"MUCH TO YOUNG TO FEEL THIS DAMNED OLD"! Ra, Lupus, Neck Surgery, Osteoporosis, joints falling apart, knee and elbow issues, and it just goes on and on....

I LOVE my home and I LOVE working on my home and in my yard, BUT it is to the point that the "working" should be more of "enjoyment" rather than feeling like it is making my Lupus and RA WORSE! I've also now "tweaked my right knee and yesterday "bumped" my left elbow that already has screws in it from about a surgery done in 1998 and it was already needing to be worked on again, but I must face the Neck surgery... so I CANCELLED my reservation for TOMORROW AT THE CASINO (as I thought about I HAVE NOT HAD ONE NIGHT AWAY AT ALL OTHER THAN BEING IN THE HOSPITAL IN OVER 16 MONTHS, AND I HAVE NOT HAD A "VACATION" SINCE MY Daughter's wedding and then a trip to Vegas in 2005!) THAT IS WAY TOO LONG TO GO AND NOT HAVE A DAMNED BREAK! I feel like all I do, is work inside the house, work outside the house, buy STUFF TO WORK ON THE HOUSE WHICH IS GETTING TOO EXPENSIVE! 

 

Then after BUYING ALL OF THIS STUFF, EVEN THOUGH ALL Rechargeable battery operated, even the lawn mower, I FEAR EVEN WALKING ACROSS MY HOUSE! IF I go outside, it seems i run the risk of fire ants, wasps, yellow jackets, bees, or having a damned accident, although I am SO CAREFUL. In fact even the BREAK OF MY HIP was inside, me stepping over a small gate i had stepped over a 100 times! 

 

So IT IS NOT LIKE I AM ON A 8 FOOT LADDER PAINTING, but stepped too HARD OFF A SMALL LADDER AND TWEAKED THE KNEE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, ON THE RIGHT SIDE ALSO, THEN YESTERDAY I HAD THE OLD WINDOW PROPPED UP IN MY OFFICE, PUTTING THE SCREEN INTO THE "STORM WINDOW" ON THE OUTSIDE OF IT, and that window (that I even propped UP MORE than the others because it is more loose and can fall, and dammit it came down on my left ARM, RIGHT AT THAT ELBOW AND THANKFULLY JUST SCRAPED DOWN, BUT STILL LEFT A "GOOSE EGG" KNOT that scared the hell out of me... THEY WENT UP ON MY HOUSE INSURANCE OVER 100.00 A YEAR! MY TAXES ARE GOING UP, The new A/C, the new saw, the stuff for ants, for wasps, for other bugs, ALL OF IT COSTS A FORTUNE, and I CANNOT PAY TO HAVE STUFF DONE! NOT THESE "smaller" daily things like hanging a new mini blind, or cutting a few small tree branches, or putting out fire ant killer... why I would be broke in a year or less, and hell I am going broke just BUYING THE CRAP I NEED! I bet I have spent over 2,500.00 AND I AM SURE MORE, ON JUST STUFF TO WORK ON THE HOUSE WITH INSIDE AND OUT, ..... it is just insane... 

 

If I MOVE INTO AN APARTMENT OR DUPLEX, THEN I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BUGS, ANTS, IF AN APPLIANCE OR WATER HEATER GOES OUT, A ROOF, THE LAWN, IF SOMETHING BREAKS THEY FIX IT! I do NOT have to have HIGH HOUSE INSURANCE OR PAY TAXES ANYMORE! I know RENT IS EXPENSIVE... BUT I CAN DO WITH A 1 BEDROOM small place and I COULD SELL THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF ALL OF THIS NEW STUFF OUT, AND NOT NEED IT ANYMORE.... I made my reservation for EASTER SUNDAY! I know that may sound BAD, BUT my kids will have plans, I know my daughter and them can't come up then from Corpus, and I may as well GO AND HAVE A RELAXING TIME FOR SUNDAY AND MONDAY BEFORE NECK SURGERY! I am just worn completely out from all of it, and I AM MUCH TO YOUNG TO FEEL THIS DAMNED OLD! AS THE SONG GOES...,

RA my Enbrel came in, Lupus flare, Neck surgery coming up, 100% flattened disc, bone spurs, and joints giving hell, along with being tired and feeling lousy.

I FINALLY GOT THOSE two mini blinds up in my living room. This time I didn't step "hard" off the step stool. Thank goodness. But, the wood in this house is so HARD it is extremely difficult to put a screw or nail into the wood! It was definitely made from some extremely hard type of wood for sure. Anyway, my neck and entire body knew that storm was coming. I've hurt for several days and day before and yesterday was really bad. I had to make myself get up and do something. 

So, I baked a Lemon Pound Cake, got those blinds hung up finally, walked Peanut for a bit several times, and forgot I was completely out of any fresh fruit, and didn't even have any of the fruit cups or canned fruit I keep usually just in case I run out of fresh and don't feel like running to the market. It was almost 3PM by the time it dawned on me, but I threw some different shoes on, went to HEB & picked up a cantaloupe, a couple of plums, a couple of Gala Apples, and a HUGE Mango! I "hoped:" the Mango and cantaloupe were both good. I was almost too tired to get them prepared, but I finally decided I would get that cantaloupe scooped out, and cut up that Mango and they are both awesome! Sometimes the fruit is very good and sometimes very BAD! I hate when I pay expensive prices for fresh fruit, and it tastes like "cardboard". 

Then I picked up a red bell pepper, some tomatoes, and a cucumber. I've been eating salads again almost every evening for with dinner. So, I decided to add a couple of things that I've not been eating lately. THEN I FORGOT to get a new head of lettuce of all things. But, I still have enough for another salad tonight if I want one, so I am good until tomorrow at least. But, by the time I got to the house, and started to take those two sacks in, I was so tired I could barely pick my feet up off the ground. I don't know if it is just all of the running to Dallas Monday to see the Orthopedic Surgeon, plus last week the drive to see my Rheumatologist up there, and today I see my Cardiologist... but I feel just drained of all of my energy.

 I was on the sofa although awake but watching "True Blood" (I REALLY got into that series) and drinking coffee. I had quit drinking coffee for a very long time. Then after it began getting warmer, then I decide to drink coffee again. Usually one cup in the morning. But, it seems to upset my stomach, and that was one reason why I quit a year or more ago. It just does not set well sometimes with my stomach. My ENBREL CAME IN YESTERDAY! It was here on the porch when I got home from getting those groceries. BUT, I am about "half in fear" of starting it. When I was at my Rheumatologist office, we were talking about me being on a couple of the other RA injectables. It dawned on me, that when I was on the last one the Orencia, that is when I suddenly developed the cellulitis in both of the tops of my thighs. One week the left one began to have the lump in it, and then about 10 days later the other side in almost the same position began to have a lump. Later that turned into going to a surgeon, who had to open that mess up, and finally he messed up so badly (THANK GOODNESS he retired about 6 months ago) that I had to go to the wound care up at Charleton Methodist for 8 weeks I believe. They had to clean those out and put that special stuff in them to get them to get rid of the infection and finally close up, but I was dealing with that for almost 6 months or more. The Orencia, I feel was "contaminated".... I developed those places within a few days after the injection, in the about location I had been injecting them... and I felt it is was much of a coincidence that they came up a few days after the injection, in the same location from where I was doing those injections. 

Now, I do my B-12 injections monthly, and never have had any issues with those. And I am even more cautious that the doctors offices, when I give myself injections. I clean them several times all around on my thighs with the alcohol preps, and make sure everything stays completely sterile, and always cover up that spot with a band-aid for 24 hours. As most of us know we "carry" strep and staph or many of us do on our skin. It is almost impossible in the world we live in not to have some type of things like that on the surface of our skin. So, cleaning it is essential so not to "PUSH" those germs under the skin. Anyway, this one is in an "injectable pen" which is much easier to deal with, but honestly it to me hurts more than using a needle like I do with my B-12. I use the allergy needles for that and I never feel a thing. So, I put it in the fridge, and decided I would go back over all of the instructions today, and I am taking a shower in just a bit, so after my shower then I will take the first dose. I had to do this one once a week. My neck is definitely "worse". 

I believe I said that last night or night before last. LOL,,, I cannot keep up with the days anymore... it is 100 percent collapsed now and 1 of the ones he worked on before "may" be needing a bit of work, plus this time even on X-rays I showed several bone spurs. He said he definitely knew I had to be in pain, plus I can barely turn my head side to side. So, we are looking at probably the "middle" of April depending on how quickly the insurance approves it. Which they had already approved it last year, then due to Mom and then my hip fractures, I could not have the neck surgery. I think I just kind of "pulled" the muscles/ligaments around my neck and below it. It is much better today, except when I step a certain way. But, it is mostly doing okay thank goodness. Hell, now my elbow on the left arm, that was bad and I had surgery to attach the tendons back onto the bones, is beginning to "pop". It needed surgery at least 4 or 5 years ago, and I just took a couple of steroid injections, and decided to put it off. It is not hurting, so that is a good thing, it is just popping when I bend it or straighten it. If it's not one joint it's the other... LOL....

Getting tired of yet another Acute Severe Pain from my Elbow to my hand for two nights - joints, nerves sick and tired of pain, surgery, and it taking over my life!

Well dammit it happened again this morning about 4AM!

 This searing, burning, tingling, pain from my elbow down into my hand and my hand seemed to be "swollen".... of course that is the elbow I had "tennis elbow" in in the late 90's about 1998 or so and had surgery. You can feel the screws etc where it was repaired. I know before it gave me problems about 8 years ago, and the diagnosis was it needed surgery again. BUT, so happened, it began to not hurt as badly, thus I avoided surgery. NOW, though I found out this has to be a "nerve" issue just as I thought. For some reason the nerve "ulnar" nerve that runs down into the elbow and then down into the wrist and hand has have a narrowing of that space it is in, or the nerve is impinged at the elbow... and it happening at night is the primary time this happens.

We usually bend our elbows at night, so that is when it entraps the nerve, causes the pain that is so severe, and the numbness and tingling... like my arm is asleep but rather than just "tingle" it burns like it is on fire and no amount of rubbing it, moving it etc helps. I got up, took everything I could take including my bolus this morning, and caught it before it was as bad as the morning before, and finally it eased enough I could sleep for a bit.

But, I know some of this has to do with the "old surgery" and that elbow beginning to wear and tear for one. due to my right shoulder, and arm after the complete reverse shoulder replacement on the right side, I use my left arm, and hand because up until now it was stronger, and I could do more with it... my right one I do well to hold a plate without me helping to hold it with my left hand etc.... so either that nerve entrapped is due to wear and tear of me having to almost overuse my left arm, or that elbow is definitely wearing down from the surgery before, and it could be a splint keeping it straight at night "might" help but as bad as it got and so quickly... dammit why could it not have happened on Sunday night?

Then I could have talked to my Orthopedic Surgeon who did my hip and actually he did the surgery on that elbow in the 1990's... so he would be familiar or have documentation about that issue. Now i don't know what to do. Do I just "wait and see" what happens? Or do I go ahead and be seen for it and what is happening? Now I was just going to be "set" to have the neck surgery, which will help with MUCH of my ongoing shoulder, arm and hand pain on both sides BUT it won't help that nerve in my elbow...

Plus I go to different doctors for the neck and shoulder replacement, than I did for the elbow issue years ago and then he repaired my hip. I thought yesterday, it was just a "fluke" thing because I've been doing so much with both arms, between yard stuff, and cleaning out that back room, putting that cabinet together, but I did use my cordless drill to screw those screws in etc... not a regular screwdriver that would definitely contribute to what is going on with this "new damned mess"... my joints SUCK, SUCK SUCK... and I am SO SICK AND TIRED OF surgeries, but I cannot live with the pain, the atrophy, the weakness, the loss of being able to type, to do MANY OF the things I love to do so much.... I am just at a loss now what to do.... and to top it off the past three days I CANNOT SEEM TO GET WARM! I know the weather is nuts and it is cold, especially with the wind, but dammit I just cannot seem to get warm, not unless I get on the sofa, sit on my butt in there with the heater going and watch TV! Well hell, I cannot waste my life away watching the television and sitting on my butt all the time.... this just sucks!



 Here is the UR: is to exactly what is going on:

http://handtoelbow.com/ulnar-nerve-compression/