This is an easy one. TOO MANY IRONS IN THE FIRE AND TRYING TO KEEP THEM ALL HOT AND READY TO GO!
Trying to do 100 things at once, being ALL to everyone and not able to just say ENOUGH, I NEED HELP AND I NEED A BREAK FROM THE INSANITY, THE PAIN, I NEED THE SURGERIES, AND I WANT MY LIFE BACK WHERE I CAN DO MY WRITING, MY ADVOCACY AND BE READY TO HIT WASHINGTON DC IN MARCH, FOR THE AF SUMMIT READY TO "ROAR" AT ARE "NEW" CONGRESS!
Since my Mom getting so ill so quickly, and needing my help 24/365/7, and then passing away so suddenly this past June, my life has turned into a disaster beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Being an only child made that even more difficult because it was ME and only myself to do everything. When you are already chronically ill yourself and your own "caretaker" of 13 years suddenly has walked out a year before, I was left to try and hold on taking care of her, myself, and ALL that has gone with that, and then after she passed away, I am still reeiing from "wanting to get back to having some of my life, having surgeries I need, writing and doing my advocacy work.I thought once "most was settled" just before the funeral, then just after, some type of somewhat "normal" would begin to come to fruition.
Boy, what a "slap" in the face I got, with paperwork, and all that STILL HAS TO BE DONE, even though she is no longer with us, I miss her dearly, and although I "thought" we had everything in order long ago, I found out that somehow things got "changed" that I was not made aware of. That has caused hard feelings, and those things were the very last I wanted for myself and my two grown children.
So, hopefully by "telling" this once again, and often what my writing can be for, is to "purge" some of what is stressing me so badly, and help to get my surgery on my neck done at least before the end of the year, and allow me to have back some of that normality I so need in my life.
I LOVE my Mom, and I MISS HER, but at times I am so UPSET AT HER, for "changing" things that did just what I told her it would leave harsh feelings for those left here to continue on.
