Our "fur-babies" & just how critical they are many of us our Live's, chronically ill, unable to get out, or have little or no family nor friends

I realize many people in the nation and around the globe have "fur-babies"... I know there are a great deal of us that think of them, as a family member, & crucial to our daily living.

When you get a puppy, kitten, or any type of animal that you can "bond" with, that bond can be so tight that either "you" or your "Fur-kid" can be severely upset for one or the other to not be around.

I know for me, if I didn't have my two "fur-babies" I don't think I would survive with all of the health problems, loss of two other precious pups, so much pain, & the "difficulty" in life to survive all we go through.

Those with pets, know they love unconditionally, they are loyal to the "inth" degree, and they treasure YOU as much as you treasure THEM!

It even makes me upset just to have to go away for a day and night, and them not be able to go... I worry like it was another "human" family member, they are who keep me smiling when I want to "pitch life" down the drain and say to hell with all of it.

So, I "lost" two of the most precious pups of my entire life... my dearest Tazzy, my Pug that I got for a Christmas present and she was only about 7 weeks old when I could finally pick her up. She was everything to me, no matter how sick, how much pain I had, how things seemed just out of kilter, there Tazz was to make me smile... Then several years later, I decided to add a 2nd fur baby to my home. So, Bubba Gump, (Bub's as I called him) who was part "doxie" and part "chiquawa" but I didn't see much of the 2nd part in him... they called him a "Chi-weenie" but the "Chi" was not there in looks. Anyway, he also came along at about 6 weeks old, so tiny he could sit here on my desk with me. Tazz was about 6 almost 7 years old, when one morning I noticed she was "acting odd". From the time I got her, about 10 times during her entire life she would get a "seizure like" episode, and would shake, shiver, get tired, and we had to hold her, talk to her, and in 15 minutes she would usually calm down, and be fine and ready to play. One morning, she just acted like she didn't have an energy to even walk to the kitchen. I went to look for her, since she was not coming when I called her, and she was laying beside her water bowl, so weak I had to literally help her put her head up enough to get some water. I almost had a heart attack.... I went into almost the worst panic attack I had ever had, and immediately picked her up, wrapped her up and rushed to our Vet, who thank goodness is only about 3 blocks from me... they took blood work, and Tazzy, just was limp and weak... and my heart broke to see her like that... I will never, never forget that feeling I had... so the Vet said she felt like taking her home with me was the best idea and then bring her back the next morning for more tests... Well, I think the Vet and I both knew Tazz would not go to the Vet the next morning....

It's taken me a while to even try to finish and post this. I still feel the pain from such a great loss, of my two fur-babies. Those that don't have pets, may not understand the way they become a family member. When you live alone, or don't have much family, or many friends around, that one or more pet, whether it be a dog, cat, or others, are what keep you going. The days when the pain is severe or any number of symptoms arise, I can look down at Bella and Peanut, and know that I am "needed and loved unconditionally by those two small tiny fur-kids....

I wanted to get this published, but I will close this one now, and do another in a few days.

Trying to "find a new path" and Easier "lifestyle" for me, because i simply am not able to do all the stuff around my house I need to...

Lots going on, and much of it to do with my house, the lease on my car, and trying to "cut down" on my stress level, on my expenses, and get myself where I can spend more of my time doing the things I want to do, rather than drive myself insane with worry over "fixing" something every week at my house, and my own health, and pouring money into it that it is getting out of hand..

I never thought I would "want to live" in an apartment agai, BUT with the ways things are, the expenses of trying to keep a house "together", painting, roofs, inside work, floors, putting walls up in the laundry room, MANY trees that either need to be cut down or trimmed, and more.., the list is endless, and I have to face the fact I can no longer, "hang ceiling fans" and stand on a ladder to paint, or buff hardwood floors, fix a dryer again that has gone out, try to "fix" what the "scam artist" made a mess of with the repair and paint "job" he was "supposed to do on the outside of my house, and again, everyday there seems to be more, that keeps me away from my writing, my blog, my advocacy work, spending time doing the things I "want" to do, rather than a never ending realm of "repairs"..... so after the holidays, I am selling my home, and moving probably closer to my daughter around the Corpus Christi area, in an apartment, where I am no longer having to do ALL OF THE UPKEEP, MAINTENANCE, AND EXPENSE OF LAWNS, AND SUCH!!!


Well Hell, Just AS I THOUGHT! The dryer had the thermostat for some reason "short out" I think by the looks of it... so it (I can see) it "burned one of the tiny connections on the heating element... the element looks "okay" but with that piece damaged, I didn't take a chance. I ordered the ENTIRE ORDEAL, thermostat, the thermo fuse, heating element, and then the wires that go onto the thermostat and heating element. This is just about what happened before. I looked it up and it was in mid 2013 that we replaced all of that before. 

Thank goodness for AMAZON and keeping up with orders. I could go back and see exactly what I ordered then and so I knew exactly what I needed!!! It does piss me off that in 4 years it has gone out again, BUT when I MOVE, if the apartment does NOT have a washer and dryer, I am leaving mine to go with the house, or selling them and will buy a new washer and dryer. I bought them 2005, or early 2006 when we first moved back to Ennis, so they have served their purpose. We did have to replace the parts before 4 years ago just like this in the dryer and then I know there was also the front "button" in the door that broke, and we replaced that, and I "think" something on the washer had also gone bad at one time and we replaced it also.,, SO ON THIS DREARY VERY COOL, RAINY CRAPPY DAY, I'VE been pulling the back off my dryer in that very TINY damned laundry room that has NO light worth a damned, so I was trying to hold the flashlight and the the damned hex screws loose from the back of the dryer, LOL..."Tis done and I've put the order in for the parts, which will come in on Friday! But, of course I may not get them early enough to put it back together until Saturday... 

I was SUPPOSED TO ONCE AGAIN GO TO THE CASINO ON SUNDAY! But, now I am not sure if I will, Bella has surgery next Wednesday bless her little heart...I had to postpone it from this past Monday, I've been under the weather with a headache, sore throat, very hoarse, and my right shoulder and elbow are about to drive me nuts. I guess I've been using it painting outside and putting down that edging that I have to use a rubber mallet to drive the stakes into the ground that hold that edging down... plus cut more tree branches down and still need many more. but today I "think" I am just about through for the day..., I got up again very, very early and didn't sleep worth a damned, and I am exhausted honestly..  it seems to be non stop worry over this house, the yard, how many trees need to either be trimmed or cut down, and I am just no longer able to do even with the "cordless" mower, weed eater, chain saw, and so on...

If my neck and shoulder specialist "knew" what I've been doing he would probably have a cow! I am really taking a chance with much of what I have been having to do myself, between the hip fractures last year in December to the 4 month ordeal getting over neck surgery this past April, along with my lower back, now the shoulder that has been replaced and that elbow on the right side just giving me hell with pain, and the weather does NOT help for sure...,

I "PROMISE" to get back TO YOU GUYS, MY READERS, AND THOSE THAT FOLLOW MY BLOG, MY NEWSPAPER, MY FACEBOOK, TWITTER AND SO FORTH... AS SOON AS I AM OUT OF THE HOUSE, IT'S SOLD, AND I AM SETTLED INTO AN APARTMENT, MY HOPES ARE THAT I CAN ONCE AGAIN FOCUS ON THE THINGS I WANT TO DO, BLOG, WRITER, BE WITH MY TWO FUR BABIES, AND SPEND MORE TIME ON MY ADVOCACY WORK!!!!

LOTS of things going on... here is just a bit of an update on some of my Ordeal! Cars, Taking care of a Home, with you are "disabled" and by yourself, warranties, doctors, lab tests and you name it!

I've not said much about what all has been going on over the past 2 weeks... I had several "decisions" I really needed to make, especially after getting "scammed" over the whole having my home painted, boards repaired and so forth, and yet he got away with MUCH MORE money than the job was worth for sure. I am in the process of filing a "civil suit" against him, but I am sure I probably won't see a dime of money, nor any more work done... so I've been doing "as much as I can" to get it finished, plus I've got trees that are still in desperate need of getting really pruned back or I fear I will lose them, and I have no 2 or 3 in a row in the back on the same fence line that have all died. One of them in the past 2 weeks or so suddenly, what I thought was just "winterizing" itself, no, a huge portion of it is dead I believe, and I am not sure what the heck is going on. There is a huge one that died and i still don't have it all down... 

right beside it, then another smaller one, plus the "neighbors" on one side of me put up a "privacy fence" and I know "why" but I will keep quiet at the moment, BUT, it was further into the "back lot" so I didn't know about it, which is fine, BUT THEY EITHER KILLED A TREE, OR SOMETHING AND IT IS ON THEIR SIDE OF THAT FENCE, BUT THE ENTIRE TREE THAT IS DEAD FELL ON MY PROPERTY ON THIS SIDE OF THE FENCE! I WAS so pissed, but the other is not much better. They built the HUGE GARAGE, that now with no rain, the "foundation" has pulled away from the ground all around it, which really does not matter to me, 

BUT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO AWAY WITH ALL OF THE JUNK, that was in the two "sheds" and i mean LOADS AND LOADS OF JUNK, they hauled away flat bed trailers full several times, yet rather than get rid of it all, HE BUILT THE GARAGE THEN STILL HAS A HUGE PILE OF NOTHING BUT JUNK BEHIND IT! Well in the first place, he was supposed to get rid of all of that, and in the 2nd I NOW SEE IT, SINCE THERE IS NO FENCE, AND THOSE OLD BUILDINGS THAT WERE KIND OF THE FENCE ARE GONE, and part of those dead trees are on his property line, so now I think that is where lots of the problems are coming from with mice, and Lord knows snakes and everything else, piled within and under all of this "stuff" that I cannot fathom to even wonder about... anyway I got "rid" of Leasing and "bought" my car permanently, a good move since the interest rate was .9% (less than 1 %)!!!! and now I don't have to worry over when this one is paid for, no more "leasing" or decisions, it's mine, and that is just how it is... 

anyway, more money than I really wanted once again to have to think about dealing with, but a good move in order to avoid either paying "out the lease" in 24 more months OR leasing again and so forth... my ceiling fan (new one) new enough I put it up I believe last summer before I fell and broke my hip... I thought it was a $6.00 part and I ordered it, replaced it, even had my son "recheck" to make sure I was correct, and THE DAMNED THING HUMS, BUT WON'T TURN THE BLADES, so I had to buy another damned ceiling fan, this time, I got it from Home Depot and got an extended warranty on it... I usually never do that, but now with my situation as it is, and I no longer can put the thing up myself, and besides they are much more expensive than the others I bought, so at least the thing is covered for 5 years or more... so if something goes out, at least it will be replaced, without me being out another load of money again.... and I didn't go to the "GI' doctor today... the weather is horrible, and we are supposed to have rain at any moment, and with it being Halloween, and terrible weather moving in, and I already am not feeling very well. In fact, I "thought" I may have "pneumonia" or some type of sinus infection or something.. This weather is really causing many people to get sick all of a sudden...

I was wearing shorts and a sleeveless top not a week ago, and yesterday it was a beautiful day, but the wind was so cool, that it makes me have problems breathing to get in that cold wind, and today, now it looks like it is going to come a flood at any moment, dreary and really cool, not as windy but the wind is also almost cold, with it cloudy like it is.... so we know TX weather, burn up one moment, in an hour be freezing... so here is my 2018 Prius C - this one happens to have everything but the "kitchen sink" in it, but I was not thrilled with the "black pearl" color.... any "darker" color cars in hot TX weather, just really suck... but it was almost less expensive than the 2016, and has a lot more things upgraded, even the rims and wheels, it has a GPS system, back up system, it tells me if I "get out of my lane" high beams that will "dim" on oncoming traffic themselves, and even has XMsirus radio I noticed, and "Gracenote"... and with that I will NOTE, I BROUGHT THE MANUALS IN FOR IT YESTERDAY, AND NO CRAP THEY ARE ABOUT ALL TOGETHER 5 INCHES THICK! It would take a "law degree" LOL, to read and understand all of the crap these cars now days do..... so I am somewhat "under the weather" but not just physically, more also emotionally and mentally, with all that has happened in the past about 4 to 6 weeks... I've been upset with myself because I've not been keeping my blog up and so forth. I never allow myself NOT to keep the blog and my newspaper current, but I've been so busy outside everyday trying to finish up as much as I can on the house, that most everything else has been on hold...

Health... Lab Work... and Issues about different doctors', tests and so forth...

Now quickly, I have "developed" a couple of "new issues" that I was NOT thrilled with from the lab work i had done before my appt yesterday. I have never had "thyroid" problems, and they have checked it every 3 months for a long time, but yesterday I do have "High above normal" on my TSH, which I think means my body is "making not enough" or it's not coming from the gland as it should. So, they did another blood test yesterday. We shall see how it comes out. 

My Grandmother and my Aunt on my Mom's side both had thyroid problems, and both took medication for many years. Then my Vitamin "D" levels were very low, which in a way does not make sense. All of the things in my diet that I eat on a regular basis "should" have it up but it's not, and that could be from the RA, Lupus, and/or medications I am on. Plus my Calcium levels are very low, which really does not make sense because i eat low fat cottage cheese, or fat free, yogurt, I use Almond Milk all of which contain lots of Calcium, plus I eat not all the time, but I do eat Sharp Cheddar Cheese when I eat cheese, and I buy the lower in fat on it also, it comes now in 2% milk fat. 

I also have lower Protein levels which again, I am not a "meat eater" but I do eat peanut butter, I made my FIRST BATCH OF MIXED NUT BUTTER OVER THE WEEKEND! It turned out awesome! It will cost me about 50% LESS to buy the nuts, and make it myself, with no added sugars, salts (if I buy unsalted nuts", plus no preservatives, and nothing in it, but NUTS! I did a mixture of Almonds, Cashews, Walnuts, Macadamia nuts, Pistachio nuts, a few pecans, Brazil Nuts, and I think one other one, but no Peanuts in this one, I eat Peanut Butter so I didn't want peanuts in the "other nut butter" as I call it. So, I will probably make both my own Peanut butter and other nut butters from now on. It's easy, and does not take but a few minutes in the food processor. I have to refrigerate it, since it has no preservatives, but I have been doing that anyway.

Then of course my Anemia is still "with me". It is still there, but as my doctor said, it seems to kind of be finally "holding steady" so rather than "set up" something else other than my B-12 injections, we are just watching it. The RA and Lupus cause that also. Then my "Parathyroid" tests were very "High" above normal. I didn't realize that they have a great deal to do with kidney functions. But, Vitamin D (which I am low on) has an effect on the "parathyroid functions" and of course Calcium and Vitamin D effect one another. 
Your body does not absorb "Calcium" as efficiently if the Vit. D is low, I believe. I knew they effect 
one another. So, I am getting a "prescription" strength Vitamin D, and he called in the Calcium also, But, I feel like insurance will not pay for the Calcium, and I remembered that Humana actually pays for like 50.00 in "over the counter" meds if I order them through their mail order service. So, I can get the Calcium through there since I have that allowance I can use to pay for anything that the insurance as far as prescription does not cover. 

He said I show "very, very mild and early" kidney function issues, but again, nothing to worry over, and probably the RA has a great deal to do with that problem. The other thing and it's been going on for a while now is that my "bracycardia" (slow heart beat) was REALLY SLOW YESTERDAY! 49 beats a minute, which is very slow. I know medication they can cause it, but it concerned me. One of my medications for my heart that is a factor in that issue also. I've cut back, way back on one of my medications, because it also causes the heart rate to be slower.
 
The "Barrett's Esophagus" he wants me to see a GI doctor! Dammit, I don't want to have to go to yet another new specialist. I am already up to my ears in specialists and I am sick and tired of having to get a new one for every little thing that comes up. When I had the endoscopy done and they found the Barrett's, my doctor just sent an order over to one of the general surgeon's and I thought that would be enough. THEN if the "Barrett's" shows signs of dysplasia or changes, THEN SEND ME to a specialist. 

Dealing with an Elderly Parent who also appears to have either Demenia or Alzheimer's when YOU are in Chronic Pain and have Chronic Illnesses.....

I took my Mom, (we have not been in almost a year due to both her and I being ill, so this was supposed to be an incredible trip!

Mom has been showing so MANY signs of either Dementia or Alzheimer's now for 2 years or so to me. Yet, the last 6 months have gotten terrible. I could write a book on just what I have been through due to her "diminishing" ability to "think, not be confused, not to almost burn the house down, to not be able to pay her bills, or even read her mail" and the list goes on and on... and remember I AM ALONE NOW, I AM CHRONICALLY ILL WITH SEVERAL AUTOIMMUNE ILLNESSES MYSELF, AND LIVE WITH HORRIBLE CHRONIC PAIN... so to have to also deal with some of these things with her some days is more than I can handle almost...

So, this is a bit about our overnight trip to the Casino at Winstar in OK....

(From Friday evening after getting home)
TOO WORN OUT, TO EXPLAIN all the HELL at the Casino the past two days, but yesterday ALL OF THE MACHINES WERE DOWN MOST OF THE DAY! TODAY MOM LOST ANOTHER credit card! I JUST HAD TO CALL ONE IN LAST WEEK SHE LOST here in town. So, today, she "discovers" she lost another one! Then she misplaced her cane about 10 TIMES at least... other than that, and HORRID nightmare traffic going especially but coming back also ROAD CONSTRUCTION EVERYWHERE!!! But, other that those things all in all, it was a GOOD TWO DAYS!!!! LOL!!! Oh and my kitchen was still standing when I got home. LOL... The pups were in the kitchen with their quilts, food, blankets, toys, water, etc... and actually I still had a house standing.... LOL!!!! More over the weekend, I am totally wiped OUT! But, I came home with only 20.00 LESS THAN what I went with... so I guess that is a good thing .....

(Today Saturday morning I continue)  .......
Those issues, and that we had not really gotten to play much at all on Thursday, (can you imagine how much money the Casino lost?) Their "main server" went down for some weird reason that does everything for all of the slot machines! In fact I sat down and played, and was going to switch machines, and it would not print me a ticket with my money on it... so then I began to notice ALL of the machines were "blinking" and people we saying the same thing I did!!!! So they really had one heck of a mess. And of course the day we decide to go of all times!!!!! I am so totally worn out today thought... Mom "lost" can her cane 5 times. Once I had to go and ask about it. And "lost and found" brought it to me, someone had turned it in... the other times "I" finally found it, once she could try and recall which machines she had been at. It was a nightmare... then when she found out her credit card was GONE... I just went nuts almost. Thank Goodness it was a "credit" card and not a debit card for her checking account. They may have been much worse. I had to get home first, find an old statement of hers, so I could even find where to call to cancel it... and then bring her information home and call them. Then she could not decide to eat at the Casino (we did not eat breakfast at first like usual) and just played thinking we would play an hour or two, then eat and leave. This was like 6:30AM or so... so by about 10AM, even I started getting hungry. The night before she would not even eat down in the Casino like we usually do. She wanted to get something and take it to the room... which was fine with me, but just weird. We went up "early" about 7:00PM to the room, and had gotten some really good fish and fries, much, much more than either of us could eat... we should have ordered just one and split it. So, I turned on the TV and was watching a movie... the next thing I know she is in the bed, with the extra blanket, already asleep by about 8:30PM or so. I could not believe it, and she never woke up at all, and usually she is up and down several times a night.. I finally decided to lay down also, so I changed and got in bed, and I woke up by 5AM on Friday and HOPED the slot machines were okay... But. I was already drinking a cup of coffee, I had made their in the room (which sucks) but I needed something... and was almost dressed by the time she was up moving, ready and packing. Like I said it was just strange everything she did. Heck, when we were going to the Casino, she sat and spent like an hour almost going back and forth through her purse. I thought maybe she lost something... but she was just "confused" I think about everything... then she kept saying we should be there already, and I said YES, if we had not been in stop and go traffic for about 35 or 40 miles or more off and on, we would have been there in about 2 hours... it took almost 3 and a half or more hours to just get there this time! Anyway, I parked and again she began going through her purse, and taking stuff in and out... and I finally asked her Mom have you forgotten something? She just said I cannot get it all organized, and then she had her "Players club card" in her hand, or lap and started saying she "lost it"... I looked down and said Mom it is right there in your lap..... anyway, I knew then it was not going to be a incredibly exciting trip... and one time about 2PM on Thursday, I told her to "SIT" and do NOT move from a certain spot... I was headed to get some tea, and go to the restroom, which was a long ways down, and then I told her I was going to try and check in to the room... so DO NOT MOVE! I get back and she is GONE! So, I thought gosh knows where the hell she is now... so I started looking, and finally spotted her rambling around, and I said WHY DID you MOVE??? She said well you were taking a long time... and I said I TOLD YOU, it is a MILE almost to walk from where we were to the HOTEL to check in! So, yes by the time I got there, got something to drink and went to the restroom it took a while, but why the hell you did not STAY where i said to... and she just looked at me... LOL! Anyway, it was okay and I had a wonderful time JUST BEING AWAY FOR A DAY OR SO AND A NIGHT, from the house, dogs, and just "Life".. BUT, I FEEL Mom will not be going back there again... if we do go to one, we may have to go to one of the smaller ones, who has already grown huge also... but she even said it, I just don't think I can go through this again, OR put YOU through all of it... and I told her Mom, it is fine, I did not mind and We BOTH needed to be away for a day and night... I told her I have my OFF days also... BUT now she really sees what I have been seeing for several years, and really bad the past 6 months... she goes to our PCP on the 22nd, and I am going to have a huge discussion with him... this is not just "old age", this is definitely more than that... I just PRAY it is not Alzheimer's.... Dementia is severe and bad enough, but the other, I watched my Grandfather go through that, and I surely do NOT want anyone to have to deal with Alzheimer's it is a horrid illness for sure..