"Sharing" My Annual Christmas Letter with Each of You! - And Wishing you a Wondrous Holiday Season Despite Chronic Illness/Pain,RA,Lupus,FM, Sjogren's and More

I debated as to whether to "share" this with everyone here or not... but I feel I truly need to share "my own family, trials, tribulations, and hope that through my own "life's eyes" you can find your own "spirit" to write, email or tell your family, and extended family that "life" can sometimes be not so great, yet the "hope, faith, peace and spirit" can exist in spite of all that life decides to throw our way..... so here it is....




              ********** And Here’s A Merry Christmas Straight to You From Texas!*********


I feel as if i just completed my “Annual Christmas Letter” and once again, another year is flying by quickly. It is like with each year that passes, they seem to be shorter in length. Yet, it seems it takes me 3 times as long to accomplish anything!


Age, a subject most of us prefer not to talk about in length. Another thing is that with each birthday celebration, I feel like they come around twice a year rather than once. As I have told my son and daughter, Jason (who is 37), and Amanda (who is now 31), enjoy each moment, and savor all of the memories you can soak in, because as it used to feel when we are young, time seems to “drag” by,

Then we become adults with jobs, families, spouses, and the hectic times we live in, and time just flies by, and sometimes our memories of the good things we have seen, done, accomplished, been through, all tend to fade…

The holiday seasons always tend to bring back so many wonderful memories, of those Christmas’ when the kids were little, all of the decorating, baking, cooking, and parties that I had and went to, and how life gives us a great deal of good times, yet we tend to take them for granted. I know I have at times for sure.

Then with age, definitely comes some wisdom, and as I look back, I have had many “fulfilling” adventures, even though at the time I may not have realized it. Yet, when I think about my trips, whether vacations, with my parents, or with my own kids, or the times I took off on my own, and kind of let the wind carry me away… I always knew my “destination”… but it was always the journey to get there that made it exciting, and finally allowed to me look back and see just how “strong” (emotionally and mentally) I’ve been for the most part in my life.

So, as I try my best to “tap out” another Holiday Letter, I find myself almost as a loss for “words of true spirit” and good things from 2015. There is so much that has happened over the course of 20 plus months to my family and myself, that it will take another small “novelette” to give all of you the details of what has gone on.

The accident in 2014, that Jim, my husband was in, and the lawsuit that followed, finally came to a close the first week in November. Much to all of our surprise, it did NOT end on a “good note” for us. Basically, the jury decided it was NOT the truck driver’s fault (even though he completely ran over the back of our car and never slowed down etc.) and even though the other side tried to say our “car” was not in good shape, (they had someone say that the hood flew up while Jim was driving the car”, which I know and all of us know that did NOT happen, and never would have. My car, was in perfect condition to be on the road, and that hood was completely latched down, and did not just “suddenly” fly up. We have no way to “prove” it, but even our own lawyers tend to believe there was some “hush money”, and these “so-called” witnesses, that happened to have been outside in their yard, on a very busy I-45 coming into Dallas, and at that moment “saw” the hood open… that chances of that, you could win the lottery before that would happen. Yet, we have no way to prove that people lied on the witness stand, and I also feel there was something odd about the “jury”… I felt again, someone had been “paid” to keep their mouths shut, OR rule “no one at fault”… anyway, it left all of us devastated, more than you can even know. That accident has “wrecked” Jim’s life, especially physically, but mentally and emotionally. It totally wrecked my life, harmed my own health, and upset of course Mom, and my two children Jason and Amanda. So, due to a “truck driver” who was “on a cell phone with his brother”, and ran over the back of our car, we still basically “lost” any and all help with Jim’s medical bills, his future needs medically, he is unable to work full time due to what they now feel was more of a concussion than they first realized, he is partially paraplegic, and can walk on a cane some, but needs a wheelchair if it is a longer distance… and more than that, he moved back to Seattle 6 months ago. I am still not even sure why, other than he felt he was a “burden” on me… and that my health was suffering, and I was having to do everything, he could not cook, drive, even get down the steps by himself, and then I had Mom’s things I am doing also… thus we are still friends, and talking, keeping in touch… but whether we will ever “regain” our 13 YEARS together, 10 of those married this year in April, is still yet to be seen.

That is why partially I almost decided “not” to write this Annual Christmas Letter this year. I feel there is not a great deal of “good” that has happened to any of us over the course of 2015. In fact, Mom has not been well, and she has issues with her lumbar spine, and is getting ready to have lumbar injections in the next week or so. My internal “pain pump” also “stalled”, & I need surgery to replace it. But. 4 months ago I came down with two “lumps” one on each upper thigh, originally thought to be cellulitis. After 4 or 5 weeks of antibiotics, I was sent to a surgeon, to “incise” them, and he was NOT the doctor who should have done those procedures. I now have been going to a wound care specialist for 4 weeks in Dallas every week, so they will get well enough I can even have surgery. I also have lumbar/sacral back problems that need surgery, and without my Rheumatoid Arthritis medications, (they took me off them when I had the increase of infections with the cellulitis), so my pain level, without the pain pump, and even on oral medications do not even “touch” the horrid pain I’ve been in now for 3 or 4 months.

Mom also had some issues due to medications, and had some kidney functions problems, that they feel have been cleared up. But, she is also in pain, with her back, and the sciatic pain, but also she at 80 this year is suffering from arthritis pain several places. She had been on Celebrex, but it is the NSAIDS that caused the kidney function problems, so she cannot take any NSAIDS to help with arthritis pain. She is also on some pain medication, and we hope the epidural injections give her some relief from the back and sciatic pain.

Amanda, Jimbo, Heather, James, and Logan are doing well. I finally got to visit with them during Thanksgiving. It had been a long time since we had seen one another, so I was so thrilled that they got to come up, even though it was not long enough. Heather, their daughter will graduate this year, and already has decided to go into the Marines. She wants to be in the medical field, and feels enlisting will give her the education, the discipline and all she needs to succeed in the medical field. I am so proud of all of them. They are a wonderful wife and husband, Mom and Dad, and Amanda is an awesome daughter!

Jason has a new job, working with some electrical devices that he enjoys. So, he is doing okay. He would like to get a bit more established, and get an apartment up in the area where he is working. So, he is busy working to fulfill his goals, and he also plays guitar and sings with some of the local bands in the Dallas area. He really loves the guitar and playing. He has always been so great at that. I love music, dancing, and singing… and wished I had the talent many years ago, to do something in the music field.

But, I do write lyrics, and still practice my singing and playing the drums sometimes. I just bought a pair of boots and jeans (well waiting on the jeans to come in, I ordered them too large, so waiting on the smaller pair to come in), so I can go out and see if I can still “scoot a boot”. It has been a long time, and have not tried since both knee were replaced. So, I hope I can still love across that dance floor.

From all of us, myself, Mom, Amanda, Jason, and family… we wish you a very Happy and Merry Christmas! May the New Year 2016, bring you peace, good health, happiness, and hope. May you be blessed and overflowing with all things good!

Love you…. Pam (Rhia)

Stress Awareness Month - WEGO Health #HAWMC Writer's Challenge April 19th 2015

Definitely a great question for ALL of us that have to contend with a stressed filled, everywhere you look and feel world! Daily stress producing items are all around us. Whether you are "chronically ill or in chronic pain" or not, the news and medical world tells us that our daily stress levels are off the charts. This also means that stress effects us in so many different ways, especially when it comes to your physical and mental health.

Then you take all of that into consideration, jobs, families, travel, homes, cars, kids, and just what we see in the news daily, is enough to cause us an insurmountable bunch of stress. We have known for years that stress contributes to heart problems, it definitely effects our immune systems, allowing things that normally not make us ill, to sometimes makes us more ill than we think.

Now let's add in doctors visits, 15 or more medications a day, feeling overwhelmed already, yet due to chronic illness and the pain that comes along with it, the stress levels can be way over the top of the glass, and pouring down all around us in a puddle. Just having to deal with a drive to a doctor in Dallas, maybe two in a weeks time. Making sure all of my medications are filled properly, and with me so I don't miss any. Not feeling well some days, either with some type of "flare"; whether Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Sjogren's, and the list continues. Add those onto trying to keep a job, do errands, take care of a home, a yard, a car, buy groceries and prepare meals, do laundry, and all of the 1001 things that can pop up at any moment, to distract us from what else we are doing. Then our bodies all too often "revolt". So, now I am dealing with a huge amount of fatigue, severe headaches, my hips and lower back hurting, perhaps like last week for me, having the procedure done on Thursday - even though a "good procedure" to hopefully help reduce the horrid pain in my lower back, hips and legs, was still "stress". So I get up on Friday, with bright pink cheeks, feeling like a train had run over me, seeing everything piling up I need to do, and guess what, here is a flare. I would "assume" a Lupus flare, due to the pink hot cheeks and nose. That all too familiar "Lupus "The Wolf" Mask" we get when one of those comes on

So, I've spent over a week at doctors offices, having that procedure done, then coming home to know I am behind on everything. Now I feel lousy, the weather brings on a new set of stress on it own, and I now have a very low potassium situation they discovered last week when I had the Transforminal Epidural Steroid Injection done in my lumbar spine. My potassium was at an "dangerous" low. Most of the time at what mine was, and they even checked it twice, I probably should be getting IV Potassium to try and get it back up a bit, then follow up with pills. But, I didn't hear from my PCP even after calling at 9:00 A< Friday. So, I followed up with my Cardiologist, who immediately called in a script, told me to take two of them for two days, then one a day, and come in on next Friday so they can check the levels again.

Now, after all that being said, "How do I, did I, deal with all of the stress"? My first way to "deal" with stress is "listing" and writing down, what is "MOST" important to get done quickly, and what may be able to wait a day or two? That helps me a great deal, to literally "write down" a list, and prioritize things. Then I take stock in how I feel mentally and physically. If I am feeling very lousy, then I know I need to do absolutely what has to be done, and save others for later, when I feel better.

From there, I allow "time for me". Even though my to do list might be long, I still need to be able to either go outside, and do my walking. I enjoy baking. So, for me going into the kitchen and making a pie, cake, cookies, or whatever I feel like I might enjoy baking, I do that. There are days, that I may have to do one or two things, then sit down at the computer and write, or take an hour to watch a movie with my two pups. I also very often find if I go over to my Mom's, and just spend some times away, where I can talk, and "gripe" if I want to, Being able to express my stress is critical. If I can't write it down, or say it, or find some type of avenue to be able to "purge" some of the bad stress, then I really find myself unable to get much of anything done. I am too wrapped up in what I CAN'T, thus what I can does not come to me, when I don't just take that walk, talk to my Mom, write on my book, or post on my blog. Summer as I had mentioned in another blog post earlier in the week, tends to help. I can open up my home, and let the fresh air in, get some light streaming in, and I have a "renewed" feeling, that tends to be a great deal stress free.

Being ill with so many of these diseases, syndromes, and such do add a HUGE amount of stress in my life, but my husband, Mom, and others can "feel" that tension in the air. So, between all of us we try to keep me in check with stress. It may mean a day trip to Oklahoma and the Casino. Which in saying that, we are LONG overdue to go. It has been several months, possibly about 4 or more months since Mom and I made that 2 hour journey into "freedom" for a few hours at least.

Just a day trip away from it all, is an incredible way for me to get back to the matters at hand daily, and lead my body and brain into a new perspective.

Writing has always, and will always be one of my biggest ways, that I can "purge" out the stress, remain half sane hopefully, and try to carry on up that "mountain" always reaching out to attain a goal.

#HAWMC

"Comfort Food?" Sweet, Salty, Tart, Citrus, Beef, Chicken, Pork.. Chinese, Tex-Mex, Hometown American, French, ORA is it another? WEGO #HAWMC

#HAWMC
WEGO Health Writer's Challenge April 10, 2015

Friday and What We like for "Comfort Food?" Do I cook, bake, and make most meals at home "from scratch?" The answer is YES! I am a home grown Texas/Czech background, and my tastes very widely. Fro, made here in our town "Klobase" (usually half pork and half venison with LOTS of black pepper) stuffed into a casing and smoked in a smoker, to Poppy Seed rolls, Kolaches (sweet pastry dough with prune, cream cheese, apricot, or other types of filling put in a little "well" in the middle of the dough. Then allowed to rise and then bake. Just to name a few down home "Czech" favorites around my home town.

I've been one that LOVES to bake sweets all my life. From fudge, to "no-bake fruitcakes". From Red Velvet Cakes, to lemon custard pie, you name it I love to bake it.

I also am quite the user of a "slow cooker" or "crock pot", depending on what name you choose to call it.

So, if I had to pick a favorite that I cook, and consider "comfort food" is a bit difficult for me. I LOVE sweets so well, and usually if I am stressed or upset, the first thing I think is, cookies, pie, cake, or just about anything sweet around.

But, my home made all from scratch slow cooker low in fat, carbs and calories has to be my favorite to cook, and what I would say is my favorite "comfort food".

My chili contains very little "beef". I know that sounds nuts, but I use "ground turkey" for a large portion of the "meat". Then I usually buy a very small portion of beef, usually something like "stew meat" or a piece of a cheaper piece of beef, because I know it will definitely tenderize by the time it is ready to eat. I also for the mot part have cut down a large amount of the "tomato" base for my chili. Both my husband and I have problems with GERD, thus one of the reasons I first of all make my own chili, and enough for several meals to freeze, plus I can keep up with the calorie count in the portions making sure I put in it, what I want to taste it like when I'm through.

I also rather than so much "meat" of any kind put LOTS of different types of beans in it. Quite often I'll have some of my pinto beans in the freezer, and I use some of them in the chili But, I also pick up about 10 cans of different types of beans to go into it. I love the very dark kidney beans, and the light ones also I also use a few cans of black beans, red beans and if I don't have any of my own cooked, then I add a couple of cans of pinto beans into the mix. It varies, but usually there are on the average of 10 cans of all different types that truly give it that thickness and hardiness that chili needs. Plus I rinse all of them off to rid a great deal of the sodium in them, plus I don't want the juices in those cans to "mix" with the taste of the chili, Then I add several different types of steak sauces into it. I try to limit myself to 1 can of either tomato paste, or better a can of roasted tomatoes in it. From the couple of steak sauces, to the tiny amount of tomato, then I put some white or yellow finely chopped onion into it, a bay leaf, a good deal of chili powder (we like a lot but it is up to your preference) as far as how much to use. What I do is start out with a bit less of all of my spices. I allow the entire thing to come to a good boil in the cooker, then add more as it cooks. There is cumin it in, a bit of paprika that is more for color than taste, LOTS of black pepper, some sea salt, but I try and stay away from as much sodium as possible without ruining the flavors of the chili. Sometimes I put some chopped garlic in it, but just a tiny amount. I don't want to overpower the other spices with too much garlic.

As it cooks, if it seems to be too thick then in small amounts I add very hot water to it, then wait and watch before I add more.

My very favorite way to eat it is usually the next day, after it has cooks for 8 t0 10 hours in the slow cooker, with corn chips, mustard and a bit of grated cheese on it. If you are not familiar with "Frito Chili Pie"... probably more of a Southern/Texan sort of dish, then you are missing out for sure.

Cooking as a whole has always been another one of the ways that I tend to get rid of my stress. Once I'm in the kitchen, then my attention is completely focused on whatever I am preparing. There are many great memories surrounding me from years past when I am baking or cooking. We always had a huge dinner at my Grandparents home all the years I was growing up. Most of the cousins were about the same age, so Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and others give me that special feeling as a child of the love that was shared and prepared in that kitchen.

My Grandmother who was full Czech, took care of me the years before I went to school. So, I spent lots of time in the kitchen with her, watching, then getting old enough to help and those memories also hold a very special place in my heart. Even though she has been gone now for about 12 years, the special times in her kitchen will always remain vivid in my thoughts.


#HAWMC