up" and then we have judges that also judge the pages people, their works and so forth.

 I apologize for not really "being here" as much as I would like. After being ill, then if I don't have enough to do, I need my oil changed in my car, the Elatra HAS to have a new battery, I till am way behind on the painting, I have tree limbs, and a rotten huge tree in my backyard here that needs to be taken care of, I have a doctors appt tomorrow, I had to send in my Dad's "Death Certificate"(that I had to dig to find) to the City Courts, They sent him a "jury summons" and he has been gone since 2005! 

 
The bank REALLY PISSED ME OFF with a letter I got Saturday, that I need to really get on their butts about, my car needs washing badly... I am already having to put out fire any killer on mounds, I really wanted to find I NEW EYE Doctor since mine seems to not be able to get his act together in his office... I need to go to my Rheumy, I need to make a trip to my pain doctor (both in Dallas).....uuuummmm and the list just goes on and on and on and....... to infinity!

Tough Moments.... for me illness, I think Imay have had the West Nile Virus - and get some "grief" seems to be seeping in...

I realize I've not been here and I am so sorry I've not been keeping the blog fresh with new posts as of late. But,  spent a week (started last Sunday early morning) so ill, that I was not sure what was wrong with me. Yet, even though I thought several times of going to the Urgent Care, due to the tremendous amount of antibiotics and corticosteroids my body had endured over the past almost a year, I wanted to try and allow what bit of immune system I have left to try and fight it.... it is taking 6 or more days to begin to feel somewhat better, but from severe headache that lasted for almost 4 days, stiff neck, fever, severe pain in every muscle and joint, feeling like my joints were trying to "lock down at times", severe fatigue worse than I have endured in a long time, not have any strength to even go out to the store, or barely walk across my little home.... my head felt as if "sand" was in it, and when I moved it would sound as if it was "sifting" through my head, very swollen lymph glands in my neck, sore throat a bit, and pain in my rib cage in the back, all symptoms of many things.... but I read last night we have had a HIGH RATE of "positive West Nile Mosquito's" found just in the past couple of weeks...some seemingly close to my home, but they found them in 19 different areas of town, so one bite from anywhere around town by one could have kicked it off...


I cannot "be sure" that is what it was, BUT after reading that, then the symptoms, and knowing that my immune system is so "not there" I feel like that probably what was making me so ill this past 6 plus days... I am "better" today, but my energy is slim to none, and "mentally" I am "not wanting" to do anything... which is NOT like me...

So, I am not sure if some of the "grief" of losing my Mom in June is beginning to truly "hit" me... or if it is a mixture of several things, including being ill...


BUT, hang in here with me... I am HERE AND WILL SOON BE BACK POSTING INTERESTING articles, facts, and blogging away again....


Have a good weekend,  Rhia


Here are some articles and Symptoms of West Nile Virus:

http://www.activebeat.co/your-health/10-signs-you-may-have-west-nile-virus/?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=AB_GGL_US_DESK&cus_widget=&utm_content=search_fixed&utm_term=west%20nile%20virus

https://medlineplus.gov/westnilevirus.html

THIS ARTICLE IS ABOUT THE FINDINGS IN ENNIS OF THE WEST NILE POSITIVE MOSQUITO'S

http://www.ennisdailynews.com/news/archive-1019/