To My Beloved Dad.. Happy Birthday on Groundhog Day Dad!

This was the last photo and last time I got to see him in 2004... I came down from Seattle for my daughters wedding to Corpus.... and then drove for a few hours trip all the way to Ennis to see my parents before going back to San Antonio to fly back to Seattle...

I was glad I made that trip. He passed away 2005 on Easter Sunday after a knee replacement got severely infected...
He would be 97 years old tomorrow....

Polka Festival Pics, Kids visit was awesome, and sad to see them go, have to begin this "bone stim" tomorrow, holidays, and family... lingering fear over neck surgery & pain in my thigh from the hip fracture

Here finally is some of my pics from the parade for the Polka Festival on Saturday. The kids started home this morning a couple of hours ago. It gets more difficult to see them go every time. It seems like they get here and it's time for them to turn around and leave. I enjoyed having them, and was happy I got to celebrate Logan's birthday, although a bit early, it was the first time in a very long time that I was where I could be with one of them for their birthday's. I think Heather's would have been the last and that was when she was very little... but I got to be with them yesterday for awhile, and Saturday at the parade. I didn't get to go to the Zoo due to my neck still being in the hard brace, it was so hot and humid, in fact the whole time they were here it was hot and humid, but they enjoyed the zoo... and sometimes we will have to go back when they come up. I just hope we get to see each other much sooner...

since Mom is gone, it is much harder for me to be here .... of course Jason is here and we see each other a couple of times a week for the most part, but I truly miss not being able to watch the kids growing up. And I so wished I could be with Amanda more. We talk almost daily, but being with her is always so much better. We did get a bit of time together, but it seems we are always rushed, because there are so many people to see, and things to do while they are here... As they drove away, I felt the tears in my eyes, and I got choked up, life sometimes is not easy. After all the hell with my neck surgery, and it still does not seem "right" ... plus my thigh where the hip fracture was is really giving me hell, and I know I probably face more surgery soon on my lower back...

I just wished it would all go away so I could have my life back.... but we all have a path to follow, and sometimes it is just not easy... but we must do, what we have to... then Peanut bless his heart has not been feeling well, I noticed him scratching, and sure enough, even with keeping the lawn treated, and keeping him with drops monthly, he had a flea on him, so I've been trying to use "natural things" to get rid of them...

so between trying to mop with lemongrass oil, apple cider vinegar, and I put a little bit on him with some coconut oil, that seemed to also help the itching, he is a bit better this morning, and I am already exhausted from trying to be careful not to hurt my neck, yet vacuum with my small vacuum cleaner, and mop the hardwood floors... and wash everything in dry it as hot as I can.... a pain in the butt, yet with all of the rain, and now more headed our way, it will be a pain all summer probably. I've got to start the "bone stimulator"... but I think I will begin tomorrow. I want to get over everything else, get my clothes washed and get a bit settled before I began having to wear it a total of 4 hours a day, 2 at a time I can split it if I want... and I pray next week, a week from this Wednesday, the hard brace can come off, and I can drive then, and wear a soft brace.... Wishing everyone a wonderful Holiday!

And Kids at the Zoo!!!!!  

Dealing with Aging, Chronic Illness and Another Birthday today!

All of us have to deal with aging. It is just a fact of life. If we are here on this Earth, we naturally are a tad bit older each day.

I am dealing with my 55th birthday tomorrow, Sunday the 15th (almost a Valentine's Baby). I always have a difficult time dealing with how quickly these birthdays seem to come around. It feels like I just celebrated one, and here is another one popping up.

When you have a chronic illness (es) and/or are living with chronic pain, I feel you have more of a feeling of "desperation" as the days go by. It is of course a known fact, if you are chronically ill, with just about any type of disease, that can lessen your life span depending on which illness, and how well it can be managed.

So, with someone such as myself, dealing with Lupus, RA, Sjogren's, already having two heart attacks, etc. the possibility of me living my life out to my 90's or less can be something that you have to admit may not happen. No one wants to think about growing older, and then passing away. We have so much LIFE to live, none of us want to check out of the life hotel, before we have completed all of the things we want to. Maybe it is to see your kids, grandkids, and great grand children grow up. Maybe you have things like myself, a blog, a book to write, people to see, family that you of course don't want to leave, and hobbies, activism, volunteer work, traveling, just the daily parts of life such as they are. with Autoimmune Illnesses, days may not be the greatest. You have some that are full of pain, and you would prefer not to deal with. Yet, you usually would rather deal with the pitfalls of chronic illness, than the opposite, which would be to pass onto another life.

I didn't get to finish this post yesterday, so I will finish it off for now with what I have written on Facebook this morning. I am so fortunate to have so many people around the globe that lift me up in faith, hope, and prayer... and I want all of them to know how much they mean to me.

This has been such a wonderful day so far. Other than waking up early this morning with a freaking horrid headache, that then upset my stomach as usual, I am having an incredible birthday! I went yesterday and got 3 shirts and a purse at Beall's for less than the price of the purse itself! I had a gift card from them for my birthday, plus some other good coupons. Then Mom and I stopped at the Dairy Queen and got burgers and fries. I brought ours home, so that was Jim and I's Valentine Day special. :):) Mom gave me a beautiful card, and what she wrote in it brought tears to my eyes. She has always been here for myself and for Jim, especially after the accident. Then Jim's Mom also sent me a card, and money! :) I had ordered something on Amazon that usually I never would have even tried, but it came in yesterday and they fit perfectly! I got 5 new bra's in the colors I needed for like 25.00! Plus Jim gave me a beautiful new robe this morning!!! I needed it so badly. I was ashamed to even wear my old one, it was definitely worn out.... then I got a call from Amanda Batson- Matheny​ and a bit later from my son Jason Harber​ which made my day to hear their voices and have them call was a wonderful treat... I also went and got us "no-no's" as I call donuts... we have a place just a few blocks away, and I could sit there and make myself sick, eating them. They are so good!!! :):) We were supposed to head to Winstar today. But, the weather is supposed to begin getting lousy today, and it is already really cloudy, and we are expecting a high chance of rain today and tomorrow, plus colder temperatures. So, we decided to wait to go the the Casino when the weather is a bit better. Driving in rain does not bother me if it is not too far away, but being with the idiots going through Dallas in the pouring rain, is not my biggest thrilling adventure! So, the rest of my day will probably be just relaxing with the pups and Jim. Probably going to watch a movie or two, and other than that, try and put all of the "everyday" worries aside today and not think about all there is to do, errands, running here, there and yonder... but just have a day of peace with these 3 I have so much joy with ... the pups can make us laugh no matter how lousy we feel, or how badly the day goes. Bubba Gump will raise up on his hind legs, with his front paws down in front of his face... and those big eyes just saying Mommy, rub my tummy... or the way he loves to watch television and movies. Tazzy, bless her heart, can still do some things to make me laugh... but she is really beginning to get a bit "feeble" in so many ways. She is I believe 11 years old. Jim gave her to me as a Christmas present while we were living in Seattle. That was the Christmas of 2004, because she was a year old when we got to TX. So, time has also flown by with her. It seems just yesterday, I was visiting her, with her brothers and sisters, trying to decide which puppy I wanted. She came running to me, not bigger than my hand... then ran over to Jim and began to give him kisses. From there we knew she was the one!!!! :):) She was not even old enough for me to bring home. I had to wait a week, and she got her last puppy shots, then we picked her up the next Friday night, just before Xmas. Life has just passed by so extremely fast. Day will have passed away 10 years ago on the 27th of March. Mom will be 80 in August. And Jim and I have been together now for 12 years, and will be married in April 10 years. I would not have missed one moment ever so far in my life, and I am so very fortunate to have family, a spouse, two pups, and so many friends to keep me from going insane at times. You each bring something special to my life, and even if we never were to meet in person, which of course many of us might not, you are still as much a part of my life, as if you were right next door... thank you... each and every one of you, for giving me strength, courage, hope, faith, and on the right path in life... I am blessed and overflowing... Rhia