Dealing with an Elderly Parent who also appears to have either Demenia or Alzheimer's when YOU are in Chronic Pain and have Chronic Illnesses.....

I took my Mom, (we have not been in almost a year due to both her and I being ill, so this was supposed to be an incredible trip!

Mom has been showing so MANY signs of either Dementia or Alzheimer's now for 2 years or so to me. Yet, the last 6 months have gotten terrible. I could write a book on just what I have been through due to her "diminishing" ability to "think, not be confused, not to almost burn the house down, to not be able to pay her bills, or even read her mail" and the list goes on and on... and remember I AM ALONE NOW, I AM CHRONICALLY ILL WITH SEVERAL AUTOIMMUNE ILLNESSES MYSELF, AND LIVE WITH HORRIBLE CHRONIC PAIN... so to have to also deal with some of these things with her some days is more than I can handle almost...

So, this is a bit about our overnight trip to the Casino at Winstar in OK....

(From Friday evening after getting home)
TOO WORN OUT, TO EXPLAIN all the HELL at the Casino the past two days, but yesterday ALL OF THE MACHINES WERE DOWN MOST OF THE DAY! TODAY MOM LOST ANOTHER credit card! I JUST HAD TO CALL ONE IN LAST WEEK SHE LOST here in town. So, today, she "discovers" she lost another one! Then she misplaced her cane about 10 TIMES at least... other than that, and HORRID nightmare traffic going especially but coming back also ROAD CONSTRUCTION EVERYWHERE!!! But, other that those things all in all, it was a GOOD TWO DAYS!!!! LOL!!! Oh and my kitchen was still standing when I got home. LOL... The pups were in the kitchen with their quilts, food, blankets, toys, water, etc... and actually I still had a house standing.... LOL!!!! More over the weekend, I am totally wiped OUT! But, I came home with only 20.00 LESS THAN what I went with... so I guess that is a good thing .....

(Today Saturday morning I continue)  .......
Those issues, and that we had not really gotten to play much at all on Thursday, (can you imagine how much money the Casino lost?) Their "main server" went down for some weird reason that does everything for all of the slot machines! In fact I sat down and played, and was going to switch machines, and it would not print me a ticket with my money on it... so then I began to notice ALL of the machines were "blinking" and people we saying the same thing I did!!!! So they really had one heck of a mess. And of course the day we decide to go of all times!!!!! I am so totally worn out today thought... Mom "lost" can her cane 5 times. Once I had to go and ask about it. And "lost and found" brought it to me, someone had turned it in... the other times "I" finally found it, once she could try and recall which machines she had been at. It was a nightmare... then when she found out her credit card was GONE... I just went nuts almost. Thank Goodness it was a "credit" card and not a debit card for her checking account. They may have been much worse. I had to get home first, find an old statement of hers, so I could even find where to call to cancel it... and then bring her information home and call them. Then she could not decide to eat at the Casino (we did not eat breakfast at first like usual) and just played thinking we would play an hour or two, then eat and leave. This was like 6:30AM or so... so by about 10AM, even I started getting hungry. The night before she would not even eat down in the Casino like we usually do. She wanted to get something and take it to the room... which was fine with me, but just weird. We went up "early" about 7:00PM to the room, and had gotten some really good fish and fries, much, much more than either of us could eat... we should have ordered just one and split it. So, I turned on the TV and was watching a movie... the next thing I know she is in the bed, with the extra blanket, already asleep by about 8:30PM or so. I could not believe it, and she never woke up at all, and usually she is up and down several times a night.. I finally decided to lay down also, so I changed and got in bed, and I woke up by 5AM on Friday and HOPED the slot machines were okay... But. I was already drinking a cup of coffee, I had made their in the room (which sucks) but I needed something... and was almost dressed by the time she was up moving, ready and packing. Like I said it was just strange everything she did. Heck, when we were going to the Casino, she sat and spent like an hour almost going back and forth through her purse. I thought maybe she lost something... but she was just "confused" I think about everything... then she kept saying we should be there already, and I said YES, if we had not been in stop and go traffic for about 35 or 40 miles or more off and on, we would have been there in about 2 hours... it took almost 3 and a half or more hours to just get there this time! Anyway, I parked and again she began going through her purse, and taking stuff in and out... and I finally asked her Mom have you forgotten something? She just said I cannot get it all organized, and then she had her "Players club card" in her hand, or lap and started saying she "lost it"... I looked down and said Mom it is right there in your lap..... anyway, I knew then it was not going to be a incredibly exciting trip... and one time about 2PM on Thursday, I told her to "SIT" and do NOT move from a certain spot... I was headed to get some tea, and go to the restroom, which was a long ways down, and then I told her I was going to try and check in to the room... so DO NOT MOVE! I get back and she is GONE! So, I thought gosh knows where the hell she is now... so I started looking, and finally spotted her rambling around, and I said WHY DID you MOVE??? She said well you were taking a long time... and I said I TOLD YOU, it is a MILE almost to walk from where we were to the HOTEL to check in! So, yes by the time I got there, got something to drink and went to the restroom it took a while, but why the hell you did not STAY where i said to... and she just looked at me... LOL! Anyway, it was okay and I had a wonderful time JUST BEING AWAY FOR A DAY OR SO AND A NIGHT, from the house, dogs, and just "Life".. BUT, I FEEL Mom will not be going back there again... if we do go to one, we may have to go to one of the smaller ones, who has already grown huge also... but she even said it, I just don't think I can go through this again, OR put YOU through all of it... and I told her Mom, it is fine, I did not mind and We BOTH needed to be away for a day and night... I told her I have my OFF days also... BUT now she really sees what I have been seeing for several years, and really bad the past 6 months... she goes to our PCP on the 22nd, and I am going to have a huge discussion with him... this is not just "old age", this is definitely more than that... I just PRAY it is not Alzheimer's.... Dementia is severe and bad enough, but the other, I watched my Grandfather go through that, and I surely do NOT want anyone to have to deal with Alzheimer's it is a horrid illness for sure..

Cute Story about Neighborly Neighbors & Their Friendly "Battles" Over the Years

I debated about posting this here first, or putting it on my blog with a link to it here. But, for now I will post it here because it is a "cute" little ordeal that has actually been going on for around 50 plus years. My Dad & Mom lived in the very first house my Dad had built in 1950. It is tiny. 2 small bedrooms, a small living room, a very small dining area that also is where the washer and dry are, a fairly small kitchen & alas the bathroom is just like a tiny box! We are talking about just less than 1,000 sq. feet! Back then that was in some ways considered HUGE! Many just could not afford a "huge" three bedroom brick mansion, with two baths and an attached garage. I begin telling this because you kind of have to get a bit of "background" about the neighborhood, & get the jest of why this is so freaking funny, especially to me. Mom & Dad had (and Mom still has the woman) a couple next door to them that they had known from day one of being there. Over the years they had cook out's together, went dancing together, Dad worked with the husband for many years at EBF etc. The wife, had been a nurse (at one time the only one that delivered babies with the doctors), and she was extremely dedicated and even after she retired, she went back to work for one of our doctors, until he retired, and she had too many issues health wise, so she had to give it up. Anyway, both my parents and them played "penny" poker sometimes on a Friday or Saturday night, went out to eat, and Dad and the husband were always kidding one another, from Dad Calling him a "tight wad", to him calling Dad silly stuff also. They would every once in a while get pissed and they may not talk to one another for a day or so, and then right back to the friendship as it always was. They had 2 boys. They were both several years older than me. And the neighbors house, like ours was very small, about the same size as Mom's & Dad's... and they raised those two boys in the tiny home. She still lives there till this day, just like my Mom... both chose to stay in the home they had always been in since marriage.
She, as a nurse, really did many, many things to help me. She was like a 2nd Mom, and sometimes it felt like my "1st Mom)! LOL... she taught me to crochet, make baby caps, and took me shopping in Dallas when she went... She was always teaching me something or doing something and would usually invite me to come. She is the very reason I so wanted to become a nurse. I "worked" as a volunteer Candy striper, she allowed me to do everything from learning to use the "autoclave" (back then it was used to kill the bacteria etc on the instruments.. there was nothing, or not much disposables back then. They washed, cleaned and then wrapped the packs of what was needed in certain surgeries etc... then put them in the autoclave to sterilize them. I even had my picture in the local paper one year holding the first "Christmas" baby in a red stocking we always made for them to go home in.

So, as you can tell our families were close, almost like being family members to one another. But, if Dad decided to go out and get a "portable gas grill", that family has to "one up" Dad, and have one put in the ground permanently and build a deck around it. If Dad painted the house, so did they. If Dad bought a new truck, you can bet they would have a new vehicle.... LOL, it got to be just funny, because they just could not stand for Dad and Mom to do something, without them feeling the need to also do the same or something similar. She had helped us out over the years when we were ill, or had a health issue, we always went over to talk to her first. But, just after Dad passed away, and just after I got back to Ennis to help Mom out, little did I know that her friend was "helping" Mom with her affairs financially, etc... but SHE bless her soul is just PUSHY as hell. She always wanted to tell everyone what to do, what to say, where to be, and if you did not do what she said, you can bet she would get pissy, and not speak for a day or so... But, as I said just after I got here back in Ennis, Mom & her had "words" over something I think... what I do know is that the woman, who had been like another Mom to me, quit speaking to me also. Even if she met me in the store, I could have ran over her, and several times I looked in her the face and said hello, but she NEVER said a word to me. Now I know my Mom sometimes can say something, & she may not mean it to sound "degrading" or in a bad way, BUT people take it that way. So, I feel my Mom might have said something or the friend did, & whatever it was it really hurt their friendship and mine, and I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! After I got here, Mom no longer needed her "friends advice" so I think that was part of it. She wanted to be able to tell Mom how to kind of "run her life"....now I am here and I am the one helping Mom out with the affairs... Well, about 2 months ago, after YEARS now of not speaking they began to speak a little... thus it is not all patched up but there is a bit of communication between them... NOW comes the FUNNY PART!!!! LOL... Last week I was at Mom's for the most part as they replaced her roof. Well, the gentleman that owned the roofing company came into tell us they were through... and then he said, your neighbor wants me to give her an estimate... MMMM, you must have known one another for a long time!!! We kind of looked at one another weird and asked him why he thought that. Well, Miss Goody-two-Shoes had commenced to telling him Mom should have had that replaced years ago, and blah, blah, blah, about how Mom should do this, & that I may not be giving her the best advice ---HAHAHA ----- We had to laugh in the first place, the ONLY reason for her having her house roofed is because she just cannot stand to be "one-upped" by Mom... and then that is just like her to mouth off about someone, and of course it had to be Mom and I! So, we told him a "condensed" story of the thing, and we all three had a great laugh over it, PLUS HE GOT THE JOB!!!!! So, whether she did need it or not.... I was happy he got the roofing job... And to read me tell the story, it is not quite as funny as "watching" it evolve after all these years... just goes to prove the old saying.. "Some things never change"... she is the same as she was when I was 10 yrs old... and I bet Dad and her Husband are in heaven still teasing one another... and her Mom & Her are, still the same... a few years older but still "friendly rivals"about how Mom should do this, & that I may not be giving her the best advice  ----LOL