"Through my heart's work of writing, I share with you my complex journey a top the mountain, sliding down, crawling up, & living through the realms of Autoimmune Arthritic Illnesses. Taming "The Wolf" Thru each Day... One Step at a Time … Together We Are Learning to Survive. Please follow along, to New Beginnings - looking Thru the Window Pane of Pain in life where we shall find our journey leading us to - New Perspectives
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Friday, June 10, 2016
My Mom has Passed Away - and some information about that..,
I am sharing this with each of you because I feel my daughter, Amanda is
expressing ALL of our feelings emotions, and thoughts at this very,
very difficult time in our lives. Life is so very fleeting, and I
witnessed that within all scopes this past few months. Mom and I got to
go to Winstar one last time in January. I knew about 3 weeks later, that
would be our last ride while she slept and I drove to the Casino. :) She "cut up" her player card one day while I was there, and
I kind of "scolded" her a bit, and then realized she more than anyone
knew we would never make that trip together again, not in this world.
Mom had a very peaceful passing at 10:20AM this morning.
I sat beside her, and in my heart of hearts, I knew it was "time". I sat there, and sang 4 hymns, that she loved to hear my Dad sing.... and everyone loved Dad to sing in church, at weddings, and funerals. When I finished what pieces I could recall of "Pearly White City", she took another breath, and that was it.... Her hand in mine, just us two quietly, and me in "tune" as well as could be expected. That was my "time" to fall apart.... and I did, for a while I sat there holding her hand.... and then so happened the Hospice Nurse stopped by, honestly at the right time.
Most of everything is arranged, Mom was a very simple person in life, she never wanted a "fuss" over much, so I knew her wishes were "simple" as far as after that. So, as I await for Amanda Batson- Matheny and her family to come from the Corpus Christi area, and to hear from Jason Harber - who I feel right now needs everyone to surround him with their love and support... He and "Granny Steele" had and will have a special bond always, and I know this is an extremely difficult thing for him to deal with.... yet all of us handle this things in our ways unique ways... so He will do the same.... We will have visitation and a Rosary on Sunday, from 4 to 6 and receive family and friends then. The funeral will be held at Keever's Chapel on Monday morning at 10AM with the Catholic Father residing over the service. There will be information on Keever's Website tomorrow about everything and the details. I will post that when I have a URL.
I want to thank each and every one of you that have "held up me" through this... you are such a wonderful group of friends.... I also want to commend Physician's Choice Home Health here from the Ennis area, as well as First Choice Hospice, who took over last Thursday, and everyone were wonderful through all of this.... Words, I guess now, elude me, again but to say I appreciate and my family appreciates everything and all of the thoughts and prayers.....
From my daughter:
I would like everyone to please keep my family in your prayers, my grandmother passed away this morning. It is never easy to loose a loved one & this time is really tough!Granny was mine & my brothers last grandparent & my mom is her only child! She was the kids only great grandparent that they had left and it is not easy to explain to them that she is gone! ( I know the kids will always remember all the goodies she baked for them when they would go visit her!) I know she is in a better place now and her & papaw are back together again, so that helps ease the pain a little! We love you & will always miss you Granny
Mom's Obituary:
http://www.jekeevermortuary.com/home/index.cfm/obituaries/view/fh_id/13137/id/3742850
I sat beside her, and in my heart of hearts, I knew it was "time". I sat there, and sang 4 hymns, that she loved to hear my Dad sing.... and everyone loved Dad to sing in church, at weddings, and funerals. When I finished what pieces I could recall of "Pearly White City", she took another breath, and that was it.... Her hand in mine, just us two quietly, and me in "tune" as well as could be expected. That was my "time" to fall apart.... and I did, for a while I sat there holding her hand.... and then so happened the Hospice Nurse stopped by, honestly at the right time.
Most of everything is arranged, Mom was a very simple person in life, she never wanted a "fuss" over much, so I knew her wishes were "simple" as far as after that. So, as I await for Amanda Batson- Matheny and her family to come from the Corpus Christi area, and to hear from Jason Harber - who I feel right now needs everyone to surround him with their love and support... He and "Granny Steele" had and will have a special bond always, and I know this is an extremely difficult thing for him to deal with.... yet all of us handle this things in our ways unique ways... so He will do the same.... We will have visitation and a Rosary on Sunday, from 4 to 6 and receive family and friends then. The funeral will be held at Keever's Chapel on Monday morning at 10AM with the Catholic Father residing over the service. There will be information on Keever's Website tomorrow about everything and the details. I will post that when I have a URL.
I want to thank each and every one of you that have "held up me" through this... you are such a wonderful group of friends.... I also want to commend Physician's Choice Home Health here from the Ennis area, as well as First Choice Hospice, who took over last Thursday, and everyone were wonderful through all of this.... Words, I guess now, elude me, again but to say I appreciate and my family appreciates everything and all of the thoughts and prayers.....
From my daughter:
I would like everyone to please keep my family in your prayers, my grandmother passed away this morning. It is never easy to loose a loved one & this time is really tough!Granny was mine & my brothers last grandparent & my mom is her only child! She was the kids only great grandparent that they had left and it is not easy to explain to them that she is gone! ( I know the kids will always remember all the goodies she baked for them when they would go visit her!) I know she is in a better place now and her & papaw are back together again, so that helps ease the pain a little! We love you & will always miss you Granny
Mom's Obituary:
http://www.jekeevermortuary.com/home/index.cfm/obituaries/view/fh_id/13137/id/3742850
Last photo of Mom, Dad and I in 2004. I was here from Seattle at the time, for my daughter's wedding, and I saw her and Dad then. This is the photo of all of us three, Dad passed away March 27th, 2005.....
Thursday, June 9, 2016
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Tuesday, June 7, 2016
Mom and Sharing a bit more.....
I was not sure about posting this here but it seems like the very best spot to let those who want to know about my Mom, Henrietta Steele. Of course this is Pam Steele, from the Class of 78, gosh a long time ago, LOL.... and many knew my Dad Minnis, that worked for Ennis Business Forms for 45 years, started at 16, and walked from Byrd/Rankin back and forth until he finally got his Dad's car (Model A) I think... anyway, back then it was still Ennis Tag. My Mom was having signs of "dementia" for a bit, but she is to be 81 in August, so "memory issues" are a part of that anyway. Yet, just this past January, she was still able to do much of her "daily stuff", cooking, cleaning, still in that little tiny house on Anthony Dr. - where I was raised, etc.
But, within weeks, things went from "okay" to wait a minute something is very wrong. She was not able to "recall" how to put her car in drive, not able to turn on her oven, could not recall how to use the Microwave, and from there she quickly was stricken with what I feel is "Lewey Bodies" Dementia, it moves extremely fast, and her symptoms to be are definitely what I would say "fits".... both my Grandparents Rosie and Joe Svehlak, her parents, had Alzhemeir's/Dementia. So, it is not a huge shock, BUT theirs did not take them down this quickly. Which there could be some "mini TIA's" happening, mini strokes, and we would really not know that for the most part.
Anyway, rather than drag this out, I know some of you have become "friends" on Facebook with me, and I am of course a friend on our Class of 78 Facebook page, so I also enjoy keeping up with everyone plus remembering "Ennis" and things we had and did as kids here, that are now just memories. Anyone, that may know of someone who would have known Dad and Mom, or myself, as I said I felt this maybe this best way to "inform" the few people we know and most of our relatives have already passed away.I am in Ennis and have been back almost 11 years from Seattle. I know a few did not even realize that. I will of course have something posted on the Keever's website once we reach that place, etc. But, mainly I wanted to get the word out, because this happened so quickly, and we don't have much family etc left, so I felt this would help to get the word out to those who wanted to know..... Pam Ravishing Rhiannon Steele
The last pic of the 3 of us in 2004, before my Dad passed away... |
Saturday, June 4, 2016
Moving Forward.... thru the realms of Life, where it takes us, chronic pain, family, and all of the things we "learn" along the way..... Alzheimer's
They
did not give Morphine due to Mom being allergic to Codeine, but
Dilaudid instead and since I know more about that medication, I am glad
they chose it. They also gave me "Ativan" that I can give her, and then a
combination of meds in a "cream" that goes at the pulse points for
nausea, agitation, and to assist in breathing... so far, Mom has been
able to swallow just fine, but they gave me the Atropine because it may
get to where she does have problems swallowing, and that is what is
another part of the "comfort medications". I am able to give her the
Norco just as before, she now has really stopped eating all together,
which as they said was "normal"... and she still gets a dry mouth of
course the medications themselves can do that, so she will drink of all
things it is so funny, Mom never drank any type of "Cola's", or
carbonated drinks... but when this first began, she wanted nothing but
Diet Dr. Pepper, Sprite Zero, and sometimes Diet Pepsi....
so if she does tell me she wants a drink it is usually the Sprite Zero, with some water in it, so it is not so "strong" with the carbonation. I changed her a couple of hours ago, and got her all on clean and dry sheets, and a dry night shirt, and her diapers on, then they gave me some cream I put on the heels where the blisters were... actually the nurse told me unless they are "weeping", to allow them to "dry"... rather than put anything on them... so really the one heel is the only one needing much care...
most of the other places where her skin is so thin, and like me, she has very huge places that appear almost like "blood blisters" but flat, and not blisters, just more broken blood vessels... and the Lupus causes me to have those... I told her that I had to look at those "new" types of diapers, because it has been so long since I used diapers on my 2 kids I was out of practice... LOL... and I told her that I wished we were at the Casino, and that everyone here online, and around town that knows tells me to say hello and tell her they are praying for her... but I try my best NOT to disturb her...
I realize she "hurts" all over... and just even trying to roll her gently from one side to the other to change a sheet, diaper etc.. just plain hurts... so I give her the pain drops, and meds, and then I try to clean her good, but not put her through any more misery of being tossed and turned in the bed... and today she said "ouch" a few times, but I would tell her it was me, and that I was trying to do a "better job" that the aide as far as not making her hurt worse... and by the time I had her dry, cleaned up and gave her meds, she was asleep and peaceful again.... I don't know whether I should be "posting" this stuff or not, BUT it "helps" me honestly... have some way to "say" the feelings and emotions.... and then I am not so "frazzled" - thus the posts help.... my back is so messed up, I could sit in my floor, scream, cry, and gripe due to the intense burning in my hips and down both legs....
I may have to go to my pain doctor if I can next week and have him "up" my pain pump meds until I can get into surgery.... but we shall see.... As I said in another post, I continue to "learn" a great deal from those from Hospice, and I have a high and new found respect for the people that I have been in contact with so far.... they are definitely Angels... what a difficult "job"... that has to be.... Anyway, back to the sofa for me... I have to try and get my back to calm down a bit... I did not sleep well at all last night, and had severe nightmares all night long... so I am drained......
so if she does tell me she wants a drink it is usually the Sprite Zero, with some water in it, so it is not so "strong" with the carbonation. I changed her a couple of hours ago, and got her all on clean and dry sheets, and a dry night shirt, and her diapers on, then they gave me some cream I put on the heels where the blisters were... actually the nurse told me unless they are "weeping", to allow them to "dry"... rather than put anything on them... so really the one heel is the only one needing much care...
most of the other places where her skin is so thin, and like me, she has very huge places that appear almost like "blood blisters" but flat, and not blisters, just more broken blood vessels... and the Lupus causes me to have those... I told her that I had to look at those "new" types of diapers, because it has been so long since I used diapers on my 2 kids I was out of practice... LOL... and I told her that I wished we were at the Casino, and that everyone here online, and around town that knows tells me to say hello and tell her they are praying for her... but I try my best NOT to disturb her...
I realize she "hurts" all over... and just even trying to roll her gently from one side to the other to change a sheet, diaper etc.. just plain hurts... so I give her the pain drops, and meds, and then I try to clean her good, but not put her through any more misery of being tossed and turned in the bed... and today she said "ouch" a few times, but I would tell her it was me, and that I was trying to do a "better job" that the aide as far as not making her hurt worse... and by the time I had her dry, cleaned up and gave her meds, she was asleep and peaceful again.... I don't know whether I should be "posting" this stuff or not, BUT it "helps" me honestly... have some way to "say" the feelings and emotions.... and then I am not so "frazzled" - thus the posts help.... my back is so messed up, I could sit in my floor, scream, cry, and gripe due to the intense burning in my hips and down both legs....
I may have to go to my pain doctor if I can next week and have him "up" my pain pump meds until I can get into surgery.... but we shall see.... As I said in another post, I continue to "learn" a great deal from those from Hospice, and I have a high and new found respect for the people that I have been in contact with so far.... they are definitely Angels... what a difficult "job"... that has to be.... Anyway, back to the sofa for me... I have to try and get my back to calm down a bit... I did not sleep well at all last night, and had severe nightmares all night long... so I am drained......
Friday, June 3, 2016
UPDATES THANK YOU'S AND EXPLANATION AS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS NECK OF THE WOODS...
Congrats to My AWESOME GRAND DAUGHTER!!!!!! Heather I am so INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOU :):) As you move forward in your life may nothing stand in your way, of you following ALL of your Hopes and Dreams! You are truly a Treasure and I could not ask for a better Granddaughter, and those two wonderful brothers of yours ;) Have fun, be safe, and live your life as if you are on top of the mountain! Nana Pam
Just a quick "Hello" and thanks all. Today is such a mixed day mentally, physically and emotionally.. I SO wanted to be at my GRANDDAUGTHER'S GRADUATION TONIGHT NEAR CORPUS, but alas with Mom as she is, and the WEATHER making life hellacious for everyone just about, I had to postpone my trip. Then I hate to whine, but MY BACK, LEGS, BUTT AND HIPS ARE ON FIRE!!!! after I got Mom in from the hospital night before last... dumb move on my part, but stubborn I guess shows me I should ask for help... at the moment I did not have one clue who to ask... but she is resting well. The aide came and got her all cleaned up, and I gave her all of her "comfort" medications, got things done there, and I just had to come to "home" for a bit, for the puppies, for me, and I need to get off my feet at least for a while.... love to all... and I am totally more than exhausted... so if I don't post, or accidentally don't answer the phone etc... I am just totally out of any "brain wave" at the moment....
Before it slips my mind, A HUGE CONRATS!!! to my incredible
granddaughter today!!!! HEATHER YOU ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL YOUNG WOMAN,
AND AS YOU STEP OUT INTO THE WORLD OF COLLEGE AND BEYOND, MAY YOU FIND
ALL OF YOUR DREAMS COMING TRUE... I SO WISHED I WAS ABLE TO COME, BUT OF
COURSE BETWEEN GRANNY STEELE, AND NOW THE WEATHER SO HORRIBLE, I HAVE
TO POSTPONE, BUT MY HEART AND SOUL WILL BE WITH YOU THIS EVENING!!!!
Love to you... and love to your brothers, Logan, and James... and also
to your Mom, Amanda Batson- Matheny and Dad Jimbo!
Thursday, June 2, 2016
Update on Mom the Alzheimer's, getting home from the hospital and of course hurting my back again, and so forth....
You are all such a blessing, and know you are so loved and appreciated... Mom and I had "hell" getting into the house last night. They did not officially discharge her till like 6PM! And I had to get her into the house by myself, so with her having having both back and front, I chose the back, with two lower steps, and using her walker, we very SLOWLY and with a few "choice" words, LOL, made it into the house, and finally to her bed. Hospice DID come by last night around 7PM, I was so shocked, I did not expect a nurse by, plus they had a courier bring some stronger pain medication for her, and now all of her medications will come via courier.... so that will be easier... of course now Hospice has taken over for the doctors etc as far as the dementia, and anything "to do" with that diagnosis, etc for now.... so I am hoping it will "settle" down a little... I really did a huge NO NO though - I injured my LOWER back, which already needs surgery, between all of the walking yesterday back and forth, our hospital is laid out so stupid, and you have to walk what seems like a mile just to get to patient's rooms, but then getting Mom in the house, I did a real number on my lower back and my neck.... I got her settled in and came home very early this morning to do some stuff done here, that I have to do and then I will head back over there, because her Social Worker, Aid, and so on will be coming sometimes after 8AM I gather... so it will be another day of hell I think, just being up on my feet, and getting stuff in order and so on... but now the Ensure, pads, Depends, and any and all "medical stuff" she needs, they will automatically bring us. and I no longer have to be picking those things up, including I gather most of her "meds" ... not sure if it is all of them yet, but ones that go along with the hospice diagnosis they will get and have brought to me... which is some help... then they have a list of people I can have either come "sit" with Mom in the week, night, day, etc for a few hours, some volunteer, some I will have to pay, but I can still go with ""Home Instead" which is a "sitter service" BUT they will have someone there, and I don't have to worry over if I get sick, or need to be away, and someone HAS to be with Mom, even though it means paying for them, they are bonded and so forth, I've met with one of the main case workers already.... and it is MUCH less although not cheap, than putting her in a nursing home, which means about at the lowest 3,000.00 a MONTH for room and board.... so hopefully we can keep her at home, where she REALLY wants to be, and hydrated, and well enough to avoid the hospital again... I can't say how much I appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers... and I need to get busy getting things done here, etc... but I will post when I can... Love to all of your guys and gals, Rhia Steele "All things Autoimmune"
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
New Clnical Trial for Cluster Migraines sponsored by Cure Click
Dread your next cluster headache attack?
Right now, a local clinical research study is testing an investigational medication to see if it may help people who suffer from cluster headache (Investigational means the medication isn’t approved for routine clinical use).
If you qualify for this research study, you may have the opportunity to try this investigational medication. You may also receive study-related care at no cost, and compensation may be provided.
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Wishing Our Nation A Happy and United Memorial Day - Nevver Shall We Forget Those Who Keep Us Safe and Free
Wishing each of you a Happy, Safe, and Wonderful Memorial Day Holiday, From Sea to Shining Sea!
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I really have SO MUCH to try & catch up here on, so I am going ton"Post"n some of my ongoing chronic health issues, things abo...
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How can our kids feel safe when WE as adults don't???? I fear Wal-Mart or just walking across the parking lot at HEB in my small lo...
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I finally made a trip to Urgent Care with what I feel is a very bad Lupus and RA flare, but there are several "symptoms" strange t...