Medicare, Disabilities, Chronic Illnesses, Chronic Pain... and going through the "hoops" to get the help we need...

Morning gals and guys... or guys and gals, however you want to put it. I realize I've been almost "quiet" the past couple of days, which is not like me.

I've been doing several things, from continuing on my spring/summer "cleaning"... believe me when I get into one of these moods, if it is not "nailed down" it may just get thrown away, given away, or whatever... but it will not stay in this house for sure.

I do this about 2 - 3 times a year. I guess we all have a certain "time" that we decide it is time to "junk away"... I am not a "hoarder" by no means. But, I do believe in hanging on to some items, knowing there will come a time, I will decide I need a certain item.

So, like many, I have a "guide" I go by. If I have not needed it, thought about it, worn it, looked at it... for OVER a year or a bit more... then it's time to either get rid of it, or decide to use it in whatever way I intended.

I don't like to be one of those who hangs onto every plastic butter bowl, or every coffee can, or old towels, sheets, or even clothes. Usually on my clothes, I have a few tops I wear around the house daily. They are probably not really fit to run to town in, but okay enough for around the house. Then I have some I wear for everyday errands. Those I wear to run errands in, to the market, to Wally World... and when they get to the place, they are looking kind of "not all that great", I use those around the house, and by then it is more than time to "chunk" away the other old house tops. You can bet by then, they are stained, probably are beginning to have a few tiny holes in them and so on.

As far as my "dressy"... more go to the Casino, out to eat, or something else ... that I feel I need to dress up for... again, I go through them a couple of times a year. If I have not put it on, thought about it, even remotely considered doing anything in it, then usually it goes to Good Will, if it is still in good shape. I try my best NOT to have LOTS of stuff, that is totally NOT going to be worn here in my closets. Thus, a couple of times a year during the season changes is a great opportunity to take them and let someone else get some use out of them. I do the same with magazines, books, and the like. If I can "reuse", then I do... if I can give it to others to recycle, reuse, etc... I do... If none of those sound feasible, then usually it goes over to "Soul's Harbor"... which is a store, that everyone does the same. Whether clothes, furniture, dishes, you name it... and you don't really want to throw it out, then we take them there. You can get a receipt for a tax write off, but I don't even worry over that. I always tell them, if you can sell it, or whatever... great, if you cannot... the get rid of it however you do....

Okay, so I've been in the middle of all of that stuff, along with getting rid of 2 old computers, an old desk, some speakers, and just some "general" stuff that rather than let me hauled off in the trash... we have a couple of people that come around and pick up some items, especially if there is any metal in them... they sell it to one of our "steel" businesses here. That way those thing get recycled, the guys can get a few bucks out of them, and that means less waste in our landfills for sure.

I know my family gets tickled at me. I can find some real "odd" uses for some stuff, but when I finish, they are totally amazed. A few years back, we had a pretty good sized tree limb come down. IT was pretty straight, and fairly thick. It was also long enough, in my head, I could see it cut into about 18 inch long pieces, and make flower arrangements with them. So, we cut them in a couple of different lengths. I went around my house and found some of my silk flowers, then went to our "Dollar Tree" and picked up a few more, and 'voila', I had three beautiful flower arrangements, at that time for Christmas!!!

I had one for my table, one of the office and one for the living room! Between some left over ribbon, and lace, a few silk flowers, some floral wire... and a bit of imagination, they appeared to be something you may buy at one of these "DIY" sales, where people sell their items they make. Then I got the idea, I would change them for the different holidays. So I had some flowers and things for Valentine's Day, Memorial Day, Easter... Thanksgiving, and one year even St. Patrick's Day! I found some "green silk flowers" and I had some white ones, and with a bit of green and white ribbon, that made a cute centerpiece on a table or on the desk, or sitting in the living room.

OF course, here I go again, taking the "back way" around what I wanted to write about in the beginning of this.

I read an article this morning about an extremely "lucrative" (for the crooks) scam that took place all over this nation, in regard to "false claims" from Medicare. This is such a horrid thing, ANY PHYSICIAN is NOT a true doctor, if they are ripping off their patients. That is called greed, and any one in the medical profession and others are no professional if they take advantage of something as "fragile" as Medicare is. It just burns me to NO END, that the very people that NEED to be seen by physicians, that cannot AFFORD for our Medicare system to go "belly up" are the ones that suffer from this unspeakable crime. Even though they took down the largest fraud ring ever in this, I am sure there are others out there doing it also... and it appears that Medicare has tightened up and is paying more attention to these kind of schemes. Florida of course is a huge one, but there were several states including Texas involved in this.

Due to migraines, chronic pain, fatigue an  ALL THAT GOES along with disabilities also, NEED there disability (Medicare) also to help keep their health hopefully in check. I know of course some of you are not thrilled about the idea of those on disability... but I PAIN into my Social Security and Medicare for over 25 years before I had to file for my disability. So, I don't feel that I've taken advantage of anyone or anything. I just could not work anymore due to all of my health issues, and I've had to accept the fact, they are NOT MY FAULT! The Lupus, Sjogren's, RA, and so on... "just happened"... I've done nothing as far as I know to cause them....


IT took me a long time to understand, I am not to blame... I didn't go and do something within my life, as far as I know to "cause" me to become ill. You would be surprised though how many of us want to blame ourselves for it,

No chronic illness and/or chronic pain issue is FUN! They are all serious, and they change your entire life and your quality of life in many instances is truly sunken into the depths of the unknown... losing friends, spouses, family... to those horrid diseases, that we have little or no control over.

All we can do is take one step in front of the other, one moment at a time... and continue to hold on to what we can do, have, and hope for in the future.....

I've not disappeared at all... just been extremely busy... for one, fighting of two flares, making changes around my home, as you see above, and trying to fit some of the pieces of me, that seemed to have gotten lost in all of the drama... of daily life....


http://www.medpagetoday.com/PublicHealthPolicy/Medicare/52207

Life In A "Goldie Locks" Kind of Cinderella Fashion - Then realizing what was back then was a "view" from a childs eyes...

I've done quite a bit of posting, writing, blogging, and more posting today. More than I've done in quite a while for a change. It just seemed like since the weather is making its turn here in my neck of the woods for what sounds like worse for wear, the dreary, rainy, cloudy, soon to be falling sleet and freezing rain shall cometh as the day gets into the late afternoon and evening.

I've put some things up here, on my blog, along with some posts on Facebook, several "Tweets", and some Pinterest postings along with the entire thing also have kind of brightened up my pages on those places that were beginning to feel more staggered, than normal. Of course I go through sometimes even a week or possible almost two weeks, that living daily life, tends to be erratic, errand filled, running hereth, thereth, and yonder... and feeling too worn for wear, when it comes to being online, or even on the computer to write in my book. It comes with the territory of having some of the chronic illnesses I live with. They at times seems to inhabit more of my body, mind and spirit, than just "my own self".

That may sound a bit crazy, and with the amount of issues lately with brain fog, pain, forgetfulness, and sometimes feeling just beyond the point of lazy thus I see at a breaths space, that without my watchful eye, Lupus, RA, Sjogren's, Raynaud's and the rest can slip up behind you when you least expect it and take over your body, heart, and mind much like some alien force that presented itself from a foreign planet.

As I was taking a shower earlier this afternoon, and thinking about my life, it dawned on me how things are so very different now. When I say that I mean more of my own perspective about my life in a very personal sense. When I was growing up in the 60's and 70's... little did I know how much influence my younger years would have on me, when I was 50 and over.

Back then I never gave thought to "money". Of course I knew my family were not "rich" or even very affluent. I always lived on the "other side of town". The North part of my hometown is where the larger homes were built, mostly brick, and were a great deal much more expensive than the small little 2 bedroom, 1 bath room wooden home I lived in. In fact, I was born, raised there, and my Mom after all these years still resides in that exact house. So, it is truly "home" for me.

Mom was about 25 years old when I was born. I get the impression she never really "dated" all that much before her and Dad met. He happened to be almost 13 years OLDER than her. I guess back then, age like that was not all that huge of a factor. Most women in the 50's and 60's were home makers. They took care of the kids, house, cleaning, cooking and so forth. The Dads, Husbands were the "bread winners". They went out into the world and make a living for the family. We always had two vehicles. We usually had a "good" used car for Mom to drive me to school, to the market and errands. Or if we went on vacation we usually went in the car. Dad just about always had a truck. He began with a Chevrolet and the last one Mom traded in after he passed away was also a Chevrolet. Dad bought a brand new pickup about every 5 to 7 years. Mom had worked until I started school. When I began 1st grade she stayed home and Dad as I said was the provider. Dad and Mom were both born and somewhat remember the very "harsh" times of the Depression. Dad of course, much more than Mom. He was born in 1923. He remembered outhouses, no indoor plumbing, wells, hoeing cotton, having a farm, garden, chickens, cows you milked, flour in huge cotton sacks (Mom remembers that also. Her Mom made them underwear out of the flour sack material)!

As the years went by, of course my entire "adult" life was somewhat different than my parents. I worked almost the entire time, from the day I graduated early from High School, until the day I resigned my last job in Seattle due to health issues, I always worked. If I had relied on money coming in from either of my first two husbands, I would have never financially survived. So, things that my Mom never taught me much of, working outside the home, clothes, makeup, and all of the "girlie-girl" things... having your nails done, having your hair cut differently, even having a bit larger home, a new car, 2 kids, rather than like myself an only child, and then allowing my kids to kind of "learn their own way" around the world. I taught them how to take care of themselves. I wanted my daughter to be able to be "her own woman". Never did I want her to have to rely on some guy to take care of her. I never wanted to feel she had to "stay" in an abusive relationship, or put up with someone not treating her like a woman should be treated, due to thinking she "had to" stay. Of course I wanted both of my kids to learn how to stand up on their own two feet. But, all the time I worked and was out of the house, I also needed them to be responsible enough to come home after school (when they were old enough), do their homework and chores, and be there when I came home from work, college or both.

My Dad never wanted me to "play in the band", or try out for any type of extra things in school. He was so strict, he never allowed me to go to football games like the other kids did on Friday night. And by the time he finally DID allow me to do a few things, he would either have to drive me there, pick me up, and was just so very overprotective of me. How I ever learned anything as far as taking care of myself... was either through an innate nature I was born with, or because I had the dearest next door neighbor who took me under her wing, and taught me so much, from crocheting to being a candy striper at the hospital...  all of the things I learned were from her, or from my own trial and error.

I guess I thought life was kind of the way Mom and Dad lived it. He came home from work for dinner (he worked nights for the most part when I was a teenager), and unless he "okayed" me going to my cousins house for the weekend, or her coming over, I was alone with no siblings anywhere near close to my age. I have a half-brother who is 18 years or more older than me. My Dad was 37 when I was born, and my Mom 25 years old. So, I guess they decided that after Mom had a couple of miscarriages after me, that having one child was in their cards.

As I had said in the beginning of this, being "affluent" or having money was something as children we don't think much about. Or back then all of that type of thing was not talked about around me. I raised my kids so much differently. They knew the "value of a dollar" at an early age. I wanted them to be ready when the time came to face the world head on. Not like myself, who was hit right in the face by the time I was 19, had my son, and was paying all the bills myself.

I don't resent that my parents did or did not do things a bit differently. But, I do often wish, they would have given me "eyes" and a "mind" earlier in life to accept so many of the things that life hands us, and if we don't have the understanding, we are not able to deal with it so well.

Dad hated doctors, and hated medications. He just refused with the exception of when he was extremely ill, to see his doctors, and just would not take the medications they gave him. He thought it was all a bunch of bull, and any medication you got on was almost like a sign of weakness. So, when I began to have severe migraines at 17, little did I know just how horrid the next 15 to 20 years of my life would be. From doctor to doctor, from time lost from work, medications that did not work, and Dad never really suffered a "headache" of any kind. So, he could not "get" what a "migraine" was, and why I needed medications for them. He would get almost mad if he knew I was on medication. His Mom back when he was very young, had been ill probably with cancer back then. The only thing they could do in those years was keep someone comfortable, and that usually meant morphine. I those times no one knew that "morphine" was habit forming etc. They knew it helped with pain relief for bad pain, and the doctors gave it out to those that were in bad pain such as cancer. Well, I guess probably my Dad watched his Mom go downhill, and then between the medication and the cancer she was not "lucid" at times. So, he thought that "any" medication could cause you to "lose your mind"... and he definitely did not believe in taking any type of pain medication. So, there were times I just could not even tell him about me being home sick with a severe headache, or the many times I was in the ER with one so bad they had to give me IV medications just to get rid of it.

Even back then, as young as I was, I had joint issues. It began with an accident playing baseball with some of my cousins, and I got used for "2nd base"... and the torn meniscus had to be repaired in that knee. I spent 7 days in the hospital in traction after that surgery at 15. By the time I was 21, I had a 2nd surgery on that knee, and even then I was showing signs of arthritis. Yet, the doctors just didn't put two and two together... to see there was probably much more going on that just a knee injury. After that I began to have various joint problems. Pain, stiffness, severe pain, freezing up, until I had a shoulder, an elbow operated on, and after that, I underwent several more scopes on both shoulders, knees, and then of course replacements of my knees and my right shoulder.

Life for me as a child was days of playing alone outside in the good months, with my dolls, my table and chairs, and as I said, not knowing what really was going on through those years. Even in my teens, I just knew I had an overly strict Dad, that never allowed me to "spread my wings"... he didn't even "encourage" me to go to college... yet I did go and finally got my Associates Degree after years of going at night after work, to get my degree. I am told I am an incredible oil painter, and loved taking those lessons. I took piano for years, and loved that. Even the vacations that my parents took me on, they were nice, and I am glad they took me, but after I was grown I got to go snow skiing, go to Vegas, went to concerts, to Hot Springs, and did many things that my parents never would have tried or done.

We always want to love and "shelter" our kids from the harms of this world. But, if we "shelter them" too much, then they are not prepared for what the world holds later... and all of us know now it just gets worse with each passing year.

My Dad never understood cable TV or Dish, he never understood a cordless phone, or a CD player or DVD player. He certainly did not get a cell phone, computer, or much of anything that was "electronic" in nature at the time all of the digital, cell, and those types of things came out.

I will end this for now, on a note, that I am not upset, nor do I blame my Dad or Mom for where I feel I may have not gotten as far in life as I wanted, when it comes to things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go... and thank goodness I didn't raise my two like that. They "get" the world... but I just hope that people give their kids what they need, that will help them grow into caring, loving, and knowledgeable adults, that can "conquer" anything, and not be scared to do things in life. I felt kind of "shut off" from the real world back then...