My Daughter's Birthday was the 18th - Such an Awesome Daughter I have! COPING WITH LUPUS, RA PAIN IN MY RIGHT THUMB, HANDS, WRISTS, LOWER BACK NECK, HELL OVER MY ENTIRE BODY! BUT, somehow WE MUST CONTINUE ON... AS I TOLD MY PUPS THIS MORNING, I CANNOT JUST QUIT & TAKE A TIME OUT!

Amanda looked like a tiny baby doll when she was born. She was only 1 and a half inches long, and weighed a tad over 7 pounds. I wanted a girl so badly, and from the moment I knew I was expecting her, I KNEW she was a girl.

My son, who was 5 years before her, was just a little blonde (cotton headed) as they used t say, and small too. He started Kindergarten like only a week after Amanda's was born. It was amazing to have one beginning school and a brand new one at home! I've always been thrilled they were 5 years apart in so many ways. Amanda and Jason remain close and have as always. He was always the "big brother" who could watch over her, and they later in high school knew a lot of the same people, so when Jason and her left to go out on a weekend night, I knew he would watch over her.


Yet, it seems like just yesterday they induced labor with her.  I didn't have the certain "hormone" to cause me to go into labor with either of them, so they had to induce with Jason, and they just planned on it with Amanda. Now this was BEFORE the sonograms, and knowing what the baby was before it was born etc. Sonograms were only done then if they suspect problems, so with a "normal pregnancy" that was just not something they did.

My best friend from High School Carrie and I were expecting within 2 weeks of one another. They told me Amanda would be somewhere around the very last of August, and Carrie's little girl RaeAnn was supposed to be like 2 weeks BEFORE Amanda... but alas Amanda made her entrance into the world a bit early on August 18th, and much to our surprise Carrie's pregnancy went over by two weeks and RaeAnn was born right after Amanda by about 10 days or so. I can recall Carrie being frustrated that hers didn't come as expected and I had Amanda a bit early. Carrier ate enough Mexican Food to feed Ennis back then!!!!LOL!!!!!! She would eat anything Mexican 3 meals a day, every day of the year..... and I really did not have many "real cravings' BUT I could NOT STAND the smell of bacon frying or Joy Lemon Dish Soap, both made me sick to my stomach and even after I had Amanda, for a year or so, I could not stand the smell of bacon frying... and I NEVER got over the Joy dish soap.. I hate that smell even today after 31 years!!!!

I wanted to share that with all of you, and let you know I am still painting on "house #2" trying to get over there daily and paint. I have decided to "try" and move in over there in October... but that probably means me having to hire some people to help me finish up the paint, putting the fence up,  & of course the "list" can be endless...mainly finishing the inside painting and getting the floors in "decent shape" which does mean also I have to have new linoleum or something like that laid in the kitchen dining room, small bath and right at the front door entrance.

Right now there is an "industrial type" of carpet in the kitchen and dining rooms that is of course glued down, so trying to save the dining room would be a mess. The kitchen already had linoleum under it at one time, and the bathroom is tiny but I also "may" have to have some plumbing work done in the bathroom. The pipes coming into the bath through the wall to the commode are "rusty" and already leak a tiny bit. I know that even that floor at one time had been wet enough that Dad had to have it enforced when they put in a new commode years and years ago. So, I figure with what water damage might have been there and then when Mom threw a washcloth down the toliet (after she got so "bad" with the dementia) and I had to call a plumber I tried at 1st to unstop it, not knowing it was a cloth in there, but she over ran it twice at least until I finally locked it down enough she could not open that door. By then she could not even walk to the toliet and had a potty chair by the bed, but it also done damage to the hardwood flooring in the hallway by the bathroom... I am going to just do the best with it because I will have a carpet runner to go into that hallway, so it won't be that noticeable anyway... but I also think that old sink needs to go and be replumbed, plus if it CAN BE DONE, I would like to break up that old iron tub (which so many houses built around the early 50's had those iron tubs, with the porcelain over them... so that tub has lost about all of the porcelain, plus I want a shower only, that I could just step into, and have one seat in it... BUT, to break up that old tub with that small bathroom is a freaking chore!!! We did it in this house, and put my "big honkin tub/sauna/shower" in it... and I still love it, BUT hell I use the shower, and nothing else really...

I cannot sit down into the tub really or a may never be able to get out, and with it just being me now, it is really way too large for now how it is used... it really is a shame, because one of my reasons, was to use the whirlpool, sauna etc... for my joints and muscles... but by the time I have had all of the surgeries, the strength it would take me to sit down in it, then try and get back up, well I would fear being here alone, and not able to get out.... I still love that huge shower, tub BUT ALSO, IT is insane to clean... I keep it mostly clean since it is just me now, and I spray it down with the Daily Shower Cleaner, which keeps it dry, and it keeps me from having to scrub the heck out of it so often BUT, it still has to be cleaned, and it's a job....

I have to literally get into it, to be able to clean it properly, then keeping the mold and mildew out of it, I keep diluted bleach that I put around the places because certain spots if they stay wet will get to be a mess to clean.... so it takes work to keep it clean and free from lots of germs and so forth....LOL My DOGS probably enjoy bathing in it more than I do..I can put them in there, they have plenty of room, and I have my shower nozzle that I use so they kind of get a massage, then I can have them almost dryed off completely before letting them out... so that way they don't slip on the hardwood floors when they get out... they used to chase each other after a shower, and one time Tazzy accidentally fell going around a corner, because her feet were still wet and she had a hip that hurt her for weeks... so I have to dry their feet before I let them out of the bathroom...

NOW AS FOR ME........  I AM TIRED, I FEEL LIKE I AM ALWAYS RUNNING BEHIND... I HAVE MORE PINK, BLUE AND YELLOW STICKIES IN FRONT OF ME THAT I CAN EVER GET FINISHED WITH... I AM STILL TRYING TO GET OVER THAT ONE SPRAINED ANKLE... I THOUGHT IT WAS BETTER, BUT OVER THE PAST TWO DAYS, AGAIN IT SWELLS LIKE A HUGE GOOSE EGG ON THE OUTSIDE, DOWN TO MY LITTLE TOE AND UP MY LEG A LITTLE... I thought it was better.... hahahaha...

 I should KNOW BETTER!!! I NEED to have my pain pump upped, but I also need to see my Rheumatologist... neither know (well my pain doctor found out yesterday) that Mom has passed away, and that NO I am NOT OKAY, BUT I'VE NOT HAD THE TIME NOR STAMINA TO DRIVE TO DALLAS FOR DOCTORS APPTS~~!!!! While Mom was so sick half the time I "forgot" my 3 boluses a day for my pain pump SO it still has more medication in it than it would have had I been using it as I usually do.... but AFTER WATCHING THE PAIN MY MOM WAS IN.... I kind of WENT NUMB WITH MY OWN PAIN I GUESS... even when I SPRAINED BOTH ANKLES THAT SUNDAY OF HER VISITATION, I REALLY DID NOT "FEEL" THE PAIN.... but I WAS IN SUCH A SURREAL, AND SHOCKING SPOT, I JUST FELT NOTHING... MY PAIN, EVEN THOUGH I HURT LIKE HELL, SEEMED NON IMPORTANT.... Thus my reasoning for putting off my own Pain issues....

I AM BEGINNING AGAIN NOW TO KNOW I NEED SURGERY ON MY NECK, I NEED MY PAIN PUMP UPPED, AND WE NEED TO CHANGE MY RA MEDICATION OR DO SOMETHING BUT I just do NOT have the STRENGTH NOR WHAT I FEEL THE TIME... to spend on those things... like a couple of weeks ago, my Chiweenie, Bubs, broke a front nail on a front paw off below the quick... well it was MY FAULT... I always DREAD TAKING HIM TO THE VET... he usually puts up a fight, and we have had to muzzle him one time before... so I HATE HAVING TO DO THAT... so his nails get longer than most women's before I take him... and again they were way too long, and then he limped around for over a week because of one broken so far down into below the quick.... I finally took him in, and the last two times I've held him, and let the assistant just talk to him, while the Vet cut his nails, and we didn't have to muzzle him and in fact he did great.... so I was grateful and am going to try and keep it up and get them cut before they get TOO LONG!!!!



ANYWAY, LIKE NOW, MY OWN PAIN IS HORRIBLE... BETWEEN MY RIGHT HAND, THUMB, WRIST, AND THOSE JOINTS BEING IS SWOLLEN, I CAN BARELY TYPE, MY FINGERS GO NUMB NOW, THEY HURT LIKE HELL, AND THEN MY NECK SHOULDER AND LOWER BACK JUST HURT SO BADLY... IT IS ALL I CAN DO TO SIT HERE AND TYPE...


YET, as I typed in my Title, we cannot just sit down, and take a "time out" for many reasons... it is up to ME, for things to get done... whether I DO IT MYSELF or I HIRE SOMEONE... somehow all of what needs to be done, are things that have to be done, no matter the illnesses, pain and so forth....

One of the guys that was two years older than me died this past week! He was only 58 years old! By just looking at Sammy, no one would have ever suspected he had any health issues... I'm not sure exactly what happened, but my feeling is that maybe he had some type of cancer....

So, we MUST LIVE EACH DAY, EACH HOUR, AND EACH MOMENT LIKE IT IS OUR LAST!!!!!

Updates of Life, Illness, Fur Kids, and All that usually "happens" to me - I always have something "weird" going on.... so I wanted to tell everyone what's the issues for now

I can have more hell with everything! Damned, every time I walk outside, one of those red freaking wasps seems to come directly to me. Between those, and damned ants, and so forth, I feel like all I do is fight some kind of bugs in the summer time. I cannot believe I've been stung twice, and I got rid of 2 nests I found, but I know there has to be one somewhere out by my fence somewhere in the carport, or even built in one of the open spots in the fence gate.

Anyway, then a couple of days ago, I seen something odd over by my air conditioner unit (I have window units) and damned if it was not leaking in the house. Well, at 1st I know sometimes if the humidity is really bad, they will get pretty full of condensation. But, I even have "extra" holes drilled in the outside of mine and I went out, made sure they were cleaned out and nothing was stopping them up, and it was leaking even worse. I got concerned because even with a bowl under it, or a towel, it was dripping and running down the wall, and I feared it going into the wall plug and shorting everything out or worse. So, I only have that one, and a really small one room one, that I usually don't use in the bedroom. So, I knew that one "really" was not enough to keep the house all that cool, and this is already late yesterday, and I was just so pissed. So, I turned off the bigger one, turned on the small one, and put a fan in the bedroom door to pull the cool air into the living room... and then with ceiling fans on, it was "cool enough" that we made it fine, and slept without being hot. Of course this happens after it gets the hottest... not a month ago, when it was much cooler. So, I KNOW that both this larger unit here, and even the one at the other house are getting OLD... it would not surprise me if either of them go out, just because I know mine has to be getting close to 10 years old, and so is the other one.

This one already has lots of rust on it... and I know that it is going to have to be replaced. SO, I go out to WALLY WORLD this morning, thinking I may have to just buy one, and get my neighbor to help me put it in, plus the bigger one needs to be either in that bedroom window where it can keep the living room cool OR in a living room window but that means me moving a bunch of crap around to put it in one of those... so I think we paid something like 200.00 for like a 12,000BTU back then, and like 99.00 for a 5,000BTU one... DAMNED the 12,000 ones are 326.00!!!! I almost fainted.... and of course that is the only one they have right there in the store... they have LOTS more online, where I could pick... BUT I never thought until today looking at them, DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW THE PORTABLE UNITS DO IN A HOUSE? I know some people use them for like a garage but there are LOTS OF THEM ONLINE EVEN AT LOWE's and THEY CAN BE MOVED, thus I could move it if I needed to... I see you have to use a sleeve kind of like you use on a dryer vent to vent out the heat, so it comes with a "kit" to put in a window and some of them even do not have to be drained at all, they "use" the condensation.... others you can drain and so forth... lots to pick from but I would like to know if anyone has had any experience with a PORTABLE A/C BUT USING it DAILY FOR A HOUSE?  If you have, I would love to know how that works.... I mean of course once you have it set up, you would want to leave it due to venting the heat out of a window BUT if you needed to move it for some reason that would be a heck of a lot easier than a window unit...besides trying to keep a window unit clean, clear of stuff, and make it really "sealed" in is difficult to do, but it needs to be done so your air does not just leak out.... any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.... So, that is one issue... Now I have the pain for the kitchen, which the darker blue I posted I am doing the kitchen cabinets in, then I picked a much lighter blue for the walls, and thought I may use it in the bathroom since for now, I may NOT get that old tub out of there and have a shower put in...

I know to get that old iron tub that they covered in porcelin long years ago is a pain, and they have to be either sawed in pieces, or we broke this one with a sledge hammer to get it out... but it would be a big undertaking, then probably I would have to get the tiles down that are there now around the tub in order to put one of those two piece type of showers I am talking about it... so I may have to settle for the "bench" I bought already and then a really good shower head on a handle like I use now, and just try and get that tub as "clean looking" as possible. I got ALL of that rusty stain crap out of the toilet - that Lime Away took every bit of it out with a bit of letting it set and then using a "Magic Eraser" on it... I got just about every bit of it out... now I just need a new toliet seat... and the sink is yuck but I can live with it for now I guess... it is frustrating since I have my "big honkin shower/tub" that was expensive and we had to put together when it got here but that is okay... not that huge of a deal... So, I am trying to get as much painting done as I can, and then I ordered a floor "buffer" after seeing it was over 40.00 A DAY to RENT ONE, hell I bought one on Amazon for just a bit over that, for the hardwood floors... I will need it anyway, so to heck with renting one... but now today I have this "Smart Beat" Appointment at my Doctors office.

They have been trying to get me in to do it for months, but due to Mom, I've had to put it off until now... and I really DO NOT have the time to mess with it today, but decided it will "take the place" of having to go back through getting "testing" to have my neck surgery... which my surgeon would make me go back through before doing the neck surgery since it has been months since I had it all done... they may not do the Chest Xray BUT my Cardiologist can order it and the blood work, or I can have it done at Urgent care for cheaper than anywhere... anyway, so I have to do that at 2PM... and my Bub's, my Chiweenie, has nails that he totally refuses to allow me to cut, in fact at times we have to muzzle him even at the Vet, depending on his “mood"  anyway, he has one front paw that has been bothering him and it looks kind of swollen, so I figure it is those long nails either he hung that one on something, but they are awful... I know I let them go too long, but I just hate taking him because he just hates having them cut so badly.... but he is getting up older now, and he concerns me, because he just does not play and do like he used to... he will play some with the "Holy Terrier" Peanut, but Peanut is a total pest, all the time he wants "attention"... he is still on my "trial" list and I've continued to think if he does not "grow" out of some of this mess he pulls, I may have to take him back... anyway, if it is not one thing it's the other... my right ankle is still swelling up, if I am up on it for very long... and now for some odd reason it hurts... it had not really "hurt" very much, but the past 3 days all of a sudden it hurts... so I am not sure about that either... strange.... like me strange... okay, well time for me to get my butt in gear and go get this "Smart Beat crap" done... they do some additional tests on the heart and listen to the carotid arteries and so forth, since I have had heart issues... it is no charge to me... the insurance pays for it all.... so like I said I think most of it will also be what the surgeon wants done before my neck surgery... and then tomorrow I take Bub's in... but I have GOT TO GET TIME to freaking get on the painting! It seems it is something every day... I did get my new cell phone... so I am now a proud owner of an "I-Phone5" and I even broke down and bought a really nice case for it this morning.. hell I won't use have the stuff on it LOL....

To that Pearly White City.....

Again I want to come in and thank everyone for their love, prayers and support during such a very difficult time in our lives. Dad passed away 11 years ago, which seems almost impossible. In fact, it fell this year that March 27th, was Easter Sunday again, which was when he passed away. By the Lord's grace, He allowed me to take care of Mom, and be there to watch her leave this world, and pass onto where she was met with open arms by everyone who went before her. I had not told it here yet, but on that fateful Thursday morning, I went in to give Mom her "comfort" medications supplied by Hospice, as I did every few hours, and during that morning dose, I "knew" it was time. I had said that I would "know" somehow, someway, it would come to me, and it did. She seemed almost a bit more at peace in some way, yet, I could also tell she was almost "trying" to tell me. So, after giving her the medications, as I always did each morning early, I walked outside, around in the yard, just thinking, praying, and finding my own "way" also to make it through another day, and pray all I did helped her. When I came back in, I sat down beside her on her left side, and took her tiny frail hand in mine.

She never moved, and most of the time, even when giving her medications she would make a bit of noise or move a bit, so, all I knew to do, is what came to my heart. I began to sing a bit of several hymns that she loved to hear Dad sing. Of course "Pearly White City" was one that Dad always sang, and it was always requested that he sing many, many times at church, at other funerals and such, so that last chorus I began to sing of Pearly White City, this sense of calmness seemed to fill the room, and the tears flowed down my cheeks, and as I finished the last few words, Mom literally took maybe 2 breaths, and then just stopped. I sat there holding her hand, talking to her, and knowing, her pain, her confusion, and all she had endured was now gone. We are "selfish" as humans, and of course I did not want Mom to "leave", yet I could feel her within my own heart, and I knew no matter what her body was no longer able to do, she will always be with me, everywhere I go. I told others that it is almost like when I finished that song, it was Dad telling her to "come home". I want to thank everyone once again, and Joy it is so good to hear from you and your family. I truly would love to get to see all of you, it has been so very long.


Uncle Macon and Aunt Cleo were always my favorite Aunt and Uncle, and it was always a blessing to be able for them and sometimes your, your family and Mike to come also. Craig, thank you also. We have known one another since we were very young, and I appreciate your thoughts and prayers. Ron, I appreciate your prayers and condolences also, and it is funny it seems like just yesterday we were all working at EBF, or would be seeing each other in town, and although I've been back now for almost 11 years, I don't see many people, as much as I would like to. Thank you Jim and Frances, and thank you for the beautiful plant. I LOVE plants, so it will fit in very well with my collection for sure. I have to again give a huge thanks to Keever's, everyone helped me out and as always were so compassionate and caring. I thank Father John for giving the funeral service, and for all of the family and friends that stopped by on Sunday and Monday. All of you truly made this situation "easier" on our family.

We love all of you, and what a blessing it was to have my daughter Amanda and my Son In Law, Jimbo, and my two Grandsons here, plus having my son Jason with me, we even under not such great circumstances were able to have "quality time" together, and that is something we over the years have not nearly had enough of. I want to thank Family First Hospice for all of their support and comfort, for Mom and for me, as well as Physician's Choice Home Health Care, who were there to help me and Mom out for a few weeks before things had to go into "Hospice" care. I again are am so thankful and blessed. As one day, rolls into another, and as my heart is full with love, and as my mind and body try to "heal" long story, but of course I got sick, and was sick, mainly my Lupus acting up, but then I slipped on wet grass Sunday morning, and sprained BOTH ankles, the right one severely, so I am trying to take it easy for the next couple of days and allow my body to try and mend. -


Pearly White City Hymn Lyrics

There’s a holy and beautiful city
Whose builder and ruler is God;
John saw it descending from Heaven,
When Patmos, in exile, he trod;
Its high, massive wall is of jasper,
The city itself is pure gold;
And when my frail tent here is folded,
Mine eyes shall its glory behold.

Refrain

In that bright city, pearly white city,
I have a mansion, a harp, and a crown;
Now I am watching, waiting, and longing,
For the white city that’s soon coming down.

No sin is allowed in that city
And nothing defiling or mean;
No pain and no sickness can enter,
No crepe on the doorknob is seen;
Earth’s sorrows and cares are forgotten,
No tempter is there to annoy;
No parting words ever are spoken,
There’s nothing to hurt or destroy.

Refrain

No heartaches are known in that city,
No tears ever moisten the eyes;
There’s no disappointment in Heaven,
No envy and strife in the sky;
The saints are all sanctified wholly,
They live in sweet harmony there;
My heart is now set on that city,
And some day its blessings I’ll share.

Refrain

My loved ones are gathering yonder,
My friends too are passing away,
And soon I shall join their bright number,
And dwell in eternity’s day;
They’re safe now in glory with Jesus,
Their trials and battles are past.
They overcame sin and the tempter,
They’ve reached that fair city at last.

Refrain

Mom's Favorite Song

Candle In The Wind (Elton John - for Princess Dianna Tribute)

Goodbye England's rose
May you ever grow in our hearts
You were the grace that placed itself
Where lives were torn apart
You called out to our country
And you whispered to those in pain
Now you belong to heaven
And the stars spell out your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And your footsteps will always fall here
Along England's greenest hills
Your candles burned out long before
Your legend ever will

Loveliness we've lost
These empty days without your smile
This torch we'll always carry
For our nation's golden child
Even though we try
The truth brings us to tears
All our words cannot express
The joy you've brought us through the years

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And your footsteps will always fall here
Along England's greenest hills
Your candles burned out long before
Your legend ever will

Goodbye England's rose
May you ever grow in our hearts
You were the grace that placed yourself
Where lives were torn apart

Goodbye England's rose
From the country lost
Without your soul who missed the wings of your compassion
More than you will ever know

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And your footsteps will always fall here
Along England's greenest hills
Your candles burned out long before
Your legend ever will

Your footsteps will always fall here
Along England's greenest hills

Your candle burned out long before your legend ever will