WICKED MEMORY (Memories)... (New song lyrics I am working on)

WICKED MEMORY

WICKED MEMORY(MEMORIES) NOT SURE WHICH YET...

 I've had a new "some lyrics" come to my mind since yesterday... but I only have the "chorus" started.... The name of the song will be "Wicked Memories"... and something like "You left me here, but left your Wicked Memories to fill days with burning pain, even buckets of tears I've cried for you could not put our those fires, only months of rain could put out those flames... and in the blood stained nights, with your rattling chains, that squeeze my heart and bruise my soul. you left me standing, with all the doubts and fears, and a bruised & tattered heart plus a love that's grown cold..." I have MORE floating lyrics around in my head, and can kind of hear the music but this is a hard one for sure...

I watched on that fated evening you walk out that door .. just like you did a dozen times before... this time when you slammed that heavy door...yet this time your tattered picture fell and shattered glass all over the floor... pricked my fingers and made them bleed.. that when I felt the 1st pain of your Wicked Memory... my heart bound by that ball and rattlin' chains.. my days filled with your evil face.. nights haunted by that ball & rattling chains, bruising my heart with their squeeze making my fractured heart bleed.. you took everything but forgot to take your Wicked Memory. I finally fell down upon my knees... broken and bent.. Unwell to everyone it seems... impaired by thoughts of what we used to be and all that you left - that Wicked Memory.. all those buckets of tears I cried could not douse those melting flames, begging and pleading for the fires to fearlessly go away.. it took months and months of cold pouring rain, to put out the fires & stop those licking fiery flames.. As I built a coffin to put in what you left behind, on top I found a place perfect it seems, that where I'll bury your Wicked Memory.. I nailed it shut, sealing it forevermore... Under that old oak tree I buried it 6 foot under the ground., and quickly the tree was dead limbs and withered leaves, cause you wretched it with your Wicked Memory.. Now when she leaves you and she slams that hardwood door, her tattered picture crashes to the floor...shattered glass cut your fingers & pierces your cold soul, when you start to bleed finally you'll know about a wretched feeling of a Wicked Memory.. but don't come around here knocking on my door.. I don't want to hear your voice or see your face anymore... nothing you could do would make me love you anymore.. you tore my heart into pieces for that last time, as you did before.. so go cry your own tears in buckets of pain, I'll bet even months of cold pouring rain, will never put out her fiery burning flames.. and someday when you fall down upon your knees, You'll be surrounded by Her Wicked Memory...

"The Texas Blues" written and sung by me

I don't have the guitar or me playing the song but he is one I wrote back a while ago, and added to it lately... I am a bit off key LOL... plus I've had such a sore throat lately, I have a difficult time trying to sing.. after the last neck surgery, he really did a number on my vocal chords going in through the front of my neck, so I've not yet gotten my voice back as it was and may never get it back all the way....

"The Texas Blues"copyright 2010 Rhia Steele

Day 5 - WEGO Blog Writer's Challenge! "Who am I"? What makes me want to really stand up and be heard? #HAWMC

Day 5 - 

 

WEGO Blog Writer's Challenge! "Who am I"? What makes me want to really stand up and be heard? 

I've been a "passionate" and avid writer and poet since I was 13. I told people many years ago, my "heart's and life's work" was to write. That may entail poetry, short prose, and even as later in my life came, Music Lyrics and singing. I've always loved music, played the piano for years and took lessons, played the drums, (not all that good but I love it), and I always wished I could have been a good a singer as my Dad was.
When "something" hits me, whatever subject that maybe. From all of the advocacy, volunteer, and human rights issues, to diseases, and illnesses, plus chronic pain, the way I serve best is through my writing. That may be on Facebook, my blog, or through my books. Even my emails often reflect what "platform" I am on at that moment (not political for the most part).

I believe we all have a "voice". It is just that some of us, like any other talent, singing, painting, drawing, playing sports, or whatever your "best and favorite" thing is to do, we can "say" how we feel by the way we work towards those goals within those favorite realms we face.

I get upset because I find that although I "think" after one thing or the other "settles in my life" I will find MORE TIME to do THOSE THINGS I LOVE, it seems something else "holds me back" or take my attention from the exact thing I want to do.

I LOVED the trips every couple of months or so with my Mom. We had such an awesome time, heading up to just over the border of Texas to the Casino in Oklahoma, Winstar. Neither of us were or are "gamblers". Those times were more about "getting away" from it all. Bills, life, house, errands, cleaning, cooking, and all of the daily grind things we face. It was the drive and talking, the stop always at the same place for breakfast, just before we got to the Casino, and then walking into where there are NO CLOCKS, you do not know what time it is, whether it is day or night, you step into a world that totally takes your mind off the "world outside". It was watching Mom win a few bucks, or her sitting and watching me play some of the "penny games" that I loved with all of the "bonuses" and just us being together, deciding whether to play more or eat, or eat and go to the room for awhile... just her and I, off away from it all, and how much I enjoyed, watching her do the ONE THING she enjoyed in life, going and having that overnight stay away from it all, and the lights, the noise, and even going upstairs to our room and knowing she was worn out, but in a good way. 

I come back though to my writing. I "express" ALL of what I am feeling, whether good, bad or indifferent through my writing. Passion is there, love is there, frustration, being totally upset, or totally in heaven, whether feeling like I cannot go another step, or excited because I've been given another way to follow, a path to find something else around the corner.

The BEST right now is my TWO PUBLISHED BOOKS! As I work on 2 more, that I hope to finish, those two books published "before I left this world" was such an amazing thrill for me... SO, if YOU want to "know me", read my poetry, writing, my prose, my posts, my blog, and there you shall find "RHIA" - "ME'...
 

 

"I Hope You Dance" - A Song, Lyrics, & a New Hallmark Channel Special that will bring you to your knees in faith, it will give you wings, & I cannot say enough that it is a MUST to see...

It was late by the time I got to be able to watch this incredible Hallmark Special based upon the song that Lee Ann Womack brings such a warmth, light, faith, hope and love to your heart. If this song does not "touch" you in some way, I am not sure anything can...

I had been eagerly awaiting that show to come out... I had it set to record for weeks from the Hallmark Channel... but little did I know just HOW INCREDIBLE this show is, and what it brought into my heart, how much it has already changed me, my spirit, and given me pure faith, and pure hope... to know that in spite of Lupus, in spite of the Chronic Pain, in spite of ALL that obviously I was not prepared for in my life... that has happened... some I can make a change, or have another chance, and know that love is here deep within my soul, deeper into my heart, than I had felt in a long while... Life as many of my readers know, has not been kind to me... not in several years... and I "lost" and am in the midst of still grieving over more loss than anyone should have to endure....

Today I post this, for in a long time, even before I began to watch this show last night, just hearing the song again, brought "life" and "voice" and I wrote a poem, within moments... I don't want to spoil the show by telling too much, but anyone dealing with Chronic Illnesses, Lupus in particular, or has lived through a horrible accident, and one that may have left you broken up physically, plus mentally and emotionally...

or those that have suffered such a horrid loss... the loss of a child especially, to suicide, or anyone losing a close loved one suddenly... within a moment a life has been taken away.. and the mortal hell one can go through... All of these things, and so much more ... in this show... in this inspirational and motivational song..  so, "I Hope" You Dance....  (from here below until the lyrics of the song is posted, is my own words... my own heart... and just how within a moment, a few lyrics, from a song that has always been one that speaks to my heart....

"Anything in Life that is truly worth something... at times never comes "easily".... Life is a "dance"... a dance in the fires and flames... or a dance beside the ocean's waves... a shuffle across the old hardwood floor, or to glide into an open door... We can sit on the sidelines of life, and watch as everyone else "lives" that two step, waltz, or two in rhythm, or we can give in and take the chance on what we are given... and faith is always Half Full at a glance... often times we tend to ignore our 2nd chance... if I've learned anything in my time here... is to throw away the dark days and the fear... trust in yourself, and give your heart over to that gift of chance, and never forget to just .... Dance.... as I begin to watch this movie I've waited for now several weeks to come on, featuring and based upon the song by Lee Ann Womack... "I Hope You Dance"... again... here are the words, and they should move you to tears..."  - Rhia..


. "I Hope You Dance"
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those year

Lee Ann Womack singer....


Here is one link to the Hallmark website... that has the information on this, and how it touched so many, and the people that helped to make this wonderful show, you will enjoy knowing they were an integral part of this...

 More of what I wrote after watching the movie.... 

 
The "Movie" that this song is based upon, is really not just a "movie" but more about how many lives this song touched, I am still watching, but one of the women that is in this, and had this song help her through losing a job, a long term relationship..DUE TO LUPUS!, and others are telling their heart felt, personal stories... what is written above, before I posted the lyrics, is what I WROTE... myself... Music has always been a huge part of my life... is has brought me to my knees in tears, and it has helped me to climb up the jagged edges of life's mountain, to find the beauty at the top, and shout to the world, I made it... 
yet again, there are times music allowed me to slide down once again, all the way to the sands on the ocean's shores, where only footprints of my life remain... it inspires me to write, it inspires me to "feel"... and I mean "feel"... get in touch with when it hurts so badly, you think your heart is totally breaking into pieces... and there is such thing as having a "heart attack" from a broken heart... 
I had one, and then another.... and that came straight from my cardiologist's mouth... there are times, that the bottled up, mixed up, gaping wounds of my soul... are opened up to drain, bleed... so they can "scar over" much like my body has, so I can regain faith again... so if you NEVER truly "listen" and allow the music to sink in, then you may not find that passion, the strengths, the weaknesses, the elated memories, moments, and the ones you prefer to bury away...




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UE-JsPV4Sk 

The U-Tube Video about this above.....

When you are backed against a Wall - Where do you Turn? Right now I feel "Green" because of these HOLES in both thighs... sick and tired of being sick and tired.. Music, Brooks and Dunn & More...

I almost had to laugh - I come here every day just about and see the same "line" - "What do you want to talk about or what is on your mind today?" What mind? I lost that years ago..... and I am saying "How Long Gone Are You Gonna Be?" - that is my mind... and I won't be as explicit as I feel as this moment, but others have "heard" me say "bat #$@! crazy!" yes, that explains me.... to a tee... speaking of a "tee" - hell I even lost the one person that wanted to teach me to "play golf"... not that I was all that excited, but back then I was excited any time I was asked to do anything... I know some a probably wondering why all of the "lyrics"? - Guess what??? I am ONE Helluva MUSIC Lover! - You name it, from scootin' a boot, to Rap, to Blues, to the 70's, 80's, and "Classic Rock" - as long as it is not some Mozart or such, I have always loved music... most of my life, if I was not on a dance floor, then I was home dancing, as I cleaned house, or did my college work, or bought groceries, and you can take the "girl" out of the country, but you never can take the "Country" out of the girl - Ah, yes Brooks and Dunn... LOTS of reasons for them.... LOTS of awesome memories, plus they are, were and will be always the best, well there is George Strait, Kenney Chesney, & the entire entourage' of great Country musicians.... okay, well honestly, I feel like HELL, and I mean that in every way I could possibly mean, I feel like I want to throw up, die, faint, walk out the door, and never return, ah, but, try to walk even out the front door with TWO HUGE FREAKING INCISIONS in each thigh!!!! After the "lidocaine" wore off last night, not even morphine does much good.... and of course no pain pump, thus that makes it even worse..... right now, I cannot see "past" the tears, the heart break, the "lost opportunities", the times I should have LISTENED to my heart, rather than my "head" or Dad, whichever one came usually first... I have missed OUT on a great deal of "life" - and now as physically messed up as I am, some of those opportunities are never to be... shall I dance again? Well, if I can get my thighs well, yes... will I play the drums again, or the key board... I can... and probably some where down the line I will... right now NOTHING and I mean NOTHING seems "possible"... yes I did say that correctly, I feel as if every "possibility" is "Way Gone"... so, NEVER take a moment of life for granted, NEVER think next week or tomorrow.... never set in a mediocre spot in life, putting off what you SHOULD do... because within a breaths space, it can be "Way Gone"...... Here you go - You want something to truly put things in perspective:

Brooks and Dunn


"When Love Dies"
Love conquers all and someday it'll conquer you
There's nothing finer than falling all in it
When love is true
But once it goes out and breaks your heart
It still ain't history
When love dies it don't rest in peace
You can lock your doors and windows
To keep the pain at bay
Yesterday may be dead and gone
But the past wont go away
Its waiting right around every corner
With a heartache you don't need
When love dies it don't rest in peace
Oh when love dies
You cant bury those memories
Oh when love dies
It disappears but it never leaves
When love dies it don't rest in peace
How does love die then come back
A ghost rattling chains
It keeps on haunting my broken heart
Driving me insane
I hear it whisper my name in the night
Just like it still lives and breathes
When love dies it don't rest in peace
Oh when love dies
You cant bury those memories
Oh when love dies
It disappears but it never leaves
When love dies it don't rest in peace
Brooks and Dunn -


One more - my all time favorite one of their very first huge hits - then I have to muster enough moments on this computer to pay bills - and if I can get that done, then I am headed BACK to the sofa, to "Wish Upon A Star" -
"That Ain't No Way To Go"
Lipstick letters across the mirror this morning
Said, "Goodbye, baby." You left with no warning
Like a thief in the night, you ran away with my heart
I can't believe my eyes, must be a bad dream
You always said we had a good thing
You never once let on we were falling apart

That ain't no way to go. Girl, it just ain't right
Don't you think that I deserve to hear you say goodbye
That ain't no way to go. Was it all a lie
After all this time, that ain't no way to go
Getting nowhere, I'm tired of thinking
Guess I'll do a little wishful dreaming
And make a whiskey wish upon a star
Train whistle blowing down the tracks
Lonesome sound says she ain't coming back
It's such a cold blow from out of the dark
That ain't no way to go. Girl, it just ain't right
Don't you think that I deserve to hear you say goodbye
That ain't no way to go. Was it all a lie
After all this time, that ain't no way to go
Brooks and Dunn....

Hobbies - #HAWMC - Wego Writers Challenge - April 21, 2015 (this is actually a day early for Wednesday the 22nd.

Over the years I've had many different types of "hobbies". I've always been on the "creative side", thus anything with an artistic or creative flare really suits me.

I learned how to crochet and do counted cross-stitch when I was in my early teens. I love to read books. I love to do all types of flower arrangements. You never know what I may come dragging in the house! From a piece of an old log, that I used to put flowers, ribbons and greenery on. I have 3 of them. I've done Christmas themes with them. I've also done Easter themes, and even one year did a "Shamrock Green" for St. Patty's day. I usually have some type of wicker broom, weather, or even some different very straight types of limbs from trees, that I've made sure are dried, wired those together, and put all types of decor on them. I always have one of those hanging on our front door.

I have oil painted, and was told years ago, I definitely had an "eye" for it. I've played the piano since I was about 7 years old, love to just mess around on the drums, keyboard, and even "write" lyrics and come up with the music for them. Of course writing is one of my all time, best loved, hobbies. It began also when I was quite young, and has been something I've done all my life, through every winding road, on a bus headed for Seattle, a plane headed for Washington DC or Vegas, on road trips, and I've been known to "scratch" down a few words to a poem on a piece of paper or a receipt while sitting at a red light.

I have a "huge" hobby, than really probably is not really considered one. But, it began as kind of a "hobby" for me. Then out of what I felt was necessity, being into research about all types of medical problems, from medications, to illnesses, to research over so many things that effect us on a physical level, along with usually a mental level also. Thus, as a hobby it began, yet now it is not only a hobby, that I absolutely love; it has helped me attain I feel some doctors that I trust, given me direction or suggestions when I need them, and also possibly helped some of my physicians to better understand my health issues at times, more than they do. After all, doctors as a whole, are all too often swamped with other patients, calls, pharmaceutical representatives, prescriptions, and the other 1,001 things they must do in the course of a week. So, I have watched a couple of my specialists truly be almost relieved that I do "have some understanding" of my conditions, so they can then decide of a course of action to take when it comes to treating me.

I am someone who loves to bake! I just absolutely love just about everything "sweet"! So, I am almost in "hobby heaven" when I am in the kitchen preparing for some awesome new recipe, for a new pie, cake, cookies, you name it. I love doing it.

I enjoy "people watching" at times. Not to be nosy, or like I want to say anything to them etc. But at times I find it very interesting the items people buy, whether at the market, large stores like "Wally World" or shopping malls. You can truly learn a great deal about someone by what they may have in their grocery cart,  or what kind of clothing they try on in a department store. Perhaps you are out for a stroll, or you are enjoying the outdoors. It is interesting to see what people are doing when they are outside. Are they exercising, playing with their kids, just having some quiet time, listening for nature in all of its glory. No matter where you are, where you go, people can be so totally amazing to watch.

I do like doing some like gardening. I have LOADS of "house plants". If I counted, I would say at least 80, maybe more. Believe me in the winter when they all have to be brought in, our small home looks like "jungle fever" has hit it. I love to be able to take a small plant, and after a bit of love, food and care, it can grow into something so beautiful. I used to love to mow, rake, do heavier gardening types of things, but now with my health issues, some of those things I am no longer able to do as well, if at all.

I am a "giant" DIY person... (do it yourself). Nothing thrills me more than to be able to "repair something", or fix something. My Mom never ceases to be amazed at all I can "do", "fix"... repair. The DIY is "almost" as good as me saving a HUGE amount on groceries, clothes or whatever it maybe. I NEVER and I mean NEVER EVER pay or will pay full price for anything. I am an avid coupon clipper and shopper. I've saved anywhere from 24% all the way up to 85% on certain things along the way. I watch for those "clearance" markdowns, with an additional amount off, and then all of the coupons I can use also. So, for me, "saving" a great amount of off something I really need or want, is a hobby for me. The MORE I save. the happier I am. Don't get me wrong, I am not the "Queen of Coupon-o-holics. I a not one of these buy 50 newspapers, or dumpster dive for them in recycle bins, but I do get mine of out my own newspaper, and then I frequently print MANY coupons. I also NEVER only in a very rare situation pay for "shipping". I always do and about 98% of the time, I do not pay any shipping. So, that is yet another almost hobby for me.

If I sat here and gave some "foggy brain thought" a bit more, I am sure I could come up with several more things I so enjoy doing and consider them hobbies.

A piece of why I do advocacy and activist, and volunteer work, is because they are kind of a hobby to me. Yet, I don't want to sound condescending when I say that. I guess what I really mean is from my first experiences of blogging, and getting into Facebook, then later finding out how much I would love to be a "voice" for others when it comes to illnesses, pain, and even other things in life... kind of back then, were a hobby of sorts. Since then it has turned into much more than a hobby. I feel it is truly a part of my life daily.

#HAWMC

#HAWMC WEGO Health Writer's Challenge April 16th 2015 - "Life Goal" - Can you Achieve it ot possibly more than one -

The one goal that I've been working on now since I was about 15 years old, is to be an "author and writer" and have my books published.

That had been a goal that I had committed myself to, back then even as a teenager. I guess I really never gave myself a "time frame", but of course it is something that I want to do, and be able to see if what I write helps to make a difference in someones life.

Of course a "portion" of that goal I have already achieved. I had the honor to have not just one, but two of my books published in 2013. They came out about months from one another. Those were poetry and prose. And each time I hold one in my hand, I am so thrilled at the accomplishment I achieved.

Yet, the #1 goal even in the author and writers achievements, is to finally put all of my "life's journey" through the many things I have done, endured, and certainly will have a up close and personal look into my chronic illnesses and pain. I am working on that book, already have "named" it and got a "cover" for it done. I've gotten many of the chapters already completed, so I am on my way to hopefully completing this goal at the end of 2015 or early 2016. I just feel between my blogging, my activist, and advocacy role, and being an Ambassador, I am "giving of myself" exactly what I am supposed to be accomplishing. But, this book is what I hope to truly make others know for sure, they are not alone, they are not crazy, and all they experience it truly not "acceptable" as far as health goes, and we must try to move forward, to achieve victory over Chronic illnesses, such as "autoimmune diseases and others" and chronic pain.

I never fulfilled my greatest "desire" or goal that I had thought might happen very early in my life. That was to be a nurse. I also dreamed of being able to write my own songs, the lyrics, music, and sing them too. I knew a long time ago, I would never be the next "bright and shining" star of the music world, but I can dream about it.

Of course, I've had to "redo" my "course" several times when it comes to completing this 3rd book. I find myself taking on way too many other things that to me are very important. When I allow that to happen, then I have change my course, and get back on track of what I truly feel is the most important, which of course is this 3rd book. I have already decided there maybe yet another to follow it, and give more insight to things I dealt with in life.

        

#HAWMC

WEGO Health Activist Writers Challenge!

 

New Year, New Ideas and hopefully a New Me in many ways... or getting back to the Old Me one of the two...

I had basically stopped thinking about playing songs, drumming and so forth after Jim's accident. At that time we did not know if he would even be able to walk, but less play the guitar. But such as all of the other miraculous things that he continues to do as he heals... brought me to a place today... that I want us to be playing and singing, as well as writing our own music again. This song hit me as I came home from the market... I have heard it several times, and just absolutely loved everything about it... so I came in and Jim grabbed his guitar, and I grabbed a mic... and we practiced and then recorded it!!! For me I was desperately wanting to know if the dentures changed my voice as far as singing. I know at times speaking they have... and I hope for the better once they can "pin down" the bottom ones.. So below I will post the lyrics...

But I do also want to put up a picture of me I took today, along with a "Happy New Year" to everyone out there.
As we close the door on 2014, many of us close it on a year of health problems, uncertainty as far as our nation, and our world. We close it on doctors, medications and insurance companies, on pharmacies, all of the ones that have not worked to help us before the new dawn of a New Year. Many of you know the trials, tribulations, and the entire host of issues for myself and my family. Never starting on on January 2014 could you have convinced me that year would be filled with such as a entire realm of horrors, from my own illness, to Jim's nightmare of an accident, that has left us still grasping at which place we may turn as we wander through almost blindly the days and nights of what is still considered unknown. Yet, through the loss of his own use of his legs, the pain, the massive damage to his spinal cord and body, it still is healing as we know. How much more will that be after March 26th, 2015 we are not sure of... it maybe that he still has healing through years to come... or it could be that after a year has ticked by, what he has in healing will be what we must accept as the most there will ever be. Don't get me wrong, we are both extremely thankful and feel blessed he has the abilities he has now. Never did we expect he would leave the hospital walking on a cane, and using a wheelchair only when he would have to do a great deal of being up walking and on his feet. Which honestly, we have been able to avoid the wheelchair all but about maybe 3 or 4 times since he got home. Yet, the sad part of that is that he does NOT get out much. He does NOT go to the store, or get out and ride around with me during errands or even leave the house much at all. His essence of leaving the house, is usually standing on the front porch and the occasional stroll around our yard. So, for that it is saddening to see him struggle with having to almost be cooped up constantly in this tiny home of ours. Then of course we have endured the months and months and more months of my loss of all of my teeth to Sjogren's and all of the evil things it does when you least expect it. It has been a mixed journey for me... one of great disheartened days. knowing now I must find a way to adjust to dentures, which I will tell you right now is NOT an EASY FEAT!!!! IF I have learned anything from this past year, it is to NEVER ask for anything expecting to get it. YOU MAY GET IT, but NEVER in a way you imagined. I prayed all my life for "pretty teeth". Which I meant more like having the money to get braces and have my own teeth "fixed"... yet I now have "pretty teeth", but they are artificial in nature, and are hard as hell to get used to. I STILL cannot eat many things I love... from lots of fresh fruits, to some things you would never think would be difficult to eat, are almost impossible for me. I still learn something new everyday about how to maneuver around eating with the things in my mouth. Plus I still have "miles" honestly to go before they are completely finished. Health and money have kind of put a "damper" on me finishing them up. So, I am still incomplete when it comes to my new pretty teeth. Alas, as others think, and some don't think this way, but I try not to wallow around in self pity and the "why me" stuff. Yet, when it seems around every twist and turn of the day's beginning to the day's end something off the cuff happens, it makes it extremely difficult to think "positive" thoughts, and keep the light of faith and hope burning brightly...
So, I wish for everyone near and far, whether friend, neighbor, family member or stranger that 2015 brings in truth of good cheer. I wish for all to have a much healthier 2015, and may many of us go into a state of "remission" from these horrid illnesses that haunt us day and night. May we find our insurance and financial woes all the better, and may somehow, someway, new ground be broken for less cost in medications that we desperately need. May the "rich world" of corporations and big business, stop for a moment, put their greediness aside and see that we as human, and chronically ill humans need to be able to afford the often life saving medications we need. May we grow stronger in our advocacy and voices. May we find our family and friends bonds ever more full of honor and strength than ever in the past. May we find a peace in our minds and hearts that can surpass the highest comet's tail, and rain down upon us, the "reign" of a new dawn, and of a healing of souls all over and around our globe. My hopes are that men and women put down their weapons, be it guns, words, swords, and vengeful ways... may we life each other up and not strike one another down with the raw wounds that hate, greed, and jealousy all so often leave behind. My hopes are that I am able to pen the greatest book, I have ever pinned yet. May my body, soul, mind and spirit allow me to finish what I have began now for several years. Yet, always "life" somewhere gets in the way.... so my entire wish for my own personal days in 2015 are to be filled with "the voice", "the muse", the talent of writing what my heart and mind want to tell everyone... May we lift one another up tonight at midnight and wish all of this and much more for all in 2015... Rhia


Here are the Lyrics to the song that brought me so much inspiration today....

LUKE BRYAN LYRICS

"Roller Coaster"

She had a cross around her neck
And a flower in her hand
That I picked from the side of Thomas Drive
On our way to the sand
We found an old wooden chair
Still warm from the sun
Pushed it back, gave me a kiss
With Bacardi on her lips
And I was done

[Chorus:]
And we spent that week wide open
Upside down beside the ocean
I didn't know where it was goin'
Just tryin' to keep my heart on the tracks
I should've known that kind of feelin'
Would last longer than that week did
Blown away and barely breathin'
Sunday came and it was over
Now she's got me twisted
Like an old beach roller coaster

The rest of those days
Turned into long crazy nights
When the music got loud
We'd sneak away from the crowd
Under the boardwalk lights
And with all the things we said
What I just can't get past
Is the way we let it end
Now I'm wonderin' where she is
Knowin' I can't get that goodbye back

[Chorus]

She's like a song playin' over and over
In my mind, where I still hold her
I had the chance and I should've told her

When we spent that week wide open
Upside down beside the ocean
I should've known where it was goin'
Still tryin' to keep my heart on the tracks
And I should've known that kind of feelin'
Would last longer than that week did
Blown away and barely breathin'
When Sunday came and it was over
Now she's got me twisted,
Yeah, I'm still twisted
Like that old beach roller coaster

Like that old beach roller coaster

Thanks to vmh1205, Daisy Garcia, pamela, Caleb DeChand, Tyler for correcting these lyrics.

There for Me...

As any writer knows, sometimes things don't play in your mind as maybe they should be. And where inspiration comes only a true writer can see. A silly TV show that went "viral" for many seasons... and for years I never saw any of the episodes. But, this evening as I watched one of the reruns. Something spoke so deeply to me, that I could not even lay down and sleep. I had to get up and put it down on "paper"... Now some may "get the wrong impression" when they read this... it has NOTHING to do with my life now or anyone in my life now. But, it hits me from way back when... I thought fairy tales never came to an end.... So this is a "song" I heard in my head tonight... and I am compelled to post it here. I started not to, and just put it up on my blog... and it will definitely be there also... but for now, here it is:


There for Me...

When you needed me, I was there for you…
And you pleaded for me, cause you always knew…
When you would call, I could hear your words of sound…
Yet, when I called out, you were no where to be found.

We lit the sky up with love in the words…
Sounds came crashing down, as I walked towards…
To find out I was there for you…
Yet, where you were I never knew.

We took that plunge when you were so young…
Singing the songs that should never have been sung…
You turned around and saw me, and even then I knew…
You would cling to me, yet I could never cling to you.

Many nights I seemed to fly so high…
Above the moon and Earth, into to another sky…
As I turned to see the stars within your eyes…
All I could see was all those sad goodbyes…

When you needed me, I was there for you…
Tumbling down the mountain side, I bled for two…
Me and you should have never have been…
And now I feel the pain, it’s as bad as it was, way back then.


Then the darkness fell all around…
The chaotic world, yet not a single sound…
Of those words you said back then…
Did you mean them, when you said them way back when.

I came to you wanting to journey through space and time…
Make my life out, just like Cinderella in a nursery rhyme…
Yet I turned around and then I knew…
That was way back then, but you never had a clue…

The years have flown by and in those many nights of tears…
I cried out to you, yet you never feared…
You thought you and I would always be…
And even now you still try to cling to me.

When you needed me, I was there for you…
And you pleaded for me, cause you always knew.
When you would call, I could hear your words so dear…
And in those words it took me many years to fear…

That for me, never you meant to be…
What you promised, was to always cling to me…
And now in my lonely nights I silently pray…
Never tried to hate you, but I found no other way.

To get over you for so many years…
Through painful nights and all too many tears…
I fell from my own mountain top, and finally seen the end.
Of what I thought, was not even there back then.


When I needed you, you were never there for me…
I could not see the forest, for you stood as the tallest tree..
Blocking this vision, for too many years…
So what I cling to now, is what I know I fear.


Rhia Steele 12/2/2014

Welcome! I had been working on this blog trying to get blogger software up and going. It seems as if I have accomplished that for now. About Rhia? A great deal of things. I am a poet and writer at heart, including music lyrics. I am also passionate about music, including alternative, rock, blues and country. I love web design and development as a hobby, plus much more. I play the piano, keyboard, the drums and sing. I am continually looking for something new to do, guess I bore easily. I am a lover of people, and am a strong Advocate for several issues, including Domestic Violence, Violence against Women, Breast Cancer, Chronic Pain and Illness, as well as several issues about politics and government. I am 49, was born in a small town in TX, lived in CA and Seattle WA for about 7 years all together, and have a "fur-kid" my pug, named Tazz.

I will add more to this daily.