Celebrating My Mom's Life on Her Birthday that would have been on August 28th... and Life..,

Well since the weather is not looking good for our area nor the Casinio's area for tomorrow and Monday, and I don't cherish driving in Dallas, through Denton with GOOD weather, so much road construction last time I was through there, plus Mom's Birthday would be August 28th, SO in order to celebrate for her as I said in my earlier post, I switched to go that day on her birthday! 

I think she would be or is "thrilled" that I go and have all of those good memories of us going and coming back from Winstar. So, I do look forward to reminiscing about our trips... that was the ONE thing Mom did enjoy doing... So, I am off to try and get some painting done... I am still not feeling like "myself"...I can't explain it, but I just feel like I am having issues with that vertigo mess, and I notice if I bend over, then stand up my head feels "full" so maybe even the allergies and sinus stuff with the weather as it is... but the plants and grass and trees are so happy! 

They just need A GREAT DEAL more rain BUT SLOWLY... so I wish all a good weekend, I am going to try and get a few things done over at house#2.... and talking about that... I bought those 2 "mini rose bushes" lst week at HEB. They had them marked for $1.99 each... which they are usually at least 5.99.... so I wondered what the deal was... they all "looked" great.. but within 2 days of taking them home, the lilac colored one appeared to just have "died"... and the white/yellow colored one does not look much better. I even re-potted them thinking it is because they don't have proper soil. But, I am so mad at HEB - I BET they KNOW something is "wrong" with them, so they marked them down to get them out of the store, and then we buy them and they die... I have two others from there from a couple of years ago, and they are blooming right now... so I know something had to be wrong for them to mark them that cheaply and then one just die within 2 days... also I bought a packet of "French Onion Dip" mix... like McCormick's I think that same day. 

Well, I started to open it after I got home to make some, and the entire packet is just hard as a brick, like the stuff is old. Well, I found a tiny tear in the packet, so I am sure that ruined it... but how can they NOT find these things out... I am willing to bet a box of them got "nicked" when they were putting them on the shelves... I've seen them do it before... and now I have to take that back... another warning, DO NOT BUY paint brushes from Wally World! They stopped carrying the "Purdy" brand which we bought over 10 years ago, and the brushes are still in fair shape... but I felt I needed 2 new ones, and I bought them at Wally World, and they were not "cheap" - just about as much as a paint store with a sale... so I used one of them, and began to find bristles coming out in my paint dammit. I hate that... as old as my other ones are, never have I saw one bristle come out in my paint... 

so the other ones I bought from there I am taking back and telling them they are pricing them at well over 10.00 and they are worth about 2.00 if that much... LOL!!!!! I HATE having to take stuff back, especially when it is something that is "their fault"... it is a pain in the butt, and takes up MY TIME having to go back and get a refund...anyway, I got my "good brushes" and some paint yesterday that was on sale.., so I am back in business.... I will take more pics as the rooms begin to come together....

Always Looking for the Sunny Days even though the Cloudiness and Fog hang Around... dealing with symptoms...

Okay, well I've missed out a couple of days dammit with this stomach mess. Not sure what is gong on. But, I do KNOW I am SICK of it! I am a bit better today so far. I've tried to not drink or eat anything I think might be causing it so badly. The vertigo just has to run its course usually then gets better. What I am concerned about, is why this time it is so bad, and why the meds I take for it are not calming it down as usual. I am still doing some research myself and I am sure since I am honestly WAY OVER DUE for A scope to check out my esophagus and stomach, that will probably be where I am headed. I know I have Barrett's Esophagus. I really should have had it scoped again over a year or more ago. But, with everything else, I keep having to postpone it. Now with all of the problems I have, I am concerned if the dysplasia, where my actual stomach lining grows out of the stomach and into the bottom part of the esophagus, and can cause cancer. But, I just dread any other "surgeries" etc> I am so literally sick of doctors, medications, insurance, pharmacies, no one can get their crap together. I've had an ulcer before thus one of the reasons I am on Nexium, plus of course GERD. but even the Meclazine I take for nausea and the motion vertigo. It just seems what ever is going on, still to me is totally separate from the Lupus, Sjogrens and RA. One good piece of news! MY ORENCIA FINALLY CAME IN today! After being off of it for at least three weeks, I feel may have some to do with how I've felt this past couple of weeks. When you begin to research Lupus, Sjogren's, RA, FM, ME CFS. and any and all of the other AI illnesses from MS to Diabetes 1, there can be a million symptoms, all of them similar, and they may or may not have to do with the autoimmune illnesses. Of course the problem I can already tell from that is patients (meaning us) and our doctors, whether PCP, Rheumatologists, or other specialists, tend to get "lackadaisy" and "automatically" no pun intended blame it on Lupus, RA, and so forth. So, each time a new "symptom" arises, all too often I feel it is kind of "'blown off" as to whether there is something "new" causing the new symptoms, or is it indeed the AI's. I realize that is is very difficult, and in some cases probably almost impossible to defer one from the other. Even with many types of tests, lab work, studies, and so on, still there may not be an "answer" other than due to one of the AI. That is scary though. What if, and I am just "saying" what if myself, or anyone with stomach issues and the nausea, vertigo and so forth left it unchecked, and went on either with the doctor knowing or just figuring on our own, it was "just the AI" and more symptoms, and it was something worse? What if it were stomach cancer, or some type of other cancer such as leukemia, or the GERD had really done a number on my esophagus and that dysplasia is much worse than it was. Or what if it is yet another autoimmune illness, or any number of other chronic diseases that can start out with the exact same types of symptoms. So, even though none of us want to jump the gun per se', running off to our doctors each time one little thing pops up or changes, plus we are all in the place that, oh well, they will blame it on the Lupus anyway, yet something else that may need other treatment, surgery etc done. A great for instance was my double hernia's early last year. I was told by three different doctors those "lumps" were nothing to be concerned about, and they more than likely were not hernia's. Then I still feel uneasy, so I go to a surgeon, who sure enough says right off it is not just one hernia, but I had two... one on each side...So, had I listened to those first 2 or 3 medical doctors who just seemed to not want to really find out for sure, they blew me off. Then I do find out I have hernia's just as I had suspected all along. We for the most part, have a "gut" feeling, again no pun intended, about our bodies. For those of us with chronic illnesses, we especially tend to watch out like a hawk for any type of new symptom, or something that seems to be "off" and not quite right. Yet, often times I know for myself, I go into the physician's office, and I just feel like if I am going to get the same old answer, it is the "Lupus", "RA" etc... then why... and if it isn't or they feel it may not be, then here goes the 50 "shades of Testing" that runs up expenses, and takes away our precious time. Even with many new tests, there still may not be any "one" answer, if one at all. I have found that even with the double vision, that started so suddenly out of no where, and has gotten to where I have it all the time, unless I wear my corrective glasses with the prisms in them, I have constant double vision. Some of you may recall the entire ordeal I went through for at least 6 to 9 months or more. I saw 2 or 3 different eye specialists, a couple of different neurologists, my Rheumy, my PCP, and in between I am sure probably someone else. I also went through exam after exam, test after test, loads of blood work and even a "biopsy" on my temporal artery. The specialist felt I had temporal arteritis, and it did make sense. But, the very treatment for it was something I was already taking, just not in as high of a dose as they use on that illness. So, I also found out the biopsy comes back all too often "inconclusive" thus I may have had it, but they didn't really get the exact YES, but it was not "negative" either. It took months and months, a couple of different pair of glasses, and just all kinds of neurological testing. One of the Neurologists said he felt I had Myasthenia Gravis which is another autoimmune disorder, and that will cause the symptoms I had and also explain where and why they were showing up at that time. Yet, still there is no one exact science about Myasthenia Gravis either. Just like MS, which I could have also, still there is one test that they can do, and again it is not always "exact"... It might be negative, and I still have MS, or I may show up positive, and be negative in reality. So, as we hold hands, together one next to the other, remember for one, you are never alone... there is someone out here, that can empathize with you, and totally understands because they are also experiencing some of the same things, whether it be illnesses, or any other number of other explanations. You can bet money on that there are one or usually many more of us with the same situation. Gosh, I can count on my hands, toes, 50 times over at the number of people who have been down almost the same road as I and the rest of us have. I've managed to feel "well enough" today to get some cleaning done, baked a lemon pound cake, did some other cleaning here there and yonder, vacuumed, and even colored my hair (of which I am not thrilled, it is way much darker than the last time I did it with the red).... but I also know it will fade out pretty quickly, and then won't be so very deep red... the color I used before came from Avon, and they quit making the product line! Plus I didn't keep the number or part of the box so I could try and match it up and I picked what I thought would be close, but it is still much deeper reddish/almost maroon than I expected.... so I hope maybe, my stomach is settling down, along with the stupid headache. I need to run errands and get to the market tomorrow, so I need all of the "wellness" I can get hold of for tomorrow. It will be one of those busy days. Anytime I head to the market and have a "list"... a long list, and then coupons, that means a longer trip that runs into hours if I have lots to stock up on and to use coupons on....

Lupus, RA, Sjogren's and Vertigo, Nausea, Odd smell and/or Taste

I've been "under the weather" for some reason the past several days. I've had a bad bout with my "Vertigo" and this one seems to be worse than some others. I've been so nauseated, I can barely get off the sofa. Everything smells "odd" to me, and even things I usually enjoy eating, now just taste off... sometimes so bad I almost am sick just smelling it cooking. I've also had a headache off and on with it, and my head just swims even to the place this time my "body" in itself does the movement ordeal again. I've researched just about everything I can, and in any way I can to try and find out some way to pin point whether this is a "stomach virus" or is it due to the RA and Lupus. along with that fact is also I've been going on three weeks without my Orencia. So, I wonder if that lapse since the pharmacy and the insurance could not get their stuff together. Hopefully tomorrow it is supposed to come in... yet as I said, I'll believe it, when it is here and I see it! It has been one red tape mess, after another trying to get all of them to get their heads out of their butts, and get things rolling. Even after they got EVERYTHING that they needed, I STILL had to CALL THEM MYSELF this morning to ensure they DO mail it out!!! It has just been a nightmare, and what is worse is I feel maybe the Orencia has not been doing such a great job.

I also have to question whether this is totally something else, and not actually Lupus/RA related. Since so many things can happen, and especially after having a compromised immune system, I never know what the heck will happen and when it won't. I just hope to find myself much better tomorrow. I've been so bad I haven't really been able to sit much here on my computer and post much. I hate leaving everyone without a fresh post daily or more than one!!! Bear with me, for I hope tomorrow shall be a better day....