Friday, June 12, 2015

Round Two of Bad Weather (I can tell from my severe pain), Lupus, RA, Flares, MORE unbearable pain, Discographs, Ankylosing Spondylitis & More

Looks like Round 2 of the BAD Weather days for my area around the DFW Metroplex, including Ellis County. It is supposed to start out as rain possibly today, but then turn back into Thunderstorms for several days through the weekend and more... so we shall see. I am supposed to go for that discograph on Monday, But, due to having this corticosteroid injection and having both I think a Lupus and RA flare at the same time, and now I am on a step down large dose of Prednisone for about 7 days or so. I am not sure they will even consider doing the procedure. Since they have to inject dye into my spine, and we run the risk of infection even with antibiotics they will give me IV during the procedure, my immune system is not probably really ready to handle it. I am calling them today and talking to them about it before I even try to go up to Dallas early Monday morning. No use in my son nor I making that trip only to have them tell me I can't have it done right now. Also I did find out my PCP will do all of the blood work my Rheumy wants me to have. I'll go in next week and have it and what my PCP wants done all at the same time. I am sure the lab tech will be thrilled! He cringes when he sees me coming. I am such a horrible stick, due to rolling veins, tiny veins, the "blow" on them, they have to "chase them down, anyway... he just looks like he wants to cry as I walk in the door. But, it all has to be done, thus he will have to stick as much as it takes to get the blood needed for the tests. They are also checking for that "marker" for AS (ankylosing spondylitis) HLA-B27... a "genetic marker" that sometimes shows with this autoimmune disorder. From what I read, lots of people can have the "marker" yet never get the AI. Then many can have AS, yet the marker does not show. Yet, my latest symptoms, with the very severe lower lumbar and sacral L-5/S-1 back pain, down into my hips, that almost keeps me from being able to sit at my computer for very long at a time... I just have all of the hallmark symptoms of the disease. Now it may show I have a compression fracture due to the osteoporosis, the reason for this discograph... I don't care what it is, fix it so I can go back to somewhat of whatever "normal" in my life is anymore. Now, that I am basically here with me and the pups, I have LOTS of stuff I want to do at the house.... but in the pain I've been in, I just am almost in tears by the time I sit here for 10 minutes... So, I do need the discograph done, but even my pain doctor, thinks it is a waste of time and money.. it appears I have something that needs to be fixed in that area, so even if we find the AS is present, then I still will probably be having lower surgery on those places on my very lower spine... My hips hurt so badly, even this morning by 3 am I was awake from pain so severe I wanted to scream.... so let's hope they find something and can do something about it....

As you can see again I'm going through hell with the AI issues. Some days just trying to ignore the pain, the inflammation, stiffness, and go ahead with all of my house projects work... and then others the Rheumatoid Arthritis, the Lupus, and now possibly Ankylosing Spondylitis, and more just about get the best of me. I am attaching a couple of links about AS, for those who want to know more, as well as about the discograph... and so forth. 

I need to try and get to work on my 3rd book on my own history and river of "fun" with Autoimmune Illnesses, and I intend to soon, if I can get to where I can sit long enough to do so. I have almost finished reading Stephen King's book "On Writing". He has some incredible ideas, and of course many I already know. I need a complete "block of time" even if that means weeks, to just write! Nothing else, if I can help it, but quiet time, where I can "bust out" the rest of the writing, then I can begin editing, proofing and so forth. I have no change but to do it all myself. I cannot afford to have a professional help with it, and I did a pretty darn good job with my 1st two books.

This 3rd on of course is so much different. It will be a compilation of my blog posts, my writing about these AI illnesses, and all of the other complications that go along with them... and my personal story, both glory and Lord awful times when I thought not being on this Earth would be better than all I've endured over this past many years... especially since 2005 forward. 

I know I need to get it out there for others to read, and hopefully show that they too can share their problems... people out there do care, even when you think they don't. 

So, as the days go by, keep me in your thoughts... lots of stuff going on with me right now. Some I cannot speak about much until later when things are more settled. 

As time goes on, I will be able to give more details about my life, and what is, is not, and what will go on, for my future. Of course, as I've found out through personal experience, as well as through the experiences of some of my friends especially on Facebook, we are never "guaranteed", what the future will hold. I was thinking about that just a bit ago while I was in the kitchen. In 2010, on Feb. 2nd, which would have been my Dad's birthday, I went to the ER via ambulance, sicker than I can remember... they thought it was my Gallbladder. Well, it came out, and I appeared to be getting better. Yet, within 10 hours or so, I was so ill, they feared I may not pull through. They rushed me via ambulance to Methodist in Dallas, where I stayed 6 weeks. They told us I had a "collapsed" bile duct, that my liver had a nick on it, from the surgery and it was pouring "poison" into my abdomen. I had tubes of stuff coming out of me for weeks and weeks. I didn't even get them out until much later after I came home. Honestly, I don't think they really ever knew what was wrong exactly. I was told by all of my physicians, including my PCP, they thought I would frankly, die... although I am still here, but it was a scary, very long 4 months or even more before I felt like I truly may live. I could not eat nor drink for something like 6 weeks. They fed me via IV the entire time... so we never know... a guy I know that was the "picture of health" in his mid 40's, was found by his wife on the floor when she got home from errands. He had a massive brain bleed. Turned out after having to remove a part of his skull to relieve the pressure, he had had a stroke... and maybe unable to move on his entire right side the rest of his life.

I just read where a friend on Facebook who has "RSD", and I don't know a lot about it, although I do know some... she is very young, and facing having her arm amputated today! It appears where blood may not get to certain areas due to nerve issues, thus it appears like she has the massive sores like an infection on her lower arm. So, they are taking her arm off partially it appears down below the elbow.

Another friend here I went to school with is battling cancer. She had it when we were still in high school! And she kicked its butt. Now, after over 30 plus years, it is back, and she is fighting daily with pain, from a tumor that is pressing on her sciatic nerve. 

That is just a few I can think of... My Dad basically went like of like that... had a knee replacement, and something just went terribly wrong... and he passed away in the hospital.... so we never know, from moment to moment what may happen...


The accident Jim had last year March 2014, who would have known an 18 wheel tractor trailer would have ran him over and now he is partially paralized from about his mid-chest down. 

Those again are just a few that I can think of now, and there are so many more of us that either have suffered like that, or know of dear family or friends, that within a breaths space... have gone through horrid and almost unbelievable health experiences. 


RSD - http://rsds.org/



Ankylosing Spondylitis -   (AS)
http://www.spondylitis.org/about/as.aspx




 

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Lots of thoughts and prayers needed now...

I can't really go into lots of details at the moment, but there are some really life changing things going on at this time for myself, and my family.

When you are chronically ill, and or in chronic pain... at the first you may never have the thought about HOW MUCH your life can change. Then as the doctors visits, medications, tests, surgeries, fatigue.... and so many things change, physically, emotionally, mentally... all aspects of what used to be "normal"... can be gone within a breath's space...

Then you have two people, one that has been "healthier" that could stand in for the other, when illness or flares hit... and all of a sudden that person is also either as ill as you, or even worse. So, that is when nothing is the same... you may think things will improve, we will find a "new normal".... and it just takes time, patience, tenacity... will power, respect, and love to finally find whatever can go on in the future. Yet, a "dam" appears... the river of life that you felt was so awesome, suddenly turns into a raging force, driving one in one direction, a fork you may say, and the other, suddenly winds up in the opposite direction.... and that is when "trying to piece back your life" can either be not really going to happen, might happen, or usually you finally KNOW, things must change... and change drastically, for both of your sakes...

As I said, I can't go into lots of details, and for now, I think those that do know me, and have an understanding of all of the drama, the illnesses, surgeries, doctors, and pain... from the physical, to the emotional, mental, and daily life - has all bundled up into a huge knot, and you just cannot manage to go on that way.


We are NEVER guaranteed anything but to "live" and then to "die".... in between things can be smooth, even, rocky, a landslide, and so often we are left wondering why the hell this happened? All of the questions, why am I being punished? Am I a "bad" person? Why can't I just have a break? Why can't something be "easy" for a change????

None of us know that answer. And throughout my entire life, most EVERYTHING has been a challenge. There are not many things for me, that have came "easy"... I worked, fought, crawled up the mountain, as the stones dug into my knees.... and slid back down again.... and I do know that only through FAITH and HOPE can I continue to one step at a time, moment by moment, then hour by hour, day by day.... week by week... and then months... years... and one day when I am no longer on this Earth... then all shall be revealed.


So, I WILL continue on with my 3rd book... and hope to finish it up on schedule by the end of the year. I WILL continue to be a voice, activist, advocate, and ambassador...
Lord willing, and my health continue to half way act right.... and hopefully the brain fog, pain and suffering may hopefully have something done about soon... either by surgery, by new medications... and so forth...

I shall give more information as the next days go along... so PLEASE continue to come and join in on my blog... and for those who have always been here to support, encourage, provide strength, faith, and prayers... I am so very grateful for all of you....

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Osteoporosis And My "Severe" Range Numbers...

I haven't been able to sit and write much. I was gone for a couple of days for a "girls get away" trip with my Mom. We went to OK, to the Winstar and just had an incredible time!

But, with the issues I've had with my very lower spine and hips, the sitting really did me in. I've spent the last two days trying to recuperate, and I am already having massive issues with severe pain, burning, even all the way down into my heels at times. A CT scan shows some issues at L-5/S-1 & 2. But, it is really not able to tell us just how badly it is. I suspect a probable compression fracture or maybe 2 due to the severity of my osteoporosis. It was something I never really thought much about until I had my first bone scan about 3 years ago. I was totally blown away by finding out I had not just the disease, but SEVERE osteoporosis.

I began doing research to find out, due to the RA, Lupus, Prednisone for the illnesses, my tiny bone structure, and several other things all contribute to my having this disease. My hips are totally with it, as well as my "femoral neck" and my lower lumber spine. Thus I feel that is where the compression fracture or fractures could be. Due to having a internal pain pump I can't have an MRI. But, we already know, I have had more than one time of having a "scan", then going on with surgery only to find out the surgery really showed the severity of my problems. My joints are just being destroyed.

Anyway, I had not wrote but a bit about it, so I decided to at least post this, along with this URL:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osteoporosis

And I will continue later... ;)

Friday, May 29, 2015

Wondering If I "Offended" anyone? Living a Life of never knowing what is around the corner, one day to the next.

As of lately, between thunderstorms, rain that seems to be never ending, concerns for loved ones and others I know that could be caught in these rushing waters somewhere, and all of the things I've seemed to either "get behind" on, or feel as if I am moving again, too slowly.

I know, another very long, drawn out sentence to start a post. As usual. from brain fog, to wondering what comes next, I am not sure what to us. I've awakened a couple of nights in a row, feeling as if I was being suffocated. Some of it, I'm sure just upset over all of the tremendous amount of rain, thunderstorms, water, and problems that go along with all of it.

I've got to make a couple of decisions in regard to my own health, that are not easy to make. As I've said now for weeks, Mom and I have been so looking forward to going for a overnight stay, a girls day and night out, away from all of the drama that continues to surround my life.

After going for months, and not hearing from our lawyer, about three days ago, finally after I had made a step in their direction, we get an email from an "assistant attorney" at our lawyer's office. She had read my email, and saw that I was in a bit of a fluster, not hearing anything from them for months, she comes back with her own email about some paperwork they need. There are some things that need to be clarified from information that a gentleman came down here and got from Jim. I believe it was more of a testing, of just how badly his memory, and that had been still trying to piece that information together. They also want names of doctors and addresses of course of any doctors Jim has seen over the past several months, since he gave them everything from the hospital.

We tend to think that "maybe", and that is a huge maybe, something may try to move forward now. Since "our attorney" is asking for information they may have some idea about the possibility of this not going on to a "jury and trial". I would "assume" that the other party involved in all of this would not want to "air" all of the details out in the "Dallas" area. But, we of course don't have a clue, as to what type of "witnesses" that we have "been told" they gotten depositions from. I cannot fathom, many "witnesses" to this at all. Only those involved in the wreck, being that it was on I-45, a very busy portion at that coming into the Dallas City Limits. and was no real "houses" to amount to anything in that area, If they do or did have a "look" it couldn't have been very much. That entire area, is more or less not filled with any real residential areas, with the exception, of the possibility of some type of apartments, and they would be kind of difficult to get a very good look at something on that stretch of highway, that happened that rapidly, to be able to say one way or the other what you "may have seen".... plus there as far as we know were no people that "stopped" and asked to help. With the accident as bad as it was, if someone had really seen what took place, I can't imagine them not stopping at the very least to not try and get 911 there, and even possibly get Jim out of that car. Of course He thought there was, but later we found out, what he thought I believe was the actual fire crew that came in and had to literally cut him out of the car. As far as we know there was not anyone that stopped to help. So, "onlookers" (I was not there so I can't say with certainty) seems kind of doubtful at this point.

I've been through that area now on several occasions driving back and forth to doctors, and unless it is one particular "house" or more like an apartment building, there is nothing "facing" the highway enough to see what really went on..


None the less, we also don't know whom it telling what, and whom knows anything, and maybe there is "not" a "witness"... but the other parties of course are going to "stir" the soup of a mess in any way they can in order to make the situation a bit deeper into a pile of crap honestly.

I am going to "end" this here. It is already after 2:30 on Friday afternoon. I've been so busy these past several days, and still am having to deal with whether to attempt Dallas and go to the Casino Sunday.. OR wait until my doctors appointment that is Wednesday afternoon, and we would be about an hour and 20 minutes away from the Casino then. We could even stay Wed. night and Thursday night... if we did that... the weather "supposedly" is going to be out of the woods as far as thunderstorms and all that has been going on. I have not packed yet, and I should have went to town today, but I don't want to attempt to wash the car until tomorrow... when hopefully it won't be as "muddy" as today. I can tell I am tired... my eyes are seeing "double vision" even with my glasses on as I type. So, I know I am just exhausted.... anyway, I think I am off to the sofa for now and give thought to what I may want to do about all of this...

Thursday, May 28, 2015

When it finally "dawns on you" why you seem so totally living in "chaos" even above the drama of Chronic Pain and Chronic Illnesses

I have spent moments, hours, days, weeks, even I am sure YEARS trying to figure out exactly "why" my life seems to be in a "chaotic" whirlwind almost daily.

Yes, having autoimmune and/or any type of "chronic illnesses" along with "chronic pain" puts your life in turmoil more often it seems than not.


Yet, that still does not explain why, with only 2 adults, 2 pups, in a tiny two bedroom, barely over a 1,000 sq foot home, and a back and front lawn that are definitely average in size, along with a "back forty" a small bit of land that up until this fall had the neighbors sheep and goats on it, so we never had to be concerned on it. Why it seems that EVERY DAY of my life I look around, and I am constantly dusting, vacuuming, mopping, sweeping, picking up things, doing laundry, taking out trash, scrubbing tub and toilet. Yet both inside and out, I feel like it appears that this house is dirty, and it is just falling down around me every day a bit more.

When I bought it, I put a LOT of money into it, there was still SO MUCH "restoration" that needed to be done, yet the money ran out. So, even though there was at least 10,000.00 or more put into it, for painting, redoing floors, carpets, furniture, redoing plumbing, a lot of the electrical rewiring, lots of new plumbing, a brand new shower/tub, a new toliet, taking in a wall, knocking one out to have a bit of closet space and to make the bathroom larger. Yet, when it came to redoing flooring in the bath, kitchen, doing the finishing work i the laundry room, a carport had to be put up, and now the list is still endless.

We had some storm windows put in, and had a great deal of insulation put in the walls and attic. Yet, one bedroom did not get the new windows, and the windows are so old, the glass brittle, they lack most of the correct Pins and "glazing" that should be around them. That entire room has really never had been redone, so it needs paint, the windows repaired, a new ceiling fan, carpeting laid, and along with now the outside of the house needs a complete paint job, and some rotten board repaired.

So, I see one of my "mistakes" was not considering just how much MORE I needed in finances to really PUT this home back to its original state. I lacked about 5,000.00 back then, and now with other things going on, it is more like 10,000.00  more that needs to be put in... a new roof, the ceiling in many of the rooms really need to be either repainted or redone. The floors in the kitchen, bath and laundry room laid in. The walls that are in the bath need to be some still put in, and/or "mudded" and textured for paint. So, I should have known that without ALL of those funds, trying to "make" this house "look" neat and clean is very difficult, if you still have "portions" that are not yet up.

So, I look around, and even though SO MUCH work was done, and ALL for the most part myself and my husband did it all. From redoing hardwood flooring to painting, texturing, putting in a larger shower/tub, all of the plumbing, still the house no matter HOW MUCH I clean it, to me it looks dirty. I can dust, mop,sweep, do laundry, and almost every day it could be done again. Nothing ever looks "clean". Even though I KNOW it is, when it is "old" stained, and needs replacing, it just never appears to be clean.

Of course, then there were a stove/oven, the refrigerator, the washer and dryer, bed, furniture for the living room, and the list of all of those things, from the "renovation" work, to all of the other items needed to run a home, lawn mower, weedeater, tools... we had to buy a huge array of tools, saws, screwdrivers, wrenches, tree trimmers, you name it, of course if you do lawn work, and work around your home, you know just how many tools that can take. Blinds, curtains, sheets, towels... yes, we had "some" of these after being together for a pretty good length of time, but even those were beginning to show their own signs of "wear and tear".

So, then come along, and I became "chronically ill" - with autoimmune illnesses, that led into many surgeries, doctors, tests, you name it, I went through it. It seemed endless. Then, many of the things I could do, no longer was I able to do, when it came to the DIY around the house. I had both knees replaced, a shoulder replaced, surgeries on other joints, my neck had to have surgery, then I had "double hernia" surgery, not that long ago... thus me being able to even, "mow", do things in the yard as I once did, many things in the house, either I cannot do them anymore, or it takes me 5 TIMES as long as it used to.

My energy level is constantly up and down. The fatigue at times is just horrid. The brain fog, now has "captured" my mind so much, that even trying to write some days seems like it might be impossible.

So, now after being in this home, that we loved, we wanted, we wanted something we could "FIX UP" ourselves... yet, now it needs a new roof, we need gravel under the carport, windows finished in that back room, carpet laid in there, the house needs a painting all over... and again the list is endless .... and again it seems no matter how much I clean, how much I sweep, it seems nothing is ever "finished" or clean.

Texas is known for its "dust" that seems to come from no where. But, there is a constant battle with a grey dust that seems to settle daily on everything. As I said in the beginning, it just seems endless.\

What makes it even worse, I would much rather be here, at the computer, writing my book, so I can get it published. Yet, that always seems to be the "last" thing on the bottom of an endless to do list. So, by the time I reach down and pull up more things to be done, I am too worn out, physically, mentally and emotionally to really put myself into the writing as I want to.

So, now I sit here, daily, wanting so badly for things to just STOP for a few days, stay clean, not have endless errands to run, or things to do like shopping, mail, laundry, cooking, mopping, paying bills... all of that could just be put on hold for a few weeks so I can have some quality time to write...

Right now, it is almost 1 PM. I am on "empty" as far as energy, with sheets to be put back on the bed, and other clothes to be hung up or put away. I need a shower, and I'm drenched in sweat from the humidity. I have already swept, done laundry, mopped, dusted, including under the bed, behind it, and so on, it id trash day and after a holiday and a massive amount of bad weather I had 3 can FULL of not just trash, but limbs, and 4 other huge limbs too large to cut up. In between, I've done some things on line, but I am worn out from these past few weeks of energy.... and it seems there is never a break. I began trying to work on the inside windows in the back spare room. Well, that is going to take time to sand down, fill in so many places with wood putty and then get them ready to paint. After that, they have to be fixed from the outside with the pins and glazing which is very time consuming. I have a total of 5 windows, all of which need that work on them. I actually still have a broken windows from the hail storm last year. I had hail break a window when I was ill with pneumonia, so it is taped up and sealed up the best I can until I can get it measured and have someone to help me put it in. I can, but I need another person to hold it in place, as I can't hold it and pin it at the same time..


So, hind sight is "20/20".... there are so many things I look back on now, and so wished I would have done differently. I can't tell it all here in one post, but from some of my "relationships", to homes, to where I am living in the nation, to health problems, jobs... and TIME to write my book! That is probably THE MOST important thing to me, is to FINISH THAT BOOK AND GET IT PUBLISHED! But, how does ONE person do it all? And then have enough "time and energy" to feel like doing it all, and then spending time on my book daily.


By the time I've been up since sometimes 5AM, and 4 PM rolls around, I am totally exhausted. I wished I had an easy answer... I wished I had any answer.....



Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Prescription Pain Medications and Legitimate Patients Once Again Could face issues... we MUST stand up for OUR RIGHTS!

Again, as you can see, those of us who ARE chronic pain patients and we DO take our Medications PROPERLY and we keep them SAFE, LOCKED UP, and take them ONLY AS DIRECTED, following all of the "pain doctors" orders to a "t" so we do NOT abuse our medications, nor are we the ones using them for "recreational" use, or to do something illegal with them. SO, the "FEW" the DO NOT use them correctly, OR they sell them, or overtake them, or get them from numerous doctors and so on, cause US the very people the medications are for, to SUFFER!!! It is already DIFFICULT ENOUGH to get into a GOOD pain doctor that DOES prescribe pain medications. Then when you do, never would you try and do anything to jeopardize that "contract" between you and your physician!!!! WE MUST stand UP for OURSELVES!!! Or once again, we will be in a place that we may have suffer needlessly due to the few that do wrong. This has to be talked about, taken seriously, and we are the ones, the PATIENTS that must fight for our rights as being able to do "our lives like I do my own.... So, each of you, that are in the same situation, I would love to hear from you, and see what you have to say about this ever changing issue... it sucks that a few, can cause harm to so many.


http://nationalpainreport.com/the-prescription-drug-abuse-caucus-what-does-it-mean-to-chronic-pain-sufferers-8826244.html



Tuesday, May 26, 2015

New Clinical Trials - Cure Click & My Relationship to all of this..

Currently, there are 6 Clinical Trials going at Cure Click

I wanted to give you a look at all 6 of them at once here in my blog, along with some facts, figures, and how I am involved with these. Giving you MORE information, I hope to help you understand YOU or someone else you MAY KNOW, with one of these illnesses may qualify to get possible involvement in a Clinical Trial. I realized a couple of years ago, that "Clinical Trials" in themselves can be sometimes a bit "complicated" to read through, understand, and even try to find out where they are and how you may qualify. After being asked to be a part of "Cure Click", I was thrilled to see that this is sort of a whole new way to possibly get into a clinical trial, and in ways that can make the "red tape" less and getting the possible help out of a clinical trial you may be seeking. So, here are links to the 6 trials available (and watch for more on the way shortly) that are active now. Then below them will be some information that will help you understand the trials, how they work, what my role in this is, and please always feel free to ask me if you need additional information about any of these, or about anything you might need to know about clinical trials in general.

Prostate Cancer

http://curec.lk/1R7YyFg


 

People with Previously Treated Stage IV Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer






High Cholesterol and Heart Disease

http://curec.lk/1csLxa5



Patients With Mild to Moderate Asthma

http://curec.lk/1DHGmJC    




Severe Asthma

http://curec.lk/1yjyQmA    






 

 Type II Diabetes


http://curec.lk/1EaSCH3   



As you can see there is a wide array of Clinical Trials Available at this time, and more to come shortly. I had said that there are many things about Cure Click I like, and between being a bit easier to understand and go through to find out if you qualify, along with a way to ask questions to myself, or through Cure click, it really does make getting into a Clinical Trial seem simpler and less red tape.


I hope if you or someone you know would like to find out if you can qualify, feel free to click any of the links above, or you can post here, or send me a message and let me know what else you might need to know. If I can be of help then that is why I am doing this, is to HELP Others!





And here is my own involvement in Cure Click plus other information you may want to know.  

http://curec.lk/1Gb4toG

 

 

 

 

 





Monday, May 25, 2015

PROSTATE CANCER TRIAL AVAILABLE SEEKING NEW PARTICIPANTS


Cure Click