At this moment my Mother does not know just how upset I am with her.
But, I totally intend to tell her today! After she had the issues with
her stomach, and some intestinal issues, she lost some weight, because
she just would NOT eat! I mean she went for DAYS and would barely eat or
drink anything! I took Ensure over there, took everything I could think
of, suggested everything I could possibly suggest, and finally took her
to our PCP who put her on medication to "increase" her appetite, and
some new medication they are using for chronic constipation, especially
from certain medications. She has a lumbar spine issue, and had been on
NSAID's. That has been going on for months, and the pain specialist even
gave her Norco to take every 6 hours when needed. Which at first she
refused to take, until the NSAID"S caused kidney output issues, that
sent her to a Nephrologist, who took her off NSAID's (which our PCP has
already done) and cut back her Lasix some temporarily until she had a
kidney sonogram, which has been done last week, and more blood work on
Monday next week. Then she follows up with him the first week in
December. I feel things will return to normal. I feel it was the generic
Celebrex that caused the issues, and now her kidney functions should be
fine. But, he made the mistake of coming out and telling her she maybe
facing Level 4 "kidney output" which means one step away from
dialysis... I had told this before, and how I reprimanded him for even
mentioning that word to her before he even knew WHAT was causing the
problem, and before he even read the chart from our PCP etc... I was so
mad at him... but MOM will NOT ask questions, she will not speak, she
just sits there, listens, and then leaves not understanding a word...
and having 15 questions, she never asked, and expects ME to figure it
out, explain it, and then even at that she is so totally confused, she
does not even know "if" she takes her meds now, or "if" she is taking
the proper meds at the right dose. I cannot say enough that I have
explained, I have a typed out list, of what she takes, when, how much,
what it is for, and which doc prescribed it, and she still cannot get it
right... she blames the pharmacy but she goes in, takes her "bottles"
rather than calling them in BEFORE SHE GOES... and expects them to have
them ready immediately even if she has NO REFILLS! Then she gets mad
when they cannot get them okayed by the doc right then! I have talked
till I am blue in the face, and nothing goes into her thick skull. I
spend more time going over there to explain medications, that she cannot
get straight... and she will do NOTHING for herself anymore. She won't
leave the house for days and days and days, because it's cold, well it
is winter! And mu body hates cold weather, and I hurt, am stiff, without
my pain pump, with two HOLES in my legs, and I have to MAKE myself, but
I get up and move, rather than lay in bed and mope! I even had the
doctor put her on antidepressants, she is so totally depressed, and she
decided her "breathing" was not right. So, she went in to her
cardiologist, that told her the leaky valve was in such good shape now,
that she can't even "hear" the leak! She also told her the shortness of
breath, the weakness, the stiffness and pain is from having stomach
issues, losing weight and muscle too quickly, not eating, and then now
not exercising, walking, or something to improve her muscle tone,
especially in her thighs... that is why she stays cold all the time, why
she feels weak, and walks "slumped over forward"... and she just walks
now "shuffling her feet" like she is almost what I see in people with
very bad Alzheimer's.... So, Wednesday around noon or so, and had just
gotten out of the shower, and my phone rings... my hair was not even dry
yet, and she is "mad" again... she let the car sit there for well over a
week, and did not even start it and let it run, so the battery was down
AGAIN! And she was "out of everything to eat in the house"... so I told
her I would finish getting ready, bring the battery charger over, put
it on trickle charge and let it sit for a day or so, and I would take
her to the store. Well, we get in there, and all she bought was paper
towels, toliet paper and facial tissues! Barely anything to eat, but 3
pieces of "salami" she has sliced, and a small loaf of bread... and some
already made bisquits and sausage to microwave! I was the one that
really did not need much, mainly stuff to clean my dentures, BC powders,
more large bandaid's... but I bought more groceries than she did... I
bought a ham to put in the freezer, and several other food items... and
we got to the front to check out, I looked at her and said, are you now
eating paper towels? I thought you said you had nothing in the house to
eat? Well, I know what she did... she decided NOT to buy what she really
needed, because she was upset over the car not starting, and decided
she would not buy all of what she needed at the time... which was
totally stupid... here she was, did not even have to carry any of it
in... I could help her, and griped the entire time about how heavy a 2
liter coke was, and how everything is too heavy to carry in... it took
me only 5 years to finally convince her to use the reusable grocery
bags... that are so much easier, hold stuff better, with handles, and
you don't have 50 tiny plastic bags that hold nothing to try and deal
with... anyway, I had already TOLD her at least FIVE TIMES that I had
the appointment yesterday, in Duncanville, with the wound care
specialist... and even though I had some idea what they would do, as far
as debriding the abscesses... I was not totally sure, and had no clue
how long I would be there etc... I never "asked" her to go, but she knew
it was a new doctor, something I had never been through before, up in
the Dallas area... etc... so even when I left her house Wed. afternoon
again I reminded her of the appt the next day at 1PM in Duncanville... I
could tell she was NOT going to offer to go... hell she did not even
want to go to the grocery store, so I knew her not saying anything was
her way of saying I don't want to go with you... but I called her about
11:30 yesterday morning. I was leaving at noon... to tell her I was
leaving, and it maybe later that evening before I could take the charger
off the car, or even today, Friday before I would get over... well,
when I called SHE WAS STILL IN BED!!!! Again for over a week, she stays
in bed until almost NOON! She never did that before! She was always up
fairly early, may lay back down for a bit if it was too early, but she
would get up, bake, do things around the house, and so forth.. she may
sit for a time, but she was usually up and about for at least part of
the day... now all she does it stay in bed and gripe because her back
hurts so bad.. but will not take the pain meds as she can to help with
the pain, and then will admit if she "gets up and stirs" around the pain
is "better".... but yet, she was still in the bed after 11:30 in the
morning... and then had the nerve to tell me, SHE DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE
APPT. she "thought" I was going back to the "surgeon" in Waxahachie!!!!
She knew that was NOT true! I had told her when my PCP wanted me to go,
what I was going to do and see, a wound care specialist, and she had
been told numerous times it meant going to Dallas... so then I don't get
home until after 4 yesterday afternoon... so I change, say hello to
Bub's, and get things back in order and then call her to tell her, I was
not going to mess with the battery thing until today... it was late, I
was totally exhausted, and she did not need the car yesterday afternoon
anyway... and again, she said, I think I have been "out of it"... I did
not know you were going to Dallas, to this specialist... and I said YES,
you are out of it, and YOU DID KNOW, because I told you a half dozen
times, including Wednesday afternoon, again... that I had to go the next
day and be there at 1PM.. and it was in Duncanville... and then she
said something about sleeping so much, and again I told her that she is
suffering from "disuse syndrome" and that staying in the bed and NOT
DOING as her doctors have told her only makes her more weak, feel more
pain, and worse health wise and mental wise... and then she said, "well I
have nothing to do"... BULL, she is always able to find something to do
around the house, she could have been up, dressed and went with me, and
at least got out of the house, rather than sleep till noon, and then
gripe because she is cooped up, cold, and weak, and in pain.... anyway, I
just bit my tongue on the phone, but I totally intend on giving her a
good talking to today when I go over... this is totally stupid... to all
of a sudden lay down and decide to just give up and wallow around in
your own self pity... anyway, I guess I should not post this here, but I
am sick of her playing me and I spend more time messing with her stuff,
and don't think I resent it, I moved back here to "help her".., BUT not
everything... not all that she suddenly has decided she can't do... I
already do enough almost daily for her, and the rest (she even decided
it is too much trouble to go to church)... my Grandmother went to church
everyday, without fail with her sister... so going to Mass on Sunday
morning, certainly is not something she can't do anymore... that is just
an excuse... okay... well enough griping and being disgusted with her
attitude... I have my own stuff to do... I still have to try and see
about this bracket on the ceiling fan, along with a billion other things
I need to do... more later guys and gals....
More on Mom, pain, and wondering if I am LOSING MY MIND!
I saw it again yesterday... I "told her" 3 times about
blood work she needs to have done "Monday"... and when I got up to
leave, she said, I can go by myself "tomorrow" to have the blood work
done... and we had JUST discussed it was "Friday"! I turned to her ad
said, well if you think they are open on Saturday, I guess that would be
fine.. and then I said "Mom, you can't even keep up with the days of
the week, or what time it is, I am not sure you can go to have lab work
done yourself... besides I had JUST ALSO TOLD HER that I had the ORDERS
for it! Sometimes it is so frustrating also... because I just feel like I
repeat and repeat and remind, and she still just does NOT get it. I
walked in yesterday, and she was "looking" for something. I asked her
what she was looking for, and she said you know the "stuff" for... and
began to make a "circle" with her fingers... I said the "Meclazine" for
vertigo... and she said yes, and I thought I had a whole new bottle.. I
looked up and it was sitting on the kitchen cabinet... and I pointed and
said hey, there it is right there... and she said I don't recall
putting it there.... I did not know whether to feel badly, or be just
plain mad... honestly... it gets very old... very quickly, and with my
own health issues at this moment, and honestly my PAIN LEVEL EXCEEDS
"10" at this time, and it about 80!!! if that was on the chart...
everything on me hurts today... everything. and my pain meds did not
come in yesterday, which concerns me, because the nurse at my docs
office called Thursday afternoon and said she got them to the
pharmacy... and they usually get those mailed out that same day, unless
she did it very LATE in the day, as she does sometimes I think just to
be an "arse" to put it bluntly.... so hopefully they will be here today,
I will be out of the strongest ones by Monday morning, really Sunday
night.. she always does that too, knowing that they come to me from a
pharmacy in Dallas, she will cut it to the very last moment, and you
pray you don't run out before your new script arrives... it is sometimes
just frustrating... LOL... I guess I am a bit upset over everything
today.... I have SO MUCH to do, and I hurt so badly, everything I try to
do is just so difficult to contend with... my pain level has not been
this bad in a long time, but it is surely making up for it right now...
