RA my Enbrel came in, Lupus flare, Neck surgery coming up, 100% flattened disc, bone spurs, and joints giving hell, along with being tired and feeling lousy.

I FINALLY GOT THOSE two mini blinds up in my living room. This time I didn't step "hard" off the step stool. Thank goodness. But, the wood in this house is so HARD it is extremely difficult to put a screw or nail into the wood! It was definitely made from some extremely hard type of wood for sure. Anyway, my neck and entire body knew that storm was coming. I've hurt for several days and day before and yesterday was really bad. I had to make myself get up and do something. 

So, I baked a Lemon Pound Cake, got those blinds hung up finally, walked Peanut for a bit several times, and forgot I was completely out of any fresh fruit, and didn't even have any of the fruit cups or canned fruit I keep usually just in case I run out of fresh and don't feel like running to the market. It was almost 3PM by the time it dawned on me, but I threw some different shoes on, went to HEB & picked up a cantaloupe, a couple of plums, a couple of Gala Apples, and a HUGE Mango! I "hoped:" the Mango and cantaloupe were both good. I was almost too tired to get them prepared, but I finally decided I would get that cantaloupe scooped out, and cut up that Mango and they are both awesome! Sometimes the fruit is very good and sometimes very BAD! I hate when I pay expensive prices for fresh fruit, and it tastes like "cardboard". 

Then I picked up a red bell pepper, some tomatoes, and a cucumber. I've been eating salads again almost every evening for with dinner. So, I decided to add a couple of things that I've not been eating lately. THEN I FORGOT to get a new head of lettuce of all things. But, I still have enough for another salad tonight if I want one, so I am good until tomorrow at least. But, by the time I got to the house, and started to take those two sacks in, I was so tired I could barely pick my feet up off the ground. I don't know if it is just all of the running to Dallas Monday to see the Orthopedic Surgeon, plus last week the drive to see my Rheumatologist up there, and today I see my Cardiologist... but I feel just drained of all of my energy.

 I was on the sofa although awake but watching "True Blood" (I REALLY got into that series) and drinking coffee. I had quit drinking coffee for a very long time. Then after it began getting warmer, then I decide to drink coffee again. Usually one cup in the morning. But, it seems to upset my stomach, and that was one reason why I quit a year or more ago. It just does not set well sometimes with my stomach. My ENBREL CAME IN YESTERDAY! It was here on the porch when I got home from getting those groceries. BUT, I am about "half in fear" of starting it. When I was at my Rheumatologist office, we were talking about me being on a couple of the other RA injectables. It dawned on me, that when I was on the last one the Orencia, that is when I suddenly developed the cellulitis in both of the tops of my thighs. One week the left one began to have the lump in it, and then about 10 days later the other side in almost the same position began to have a lump. Later that turned into going to a surgeon, who had to open that mess up, and finally he messed up so badly (THANK GOODNESS he retired about 6 months ago) that I had to go to the wound care up at Charleton Methodist for 8 weeks I believe. They had to clean those out and put that special stuff in them to get them to get rid of the infection and finally close up, but I was dealing with that for almost 6 months or more. The Orencia, I feel was "contaminated".... I developed those places within a few days after the injection, in the about location I had been injecting them... and I felt it is was much of a coincidence that they came up a few days after the injection, in the same location from where I was doing those injections. 

Now, I do my B-12 injections monthly, and never have had any issues with those. And I am even more cautious that the doctors offices, when I give myself injections. I clean them several times all around on my thighs with the alcohol preps, and make sure everything stays completely sterile, and always cover up that spot with a band-aid for 24 hours. As most of us know we "carry" strep and staph or many of us do on our skin. It is almost impossible in the world we live in not to have some type of things like that on the surface of our skin. So, cleaning it is essential so not to "PUSH" those germs under the skin. Anyway, this one is in an "injectable pen" which is much easier to deal with, but honestly it to me hurts more than using a needle like I do with my B-12. I use the allergy needles for that and I never feel a thing. So, I put it in the fridge, and decided I would go back over all of the instructions today, and I am taking a shower in just a bit, so after my shower then I will take the first dose. I had to do this one once a week. My neck is definitely "worse". 

I believe I said that last night or night before last. LOL,,, I cannot keep up with the days anymore... it is 100 percent collapsed now and 1 of the ones he worked on before "may" be needing a bit of work, plus this time even on X-rays I showed several bone spurs. He said he definitely knew I had to be in pain, plus I can barely turn my head side to side. So, we are looking at probably the "middle" of April depending on how quickly the insurance approves it. Which they had already approved it last year, then due to Mom and then my hip fractures, I could not have the neck surgery. I think I just kind of "pulled" the muscles/ligaments around my neck and below it. It is much better today, except when I step a certain way. But, it is mostly doing okay thank goodness. Hell, now my elbow on the left arm, that was bad and I had surgery to attach the tendons back onto the bones, is beginning to "pop". It needed surgery at least 4 or 5 years ago, and I just took a couple of steroid injections, and decided to put it off. It is not hurting, so that is a good thing, it is just popping when I bend it or straighten it. If it's not one joint it's the other... LOL....

I am here still with the Flares, and more... Lupus. RA, Xeljanz, insurance, and Chronic Illnesses and Pain

 I 've added 3 photo's of what the side on my right knee looks like now.

I thought I should post, so everyone would not think I had up and disappeared! LOL!!! I would imagine "some" people could care less if I disappeared forever and to eternity! ;)  But, that is another very LONG story for another TIME when I feel I can "blog" a bit more as far as my own situation goes. For now, first of all, I am thrilled to be helping WEGO on several projects. I also am of course continuing my Platinum Ambassador activism. I also of course also post, blog, and so on about other chronic illnesses, and chronic pain. My pain level has been out the roof! Yet, I realize that others are either as bad as I am, OR possibly worse. I have been just as busy as a bee with things here at home. From taking down old desks, cleaning closets and dresser drawers, sanding on the inside windows in the spare room... to getting rid of LOADS of things that either have not been used in eons, never will be, are probably to old to use, and things that are generally worn out. I HATE a home full of "stuff" that is just that, stuff. So, I am pairing down a great deal of everything in each and every nook and cranny of this house. I am also in the process of finding my Mom an Orthopedic doctor. She has got to have her hip seen about. It is to the point that even Mobic, and it is a strong NSAID is not helping her. She is "still limping that leg and hip. So, it is more than time to have it X-rayed and get a specialist to either give her an injection into that hip, or something needs to be done. Of course my own issues with my hips, both, and lower back are also nuts. I had to POSTPONE the discograph again due to these flares and the "immune" situation for now, especially with prednisone... thus I am GOING to have that done a week from today on the 22nd... and I hope this time I can get there, and get it over with. I am ready (well no one is ever ready) to discuss "what" needs to be done, not done, and how to deal with the ordeal. I have to get a huge amount of blood work done, especially the "TB Gold" test, before my insurance will think about covering Xeljanz. So, I will go in later in the week to get that done. Then if the insurance will okay it, I will be trying the Xeljanz for the RA etc. I know I had a couple other things to "say" but now I cannot remember them... alas brain fog... ;)

Second Guessing Your Autoimmune Disease(s), Is there a "real remission" to some of AI's - Sjogren's, Lupus, RA, and more...

As I have waded MANY times through the entire "list" of autoimmune illnesses, diseases, syndromes and disorders, again I go back to the spot where I have to wonder: #1. Is my diagnosis correct? #2. Is there another 1, 2, 3 and so forth of AI's that I have, and if so are they being "managed" by the other medications I am on? #3. Are my entire entourage of physicians correct and have they done the proper testing, given me the right medications to help me gain me "control" over further degeneration, more pain, and one day truly feel like I have possible remission? Is there even anything such as "true remission" on some and/or all of the AI's? Is "this" (whatever stand in time I feel I am "at my best as far as being symptomatic) and I will just go onto endure all that is not alleviated as far as pain, future health issues, more pain, and less of a way to fight these illnesses? Does the medications that I am on now, or the ones I had been on, and other types of treatments, therapy, surgeries, and so forth truly mean my "health future" maybe "brighter"? Or I am, along with my physicians and so on, really making a true difference in how I am effected in the long haul of the future?

I KNOW for myself, and I will say probably the majority of patients, caretakers, spouses, families and friends ALL have these thoughts go through their minds. If like myself, this happens quite frequently; especially if you feel you have not made much progress in getting symptoms, fatigue, inflammation, pain, and others where you feel you have reached a comfortable level of relief. As any pain specialist, or probably any type of physician will tell you, there is ONLY so MUCH that can be done. For some, like those with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), it appears there are many more available treatments, more doctors that are familiar with the disease, and you hear fairly frequently of MS patients going into remission, and some for years.

Yet, as far as RA, Lupus, Sjogren's, Raynauds, Diabetes 1, Pernicious Anemia, Addison's Disease, Still's Disease, and the others, not so much. Usually those of us especially with "multiple" AI's never seem to feel as if the diseases are under control. We may feel that way for a week, or even a month or two, yet for me, each and every morning I put a foot to the floor, the RA pain is there. Now some days are better than others. We also know for a fact, weather, stress, jobs, family, and what we do, all have an effect on just how much "relief" we have from one day to the next. Brain Fog is one of those that rather than feel as if I maybe moving forward, I seem to be regressing further into the fog. Month after month I can tell by the way I do things on a daily basis, that the "fogginess" of Lupus, RA, Sjogren's, and such tends to get worse, not better. I am making many more lists, I must go through and reread paperwork over and over again. At times, even seeing something online, I can't recall it, or I walk into a room, and can't remember why I am there in the first place! I tend to leave things "half done", only later to come back and see, "Oh, I didn't finish making the bed", or I never watered all of my plants... possibly Mom asks me to look something up, and if I do NOT write it down, it's as good as gone by the time I leave her house and drive a whole 6 or so blocks to my home. Of course, there are many more little "things" that either I do, or don't do.. and I realize it is due to the Lupus Fog...

As far as the 2nd guessing, I am quite sure I have probably took my symptoms, as they come up, and now several new ones are popping up, and go all the way back to "square one" to research the entire ordeal. Do I really have Lupus, RA, Sjogrens' Raynauds.... and so forth... OR do I have Myasthenia Gravis, some type of "regional pain disorder, compression fractures in my lower back causing severe pain in my hips and legs. Maybe I have a hip that is totally worn out or getting that way. Much like my knees, I've had one hip give me "the blues" on several occasions. Enough that it sent me to my Orthopedic Surgeon so he could put a huge needle full of corticosteroid in it. Usually, that would work. My knees, shoulders and elbows were much the same way. I would have a huge bout with my shoulder or elbow, or knee and I would go in, get an injection into the joint, and I may do well for a day, week, month or years! OR like my knees and shoulder did, after so many injections over the years, and several arthroscopic surgeries on them, I had to have both knees totally replaced, as well as my right shoulder. My elbow has had surgery and has screws in it, and I know it has torn loose and really needs a "scope". I fear though it would be just like my knees and shoulder, the doctors does a scope, and he sees it is totally worn out, totally degenerated.. so "fixing" it is impossible. So, like my knees and shoulder, I went for years, as long as I could stand it, and the injections helped, then I had them completely replaced. You reach a place that you know there is no way you can put up with the severe pain, the loss of range of motion, the weakness, the inflammation... so you make your choice.

I've never regretted ANY of my joint surgeries. Each and every one, from the scopes, until the total replacements, gave me the relief, more strength, better use, no inflammation, and was a great deal better, than not having them replaced.

But, any type of joint surgery, even with the arthroscopic ones, there is never a guarantee you will be "better".... it could mean it may not help at all, OR you have complications, or possibly it feels worse. Now, once you have a TKR (total knee (joint) replacement) that does provide relief, stability, range of motion etc.

But, with the scopic types of surgery, as incredible as they are... and also as incredible as our CT scans, and MRI's are.... NEVER did ANY of them give my doctors the "real story" in my joints. Once they "opened" the joint up, then is when they discovered my joints were totally gone, in no way able to be repaired or "patched" up. I've had my Orthopedic surgeon tell me that over and over again. As good as our tests are, sometimes they do not give the big picture.

My neck was a prime example. I went for YEARS with severe neck pain. I was not able to turn my head very much, or bend it forward or backward. I constantly had severe pain in my shoulders, especially my right shoulder and shoulder blade. I went through numerous tests, from the MRI's, the CT Scans with the dye, regular X-rays, and even a couple more tests to check for nerve damage... EMG's and so forth. They found some nerve issues, both in my legs, and down my arms, yet I jumped from one specialist to the other, with every test, every scan, all of the tests they done as far my nerves.... yet it took me forever and a day to finally CONVINCE a very astute, very stubborn and head headed, yet the very BEST SPECIALIST in the area of not only joints, joint surgery and replacements, BUT he also knew spinal surgery, better than any other doctor I can remember.

After FINALLY getting him to do the "reverse shoulder replacement" on my right shoulder, the first 8 weeks I was truly amazed......


It was not long after that, my shoulder blade on that side, began to feel as if it were burning. Of course I had the shoulder totally replaced, so the "searing" pain (unless something happened like an infection) should not be giving me problems.

Again, back to the same Orthopedic Surgeon, who just DESPISES "educated patients". He just think HE is the "master" over all things "ortho" and we as "layman" don't know "crap"...

I've told my own story over and over about his horrid "bedside NO manner"... as before when I went in to tell him what was happening, he swore that the pain should not be coming from my neck. Well, I totally knew unless like I said there was an infection in the joint replacement, OR the huge bundle of nerves that run right along in that area, and out to the shoulders, shoulder blades, arms, and so on had something wrong. Which "could be" but was not likely.

Again, we go through a special "scan" of my neck. It comes back with C-3 through C-4, C-5 and C-6 having issues. Exactly how much, well from the pain I was having and looking at the CT scan with contrast, showing "bulging, and a few other issues, the 4 level "replace 2 discs" and fuse the other 2, is what was decided. He was set even with my shoulder, that if he got actually into the "joint" (right shoulder) and he didn't see nearly enough damage then he would "repair" it and not replace. But, all cards on the table, said "reverse replacement". So, the "new shoulder" was waiting for me before the surgery. Sure enough, after being able to "see" the severe damage, there was no question a reserve total shoulder replaced.

Albeit the same with my cervical spine. There was a great deal more damage "inside" that the scan didn't pick up, which meant he (and I) were right on with the "replacement/fusion) discectomy. By the time I came out of the anesthesia, I already knew I was 100% BETTER!  Even though it was the quickest surgeries for me, as far as very little pain, etc after surgery, it was 6-8 weeks before I could do much of anything but walk. Which kind of was "bad". Because it "felt" so much better, I had to be careful and watch myself. It was a miracle.

Later he came in to tell me what he found etc, and that I actually was pretty "right on" with my own "diagnosis"... thus that kind of helped for the both of us as far as NOT feeling like he needed to make me feel crappy just because I do my "homework".

Now of course is a totally different type of problem. Not one that is easy to face, nor easy to diagnose, and also one that many, MANY times said "I WOULD NEVER" have my lower spine operated on. Due to ALL of the bad things, from online, from people you see and know... it was something I never wanted to even have to give thought to. Well, here I am once again wondering what will have to be done in this case.

So, that is why I am questioning EVERY diagnosis, every thing I have read, researched, been told, by both other patients and doctors also... whether remotely that I even want to have the "discograph" or whatever they call it. Yet, even sitting here now, I feel that "pain" that is so very familiar. If I sit for a while, it begins that burning in my lower back, butt, and down my legs. I still feel like my hips are a part of the puzzle, but he insists my hips aren't causing this kind of pain. Of course he takes an X-ray, that basically says the same thing that the CT Scan I had about 6 weeks ago says, thus this stupid invasive "discogram" will probably also show the same... The TESI (Transforminal Epidural Steroid Injections) worked for a few days, thus that "tells them" that are hitting the mark. That is "a part" of this. Yet, I am still convinced my hips are also a part of it also.

So, the "gram" is set up at the end of May around the 27th. Everything else going on left me with no choice but to make it a couple of weeks off. First of all, again I will have to have my son drive me. I can't drive after having it done. And Jim can't drive and no way my Mom could drive in Dallas. She does well to drive to the market and back in Ennis!

So, I am now kind of "fed up" with all of it. My hopes are the pain will cease and desist, so I can go on and enjoy my summer, and not be down with a freaking major surgery.

Plus who the hell is going to take care of me, and the house, etc??? Jim can't do a lot of things as it is, and no way would I have some stranger coming in to help us, while I recover.

So, there are lots and lots of things to consider, before jumping head first into this quagmire of tests and surgery!












 

Onward to both Hips injected and my lower vertebra also injected next week...

YUCK!!! I first of all, have a very nauseated stomach and now am getting a stupid headache. It was almost like a "de-ja-vu" for me just a bit ago. I had this overwhelming feeling that I had been in that exact "space and time" before. Well, I had. Years ago, when my migraines began, it seems I would have these stupid things either on Friday or Saturday night!!! It seemed to never fail, that when Friday came and I was looking forward to either going out to dinner or dancing with friends, next thing you know, I'm headed for the ER with a very severe migraine. Most of the time, nothing would take those away, especially when I got badly nauseated also, but going in for IV fluids, some type of strong pain killer, morphine, back then they used Demerol for that type of pain. Then in a few hours it was home to hopefully keep the stupid thing at bay so I could still have a good weekend. Anyway, when I first got out of bed, my stomach was already very upset, and then the headache began to come on quickly also. And it is FRIDAY! Of course now, I am no longer able to "work" outside my home, so the circumstances are a tiny bit different. Yet, I really NEED TO GET MY MOM'S TAXES DONE!! And the plan was for me to do a few things online, then do her taxes and get that out of my way. So, I took some Promethazine, my meds for pain, etc and am trying to make sure I get my few posts in, and hopefully finish those taxes or at least get the most of them done, so I can go to the sofa for the rest of the day. I can tell this is going to be "one of those bad headaches" and my only option is on the sofa, and to remain still as possible so it will finally go away...

Also, I FINALLY HAVE THE APPOINTMENT NEXT WEEK (Well both of them) one to have both hips injected on Tuesday here by my Orthopedic surgeon. Then I have to go to Dallas next Thursday (have to be there at 7AM) not looking forward to that drive in Dallas at that time of the morning. My pain doctor finally is going to inject both sides of the last vertebra down by my tailbone. He thinks at least a portion of the horrid pain I've been having is coming from there. I have a bulge of a disc there, plus probably a great deal of inflammation which waxes and wanes so some days it hurts much worse than others. But, I feel my hips are still a part of the problem. I had them both injected about this time 2 years ago. That seemed to help, SO I am hoping I can continue to do without hip surgery. Anyway, between the both of them, I am keeping the faith for relief. Plus if those work then we know for sure, where the real problems are coming from.

BUT< what truly SUCKS! Of course Jim can't drive at all, and my Mom could never drive in Dallas at all... she barely gets back and forth from the market, bank and home here in this small town, much less Dallas traffic. Well, they will have to give me a bit of something to put me out or to the place as I used to call it (" don't give a damned medicine in my IV)... I know this routine like the back of my hand. Plus I know they "think" my husband will be there with me, to possibly drive me home. Well, he could "help" some if I needed help... BUT usually with that light of meds to put you asleep for a 10 minute procedure, you are wide awake, drinking juice or something before you go anyway. So, that is a drawback of having Jim not be able to drive, plus Mom can't and no one I know here close enough that could drive me back and forth to Dallas on a weekday... So, we are going to have to be a bit "creative" in making sure they don't see me being the one driving myself home. I know I won't have a problem at all. As I said, you really don't go out for long, and that med wears off quickly especially since I've had to go through this several times.... so that is my "hectic" schedule for next week, along with possible RAIN and Thunderstorms for the next 10 DAYS!!!


#HIPNeckSteroidinjections