As just about anyone knows who follows my Facebook and blog site, you know about the accident that happened on March 26th 2014, to my husband Jim. Most of you knew I was in Washington D.C. at the time with the Arthritic Foundation, for the Annual Summit on Capitol Hill. It was my very first time to be in DC, as well as my first time to get the opportunity to voice my own personal struggles, along with all of our struggles, involving autoimmune illness, medications, lack of doctors, especially Pediatric Rheumatologists, and so forth. There has not been nearly enough done about these illnesses, ranging from not enough doctors, not enough research, not enough knowledge to those who have the illnesses or know someone that does, whether family, caretaker, friend and so on.
I felt my voice there and since then has been integral in helping to move forward and fight against illnesses such as RA, Lupus, Sjogren's, MS, FM, CFS, and the gamut of Autoimmune illnesses that we do not even realize exist. A new factor for me this year had been that I have "pernicious anemia", which is an autoimmune illness. Rather than being "anemic" my body does not absorb enough out of my food, and keep it going in my body as it should, thus I take B-12 supplements, which by the way, it is the B-12 it effects as far as the autoimmune part of this. Of course I am on a HUGE daily dose of Folic Acid" which is B-6, due to one of the medications I take. It depletes the body's Folic Acid, so I must supplement it daily with about 400 Times the amount a normal person would need. I found out that much of my horrible sores, thrush, and mouth ulcers were caused from a lack of Folic Acid. Once I began using it daily, at a high dose (it is water soluble so you can't get "too much") my mouth is not nearly as bad about having all types of sores, ulcers, sore throats, thrush and so on as I had before.
I had not given much thought that due to the "nature" of what all has transpired that I would not be able to "voice" the everyday thoughts I feel surrounding what all happened, has happened, and what may or may not happen over the next year. In a way, that makes me very sad. The very one outlet I have to things in life, from illness, to children, to Mom, marriage, and my own frustrations with illness, I always knew I could come here and "talk" about what was happening and not at the time had to "censor" what I spoke about when it came to life. Yet, now I feel this heavy burden, although never was my fault, and I never gave any idea to it, I am may not speak about all of what is happening as the time over the next few months go by, So, if I avoid that subject it is certainly not because it is forgotten, or it is not still a huge everyday part of my life, but because life is as it is, I have to "alter" my own voice, as far as my posts, and not speak, unless it is in a very general sense of what happened. Most everyone that comes to my blog, for the most part are people that are close to me, enough that they already know the ongoing saga from March 26th, 2014. So, there is really not a "need" for me to tell others, but more of a need for me to be able to "release" my ongoing revelations about that being what it seems life as it is right now evolves around. You tend to get up when the "rooster" crows with the thoughts of it spewing out of your brain, and then all day long it seems every thing, every where, all that you do is a reminder of the nightmare of having something so horrible happen in your life. Each time I close my eyes, that is a last thought, and each morning I awake with it as a first thought, and all through the days you tend to live out in thought of it. Then while you sleep the PTSD hits, and it can also happen during waking hours. All of you who have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder know exactly what I mean... you spend your days trying to knock it off your shoulders and in the night, you try to take it out of your dreams, so you can at least have some peace during your sleep. Good Luck. Many people and I have even had the thoughts that "things" would be better as time goes by. Memories fade, time helps to heal the damage physically, mentally and emotionally. I can tell you that this... time has NOT erased, nor has it made it any better. If anything, each passing day the building up of being totally in damnation by all that is occurring around you, only grows larger, nothing fades. From the very 1st phone call, till the last piece of daily mail, to the questions, and I mean just daily questions, how are you, how are you getting by, how are things??? Questions, that sometimes I wished I could just say things SUCK! Things are worse, no better... life has lost its luster filled wonder, my dismay of voice, of writing, of being so caught up in something that I did NOT even have anything to do with, is running rampantly through my life and through my very veins, like the blood my heart pumps with every beat. You DON'T heal, not that quickly... you DON'T stop feeling guilty over something YOU DID NOT DO! You don't find a quick fix... there is none... so I plunge myself into trying to write, I plunge myself when I feel like it, trying to throw out all of the stuff in this house that are reminders of what life used to be like. I DON'T want to even remember a "good" or bad moment... I don't want to have to fear the past, present, or the future. I am sick and tired, of hearing, feeling, and being sick and tired. I am sick of bitching, griping, moaning, groaning and crying. I am sick of listening to others try to tell me it will work out, it will get better, because right now nothing seems better, everything seems out of sorts, out of whack, and I have lost all patience with those who think they can "fix" it for me. There is NO FIXING what is permanently broken.
My mouth and teeth for example. Let's get on that band wagon and have a talk about those. Of course not one dentist could fully assure me that my mouth would be better when all of my teeth that Sjögren's destroyed, when pulled out and dentures put in would be 100% better. I knew that. I am far from a moron, or from a dreamer. My "dreamer" stage left me a long time ago, after my job, and my life almost fell apart in Seattle. He threw enough sand in my eyes, and did enough damage to my heart, that I no longer am the "dreamer" I had been. I truly feel that is why the poetry I used to be able to write, sometimes 7 or 8 daily, don't come anymore. When Steve, did what he did, after bringing me over 3,000 miles away from my "home" and family, with promises that I would have a wonderful life in Seattle, to only shoot all of those good feelings down within a year or a little over after me getting settled in, with his cheating, lying deceitfulness... dreaming ... as far as being a dreamer, left. That is when a "new voice" emerged and my writing became totally different. It will never be as it was when I was that creature of wonderment, of discovery, of believing people truly cared.... he literally took his hand, reached in and pulled all of that from my heart, and threw it into the Sound at Seattle... for there is where all of those wonderment of feeling lie... in the Sound of Seattle... I can still at times feel the winds blowing across as I looked at the beautiful city, when I walked daily on Alki, loving each day there, and breathing new life, wanting and knowing a new glory would emerge.
I don't want to sound like I am that unhappy being here around my Mom, kids, and Grand Kids... and I am not putting down our lives, or feel "cheated" in some way as far as why we are here, and why we will probably continue to be right here, probably in the same house till Gabriel's horns blow. Yet, "cheated" from living life as I felt we would I can say is a terrible disappointment. Kind of like FINALLY after years and years... of not being able to say I was a "published author".... I got that opportunity... not only once but TWICE I can say I have two published books, and even have a "check" from the seller for two of them that actually sold! I am so tickled about it, I am not going to "cash" it, but frame it and put it on my wall by my computer and desk. Even though it is a mere little over 6.00, it still means that it is priceless to me. It gave me a tiny glimmer of "normal" and that a minute bit of my "hope" and Faith could actually coming back to me. Which is far from where I've been in the past 8 months or so. I had given up on normal forever, and as far as the glimmer of hope and faith; believe me it has been fading fast in the background of all that has taken place since 2005 and actually a bit before then.
As I had titled this post "Two Days of Insanity"... there were reasons for the title. I thought about "re-titling" the post, but whatever it is "called" will not change the meaning of the post in itself. I have been trying to squeeze in lots of my own personal advocacy and activist work, over the months, but between being gone to so many different appointments, taking care of all that needs to be done here at home daily. from taking out the trash to running to the market, it seems my time either is gone, or the energy that I did have in my "spoons" for the day are used up.
That should "stick" with me more than it does. When others ask me how I am doing, feeling, whether they mean illness wise, emotional wise, from autoimmune illnesses, to his issues with spinal cord injury, I really should say well I began this day with 8 spoons, getting showered and dressed took at least 2, maybe 3. By the time I had coupons ready, a list done, and ads matched up there flew out at least one at the very, very least. THEN I am looking at having at the most 5 spoons left. Well, by the time I run errands, get through the market, which here seems to be a nightmare any day of the week, or have to go and do something at Mom's,or it is laundry day, or I have to find and fix something for dinner, if I had already used up the left overs.... so I can contest, by then there are OVER 5 spoons used up, and my day is not over yet.
I still have dishes to do, right now we are fighting "sugar ants", which I was raised here in TX, so here we called them "piss ants". Don't ask me why, but I always gathered it was because they were so extremely tiny... they will sniff out one crumb, and within an hour invade an entire bowl of dog food, if you are not watching. I decided to try something "harmless" to the dogs... so I read putting back soda around their bowls would stop the ants. They won't go into the baking soda. So, guess what? Both dog food bowls have baking soda surrounding them. Knowing my "Chi_Weenie".
Then I also read ants hate tea bags, like after you brew your tea, let the bag air dry and put it in the corner of a shelf where you have stuff it won't hurt and where you have seen ants. Hell I even bought the "good" any bait traps, and I am still finding ants in stupid places. I guess they are either hungry or thirsty. But, dammit I am sick of trying to keep from spraying Raid and getting the heck rid of them. Even though about a week ago, I bought "Raid" for ants mainly with a get this "Lemon scent". I hope the hell someone does not think it is furniture polish!!! And I sprayed it on a rag, and wiped down the splash boards window sills, everywhere and everything I could without getting it around food or anything else. And even after doing that, wiping, vacuuming, and spraying where I could. Plus I leave nothing "open". Anything from chips to bread, goes in the fridge. If it is something that possibly will attract an ant it goes in plastic or glass containers with lids on them. So, that the hellish little devils you would think would move on. I am NOT a fan of any kind of "bug".... from a spider, mosquito, I don't care what it is, if it is "creature" of any kind, it does NOT belong in my house. So, I am a real stickler for spraying the yard, all around the outside perimeter of the house, and then I keep the roach baits and ant baits out and update those about every 6 months. The ONE thing I cannot get rid of and that I despise so badly is those little freaky looking "newt" lizard looking things. They just make my skin crawl. Oddly enough all my life here in TX, before I went to Seattle in October of 2001, I had NEVER seen a "newt" or whatever at any of my homes... never... no kind of lizard thing. I had a mouse once, and actually had a possum climb up our pipe that came into the house to the water heater... and she actually took her scared butt down, got by the steps of our front porch and stayed there for weeks with babies clinging to her. It was weird. But no damned things like that. So, the first time I saw one in our home we live in now, I had no clue what the heck it was. Weird almost a pink iridecent looking thing that ran fast, looked like some kind of strange lizard, and I was hell bent to rid my house of those little bastards (excuse my French)... so here I go online to find out what to do to get rid of the damned things. We had gotten just about rid of the few mice in the attic, at the time they put that insulation down that is kind of like shredded looking newspaper. Other than that an occasional water bug, which won't last long here. or a spider that I also despise, thus I just knew I would find something to rid my house of those things. They certainly were not the cute little "GEIGO" Gecko... and even if they were I don't want them in my house....
Well, guess what ladies and gents! It is almost impossible to get rid of them. Undoubtably they are not effected by bug sprays, roach baits, spraying the outside all the way around the house, including the porches, and those damned things are just not subject to any of the poisons or baits. Well, I figured out they "hide" in the grooves of the siding and the frames of the windows and doors. They also hide behind out two front porch lights. Plus I would bet they are in the insulation of our walls. So, everything I read said leave them alone, they eat bugs and are harmless. They maybe harmless but they sure as hell don't look or move as if they harmless. They creep me out just about more than anything other than a snake.
Anyway, how I ever got off on that tangent I am not sure other than the one thing that came to mind, is one of our "storm windows" on the kitchen window has just "popped loose" and was hanging there by a couple of screws. I almost fainted! If that sucker falls out and breaks we are in deep crap. They are not cheap, and we still need to buy all the ones that go over the windows in our music room. There are I believe there are 5 of those at about $80.00 plus a piece, because they are made to specifically fit the windows. We were going to get the man who put up all of the rest of them to get us those for a bit cheaper rate, and then he would put them up ... of course something else always comes up thus we did not have the money or time now and again to finish them.. and they need to be done... those old windows back there do not even have any of the push pins and the stuff you put around the windows to seal the glass in.... the glaze is just about out of all of them, then we had hail knock a hole in one while Jim was in the hospital, so I have it all put together with cardboard and lots of duct tape... 9,999 uses for duct tape, a wire coat hanger, and WD-40!
More later.... got to get dressed to take my Mom to shop...
"Through my heart's work of writing, I share with you my complex journey a top the mountain, sliding down, crawling up, & living through the realms of Autoimmune Arthritic Illnesses. Taming "The Wolf" Thru each Day... One Step at a Time … Together We Are Learning to Survive. Please follow along, to New Beginnings - looking Thru the Window Pane of Pain in life where we shall find our journey leading us to - New Perspectives
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Annual WEGO Health Activist Awards Time Again
Friday, September 19, 2014
Post of the "The Face of Pain" - FOR NATIONAL PAIN AWARENESS MONTH!
When I see thee numbers is just astounds me. It is just like the autoimmune illnesses that for many destroy our lives. The chronic pain and the AI's tend to run hand in hand. Most with an AI, do also have chronic pain. So, pain is always there somewhere, lying wait for another victim. Please help and do something to change the "Face of Pain".....
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Arthritis Internet Registery
http://www.arthritis.org/research/participate-in-research/arthritis-internet-registry/
I wanted to let everyone know about a special internet registry for arthritis of different types. Researchers will be using your information to effectively treat arthritis, or possibly even find a cure. For more information see the link above!
30 day Healthy Eating and Nutrition Challenge! by the IFAA
NUTRITION SUPPORT GROUP FOR AUTOIMMUNE ARTHRITIS (AND RELATED) DISEASES NOW FORMING. SIGN UP TODAY!
Are you a patient who would like to boost your health by eating more nutrient rich foods but you need help reaching your goals or jumpstarting your efforts?
Are you interested in communicating daily with other patients, just like you, who have the same diseases and face the same struggles with diet? and working towards common goals together, as a group?
Would you like to have a Personal Training and Wellness Coach (who happens to also have Rheumatoid Arthritis) there to help you daily with recipe recommendations, label reading assistance, and support to keep you on track?
For just the month of October, IFAA is launching a pilot program in the hopes that there is enough interest from our community to make this a full-fledged program in 2015. Why is this an exciting opportunity for YOU right now? The group who participates in October will not only be helping themselves, they will be helping potentially 1,000's of patients around the world because these participants will be contributing commentary to what should be in the permanent program!
What's more? Not only will these participants be working daily with our wellness experts AND other patients, this just in....IFAA's CEO (and patient) will also be in the group and working one on one with each patient, DAILY for 30 days, to tackle the patient-specific challenges we all face, such as what to do when you are flaring and cannot cut your meals? Are there fatigue-fighting ideas to help you through the day (and night)?
But wait...there's MORE! We are also contacting "special guests" (aka Autoimmune Arthritis patients who understand diet and cooking challenges), who we will be asking to make special appearances in the group!
We need a minimum of 10 patients to participate in the pilot program. Will YOU be the one who makes the most changes to YOUR life AND the lives of thousands?
LEARN MORE AND REGISTER TODAY:
http://ifautoimmunearthritis.org/30_Day_Challenge.html
There is a $40USD fee associated with this program (program without the one on one patient assistance from IFAA, only from the trainer is usually $60USD, so this is a discounted price. Also, $10 will be donated to IFAA from each registered participant.)
NOTE: This is a nutrition support patient group created to help those who want to improve their nutrition and diet, in conjunction with their current treatment plan; this is NOT to be used as a substitute for treatment.
Are you a patient who would like to boost your health by eating more nutrient rich foods but you need help reaching your goals or jumpstarting your efforts?
Are you interested in communicating daily with other patients, just like you, who have the same diseases and face the same struggles with diet? and working towards common goals together, as a group?
Would you like to have a Personal Training and Wellness Coach (who happens to also have Rheumatoid Arthritis) there to help you daily with recipe recommendations, label reading assistance, and support to keep you on track?
For just the month of October, IFAA is launching a pilot program in the hopes that there is enough interest from our community to make this a full-fledged program in 2015. Why is this an exciting opportunity for YOU right now? The group who participates in October will not only be helping themselves, they will be helping potentially 1,000's of patients around the world because these participants will be contributing commentary to what should be in the permanent program!
What's more? Not only will these participants be working daily with our wellness experts AND other patients, this just in....IFAA's CEO (and patient) will also be in the group and working one on one with each patient, DAILY for 30 days, to tackle the patient-specific challenges we all face, such as what to do when you are flaring and cannot cut your meals? Are there fatigue-fighting ideas to help you through the day (and night)?
But wait...there's MORE! We are also contacting "special guests" (aka Autoimmune Arthritis patients who understand diet and cooking challenges), who we will be asking to make special appearances in the group!
We need a minimum of 10 patients to participate in the pilot program. Will YOU be the one who makes the most changes to YOUR life AND the lives of thousands?
LEARN MORE AND REGISTER TODAY:
http://ifautoimmunearthritis.org/30_Day_Challenge.html
There is a $40USD fee associated with this program (program without the one on one patient assistance from IFAA, only from the trainer is usually $60USD, so this is a discounted price. Also, $10 will be donated to IFAA from each registered participant.)
NOTE: This is a nutrition support patient group created to help those who want to improve their nutrition and diet, in conjunction with their current treatment plan; this is NOT to be used as a substitute for treatment.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
PLEASE Start COMMENTING!!!!
I have lots to catch you up on over the next couple of weeks. I promise I will. I am on a new RA/Lupus medication, that is not a biologic. I will explain what my Rheumatologist told me, and how he has come to the conclusion, that if I can, maybe trying to stay away from a biologic, other than trying Orencia, would help to possibly reduce the number of infections I continue to get. I had been ill from way before Christmas last year, and was ill when I went to D.C. at the end of March! I was having a flare, but I was also I believe even then developing bronchitis that turned into double pneumonia. But, until I was running 104.5 degree temperature and almost out of my mind hallucinating from the high fever (I NEVER have a fever)... thus now I certainly know what to look for if I expect I might be having a new infection coming along.
I am so grateful to ALL of you who come here and read my blog posts. I know you do, and I see who comments and who does not. I will say that up until the last couple of weeks, there was not a good way I could see the comment if there was one, and I certainly had not a good way to see who commented at all, and what they said.
Now Blogger has made some much needed revisions in the Blogger software, and I just have to catch up as to what they have changed, and how I can use what they have done to make my blog even much, much better.
We have a few more things to work out with doctors, finding a "good" pain specialist for Jim and a Neurologist who will take his insurance and take care of problems as they arise. We think we may FINALLY have a couple of good referrals, but we shall see. When it comes to doctors, tests, hospitals, insurance companies, and pharmacies, you never know what the outcome will be.
I am still working on getting my jawbones strong and well enough to withstand the little mini implants that my dentures will snap down on those and be able to let me eat with them in and they not especially the bottom one coming falling out, I am getting there, but it is just taking patience to allow those all to fill in and heal before he can put those implants in and they stay strong enough, and my jawbone strong enough to hold them in. So, I still have at least until November to do X-rays and see where we stand.
I have just completed being a "Consumer Reviewer" that I had been nominated to do and then was asked if I wanted to do it, and of course I said yes. It was a true learning experience but it has provided me with lots of new avenues of advocacy, ambassador, and activist can mean, and how much my opinion and all of our opinions Do MATTER!!!!
On Monday, Jim's birthday.... the 22nd we have an appointment at our lawyers office to go over what will be going on for the depositions. Then on Tuesday we go back in and give our depositions. Since it is in Ft. Worth, our plans are to stay the night, and possibly go out to eat or something in celebration of Jim's birthday... and who knows... we maybe also celebrating the nightmare of this wreck stuff to finally be coming close to an end... and it coming out in our favor in a very huge way!!!
It is a bit nerve racking, thus I have not talked about it much. I just felt until we are close enough to possibly know when we will know the outcome. So keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as Monday and Tuesday are very significant for us in regard to possibly getting favorable results from the law suit.
I shall put on more tomorrow... as I get some of my other
chores out of my face...
Hugs, Rhia and by the way.. once and again, thank you my dear friend for taking a moment to post here :)
I am so grateful to ALL of you who come here and read my blog posts. I know you do, and I see who comments and who does not. I will say that up until the last couple of weeks, there was not a good way I could see the comment if there was one, and I certainly had not a good way to see who commented at all, and what they said.
Now Blogger has made some much needed revisions in the Blogger software, and I just have to catch up as to what they have changed, and how I can use what they have done to make my blog even much, much better.
We have a few more things to work out with doctors, finding a "good" pain specialist for Jim and a Neurologist who will take his insurance and take care of problems as they arise. We think we may FINALLY have a couple of good referrals, but we shall see. When it comes to doctors, tests, hospitals, insurance companies, and pharmacies, you never know what the outcome will be.
I am still working on getting my jawbones strong and well enough to withstand the little mini implants that my dentures will snap down on those and be able to let me eat with them in and they not especially the bottom one coming falling out, I am getting there, but it is just taking patience to allow those all to fill in and heal before he can put those implants in and they stay strong enough, and my jawbone strong enough to hold them in. So, I still have at least until November to do X-rays and see where we stand.
I have just completed being a "Consumer Reviewer" that I had been nominated to do and then was asked if I wanted to do it, and of course I said yes. It was a true learning experience but it has provided me with lots of new avenues of advocacy, ambassador, and activist can mean, and how much my opinion and all of our opinions Do MATTER!!!!
On Monday, Jim's birthday.... the 22nd we have an appointment at our lawyers office to go over what will be going on for the depositions. Then on Tuesday we go back in and give our depositions. Since it is in Ft. Worth, our plans are to stay the night, and possibly go out to eat or something in celebration of Jim's birthday... and who knows... we maybe also celebrating the nightmare of this wreck stuff to finally be coming close to an end... and it coming out in our favor in a very huge way!!!
It is a bit nerve racking, thus I have not talked about it much. I just felt until we are close enough to possibly know when we will know the outcome. So keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as Monday and Tuesday are very significant for us in regard to possibly getting favorable results from the law suit.
I shall put on more tomorrow... as I get some of my other
chores out of my face...
Hugs, Rhia and by the way.. once and again, thank you my dear friend for taking a moment to post here :)
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Trying to find My Way Back - to What A "Normal" Autoimmune Diseased Life Should Be...
I began this as a post on Facebook early this morning, Sept. 2, 2014. Yet, after writing on it for about a half hour or more, getting up to check on the dog, and my head pounding... it dawned on me, "Get your other stuff caught up... i.e. make some sugar free jello, make the chocolate fudge cake for the weekend, getting the "stuffed peppers" I bought the stuff to make on the day when it was supposed to be cooling down; thus this morning seemed to be the best morning. I had thought about going out to wash my car. I thought if I did maybe rather than continue to "test" and tease us, it would actually rain. Well, so far I was wrong, as it all has done lately. It seems the weather has made many of us hurt terribly. Physicians (some physicians) want to tell us we are full of bull when we say that the "weather" doesn't effect our lives as far as our pain, joints, headaches, and so forth. I know beyond a doubt that from the barometric pressure, to "cool fronts', the humidity, rain, sleet, snow, thunderstorms, you name it, many will more definitely have an effect on chronic pain illnesses, joint issues, and many of the "2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on, disease that follow right along with the primary diagnosis. I had been concerned lately over "Shingles". I have seen way too many of my online friends, as well as close kin folks and friend that have had a breakout of shingles. I found articles stating people that have never had them, have well over 2 to 1 (50%) chance of having shingles if you have an autoimmune illness. I've been concerned over my illnesses because I feel I can't quite find a place of "remission" in any of them. I am on the medications, I am trying to do everything I can correctly, rest, eat well (ah, that one is hard with the teeth issues I have) This next paragraph or paragraphs if you would like to say below are what I began on Facebook. I copied what I had already typed on and then decided I am going to "stick" to my word. I am going to post the bulk of the post here, then just put a small snippet in FB, with a link back to it here in my Blog. Blogger has made some changes, some good, giving you more options and other than just add chaos & confusion. I was hoping FM would slow down a bit and give people time to catch up. Sure many of us are "hooked" on line 24/7/365. But, all too often we don't have time to sit around and figure out the "new" things on FB, Blogger, and the numerous other sites we "belong" to. It reminds me of all of the stores I frequent here in my home town. About the time you learn how to use your markets check out debit system, they bring in one that is "better, bigger, more secure" and also confuses the hell out of me. Then you run over to your pharmacy, same thing, now they handle the entire way you check out totally different. Now try to go shopping two or three department stores! Everyone one of them, either has a new "card" for you to sign up and and get 20% discount. Yes, the first time, and then after that, all you get an email box full of junk from them daily. Then they have all of these mark-downs with an "extra 20% off" at the register, and you either have your calculator out, they might be nice and have a "chart" up on the rack telling you what the cost will be after the "extra" is taken off at the register. Anyway, when you are already dealing in trying to keep your sanity with a brain fog that seems to only be getting worse each week; the lists that have now become the lists of lists you need to take care of and LORD forbid I not forget something for someone, a doctors appointment, or even something as trivial as getting "change for the coke machine, or picking up a drink, some kind of soda that if I don't, no one else would think about how thirsty I get when I am having to drive anywhere, and in fact I cannot walk through a huge store like a Wally World's, unless I stop by a front counter and pick up a drink to sip on while I shop.
I've been telling this now for awhile to my family and friends. Not only had my physical issues change, I seem to have slowed down to a crawl at times. My brain cannot function, I feel it takes me forever to get ready, then I look down and there is always something else that needed to be done, or I forgot to put on "the list" .... heck even times I do well to remember the name of a room, or the name of what is in that room! Store names, my own phone number, it seems that may "brain fog" add
I thought I would post this on FB at first, then changed my mind. I is a combination of several days posts, I began days ago. I changed my mind and want to put it here first, then really tell about these feelings I have on my blog; then share them that way. I will put this on my blog, but it has been on my mind now since I went to Winstar last weekend with my Mom. As most of you know, due to all of my extensive sharing, I LOST ALL of my Teeth to Sjögren's within a year. It sounds almost impossible, and I know from everything I've read and been told, that they "damage" that could not been seen probably had been going on since I was first diagnosed with Lupus, Sjögren's, Raynauds, RA... and who knows what else. That was back in about 2009-10 when the very first real "blood work" was done, and the doctor took ALL of my years of symptoms seriously to put them together. When he did, I was sent immediately to a Rheumatologist. This gentleman, a Rheumatologist no doubt for many, many years, still even used "gold injections" on occasion on patients. But, he was far from a dummy, and further he end around the corner there in his office to have blood drawn, urine and he did even a more extensive workup on me. But even that first day, just by an examination of my toes, fingers, wrists, thumbs, feet... he "felt" and the saw the damage. He also saw that I had Raynaud's immediately, and I had an "hyper-extension of many of my joints, almost like being double jointed. Even after that first visit, I was so upset that it had probably been going on for years and years.. my Xrays showed my toes and finger joints being bad already, so none of this happened over night, and not one doctor until my new PCP at the time, could ever put ALL of my symptoms together. It was somewhat almost a relief, yet it also very scary also, No telling what had really come of "damage" not detected since it might have been years this was going on, yet no one could explain the severe migraines, the extreme tiredness, the not being able to "multi-task" as I once could, having just about every joint either already been injected or had surgery or even been totally replaced before the age of 50! No one could truly explain how someone, like myself, a very fit woman, (walked, ate properly, exercised daily, kept my weight down, and yet I had a heart attack at 40 years old and another at 50! Nothing made sense, yet no doctor could put it all together either.. what made my new PCP at the time think "autoimmune issues" I don't know... Maybe a conversation I had with him about me thinking I had "Lupus". Anyway something finally "clicked"... thus here I am today, far into the realms of autoimmune illnesses... and the latest issues the Sjögren's... so here I am now 54 (since Feb 15th) ! battling a battle I thought I would never have... losing my teeth and having dentures... and won't hold until the "mini implants can go in, which will be another 60 days or more. I am not going to lie They are a pain in the butt, or mouth I guess. They seem odd, too much "junk" in your mouth, a pain to have to clean, then put in each morning, then have to brush them, clean my mouth and put them in, then out they come at night... you cannot sleep in them. And eating in them for now is almost impossible. Even my "bite" pattern is completely different, which I am thrilled about, because they are "pretty and I wanted pretty teeth all my life, just never realized they would have to be "fake" and not my real ones. But, I honestly felt like once I got these new teeth in they would "fill in" where I had lost many teeth, which in turn would fill out my lips more, my bottom cheeks and lines around my mouth. I was hoping to "see" a bit different maybe even more youthful (by a few years) me.... but guess what? Nope.... did not make that change nearly as much as that as I had so hoped it would. I just was so disappointed, because I did not realize with the scars from the accident years ago, and the two small scars from my fall right around my mouth. I keep thinking, well, like any other woman, there has to be a way to "tighten" up that skin, or "bleach" out those darkened scars. I even went so far as to begin looking today and am going to research some of these new facial creams out on the market to see which ones really work, and which ones charge a fortune, yet do nothing. I come more and more to realize I must take even better care of my skin. I have always pretty well used the proper things on my face and skin, lotions, I always take my makeup off at night, allow my skin to breathe and so forth. But, I pray quitting smoking will also reduce some of those lines around mouth. I see elderly women who probably smoked all their lives, and they have all of these deep seeded wrinkles around their mouth, and I always said I never wanted to do look that. But, dammit, when the teeth are out, I somewhat do and it upsets and embarrasses me to have anyone see what it truly looks like. I know we all age, some of us more gracefully than others... and depending on how well we have taken care of our bodies, minds and spirits makes a huge difference in the way you look as you age.
So does having these illnesses like Lupus, RA, Sjogren's age us faster? In all ways, in some ways.... what do you think????? I want to know how you feel about the subject and how many of you really take great care of the hair, skin, nails, including your face? If so, how and do you feel it is making a difference??
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Arthritis Foundatiion Jingle Bell Run in TX and Many Surrounding Communities In December!!!
The one closest to me is in Ft. Worth! I would love to see one of the girls I made friends with in DC while I was there in March!!!! Here is the URL and all of the information.... Please come and join or give your donations....:)
Ft. Worth's appears to be on December 6th
Ft. Worth's appears to be on December 6th
http://fortworthjinglebellrun.kintera.org/faf/home/default.asp?ievent=1112128 |
http://www.arthritis.org/programs-events/jingle-bell-run/
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Catching Up!!!!
There is a great deal for me to "catch up" on as far as the blog. Many of you also read Facebook, and I had posted a bit there, but I want to try and post here, then put a link to it on FB all the time.
I finally have my teeth completely gone, and a set of beautiful teeth, like I have wanted since I was 15 years old! They are "fake", BUT hey they are beautiful. So, always as they say, watch what you ask for. :)
I will be about 90 days out before the "mini implants" go in and the dentures are modified to go on those. Thus instead of the bottom one especially wanting to come out, they will stay in place, not rub sores on my mouth etc. Don't get me wrong I love them like this! I can finally smile!
Jim is slowly improving. We are having all kinds of heck getting him a couple of the doctors he needs that will take the "insurance" he is on. As far as the "wreck" it is in "litigation" I guess, well heading that way, with both of us giving depositions a couple of weeks from now... and then it is just depending on the other parties involved how long before any type of decision is brought to us... So, we shall wait and see... I DO KNOW that a couple of the parties involved have NOT cooperated AT ALL! To not one certified letter, to no visits, to nothing, and I am not sure they have even said they will come to their deposition times. So, again just a waiting game.
I have been so thrilled with all of the things going on in Arthritis.org! I have been taking all of the classes to be an "Ambassador", and the last one is next month! That is when we are told we are "accepted" or not, and also if there is anyone who qualified for the "Platinum Ambassador" title. So, between emailing my Congressmen, going to a Town Hall meeting yesterday in fact, and so many things I have done to help the cause.... and made some incredible "friends" and met some awesome people along the way.
I have a couple of other projects I am working on, trying to clear my schedule, so I can get back to what I know and love, besides advocacy... my blog and writing.
I will definitely try and get back tomorrow, post more, and give you more information... we have an exciting election coming up and much of this that is involved is for "We" the people, thus we need "The People" to get up, go down to where you cast a ballot and VOTE! Griping about it, making small or large talk about it won't fix it... it has to be YOU AND I... all of us getting Congress, Senate, House and the President and Chief of Staff, along with ALL of those that are in politics and are supposed to be representing us! So, get ready, because that is going to be my mantra for the rest of the next coming months!!! GET UP, GET to the VOTING place, CAST YOUR BALLOT - called VOTING! Believe me even though we may not think so, OUR VOTES DO MATTER!! WHETHER ONE OR MANY, THEY DO COUNT!!!
I finally have my teeth completely gone, and a set of beautiful teeth, like I have wanted since I was 15 years old! They are "fake", BUT hey they are beautiful. So, always as they say, watch what you ask for. :)
I will be about 90 days out before the "mini implants" go in and the dentures are modified to go on those. Thus instead of the bottom one especially wanting to come out, they will stay in place, not rub sores on my mouth etc. Don't get me wrong I love them like this! I can finally smile!
Jim is slowly improving. We are having all kinds of heck getting him a couple of the doctors he needs that will take the "insurance" he is on. As far as the "wreck" it is in "litigation" I guess, well heading that way, with both of us giving depositions a couple of weeks from now... and then it is just depending on the other parties involved how long before any type of decision is brought to us... So, we shall wait and see... I DO KNOW that a couple of the parties involved have NOT cooperated AT ALL! To not one certified letter, to no visits, to nothing, and I am not sure they have even said they will come to their deposition times. So, again just a waiting game.
I have been so thrilled with all of the things going on in Arthritis.org! I have been taking all of the classes to be an "Ambassador", and the last one is next month! That is when we are told we are "accepted" or not, and also if there is anyone who qualified for the "Platinum Ambassador" title. So, between emailing my Congressmen, going to a Town Hall meeting yesterday in fact, and so many things I have done to help the cause.... and made some incredible "friends" and met some awesome people along the way.
I have a couple of other projects I am working on, trying to clear my schedule, so I can get back to what I know and love, besides advocacy... my blog and writing.
I will definitely try and get back tomorrow, post more, and give you more information... we have an exciting election coming up and much of this that is involved is for "We" the people, thus we need "The People" to get up, go down to where you cast a ballot and VOTE! Griping about it, making small or large talk about it won't fix it... it has to be YOU AND I... all of us getting Congress, Senate, House and the President and Chief of Staff, along with ALL of those that are in politics and are supposed to be representing us! So, get ready, because that is going to be my mantra for the rest of the next coming months!!! GET UP, GET to the VOTING place, CAST YOUR BALLOT - called VOTING! Believe me even though we may not think so, OUR VOTES DO MATTER!! WHETHER ONE OR MANY, THEY DO COUNT!!!
Friday, August 29, 2014
WEGO Monthly Book Giveaway! I was one of the winners!!!
Please take a look! I was one of the lucky winners this month in WEGO's Question/Answer Book Give Away!
I am totally thrilled!
Can't wait to get it!
Rhia
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I really have SO MUCH to try & catch up here on, so I am going ton"Post"n some of my ongoing chronic health issues, things abo...
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How can our kids feel safe when WE as adults don't???? I fear Wal-Mart or just walking across the parking lot at HEB in my small lo...
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I finally made a trip to Urgent Care with what I feel is a very bad Lupus and RA flare, but there are several "symptoms" strange t...