Anticipating the 2015 Arthritis Foundation Annual "Summit on the Hill"!

A dear friend of mine that I met in fact at last years Annual Summit on the Hill by the Arthritis Foundation had posted and asked me if I had filled out my "Travel Award". Well, yes I have, and as I told her, I had made "Platinum Ambassador" thus I believed it was my "obligation" to come to the Summit. Of course I would try to go whether I had made that or not. My entire world evolved around that Summit last year in March. I had in fact "won" a Travel Award, after putting my application in at the very last moment. I felt I had probably missed out since I was so late in even knowing about being able to go by getting a "Travel Award". So, by the time I filled out my paperwork and emailed it in, I feared I would be too late. But, within a few days, I received a "glowing email" that I had in fact been granted a Travel Award to D.C. for the Summit that took place and does take place each year around the 24th through about the 26th of March. I will never forget how much I got out of the Summit even being my very first time there, and just how much more I wanted to be a "better voice"... activist, advocate, blogger, writer, and then I wanted of course to be an Ambassador for the AF. I was not sure I would be able to get enough advocacy work in to make "Platinum" especially after my husbands accident, but I was SURE I would give it all I could in between everything that took place for those months following that fateful day in March. I've played it over and over in my mind. I have spoken about it numerous times online, and in person. I've written about it, blogged about it, and still to this day, at times it feels almost surreal.
It is almost impossible to believe all that happened at that time did. What is more impossible to believe is that the entire ordeal with the wreck that Jim went through, the months of hospital and rehab after that, and then months of outpatient rehab, the red tape that still goes on and on with the lawyer, and all of the fighting we have done to get him into physicians etc... it is truly a night mare. Maybe that is truly why I have night terrors almost every night of my life. There are not many nights that I don't wake up and I cannot breathe. I am "suffocating" in one way or the other in the night terror, but I am also in real life having massive problems breathing. Most nights I am up, trying half asleep, half awake and still almost in a dream like state trying to find my inhaler and the nasal spray, so I can once again breathe. It is crazy insane, but it is so very, very true.

I've done a good bit of research on night terrors, and of course the amount of stress from the accident in itself is enough to send me into a frenzy. When you add in my own health problems, and the fact that I have had to endure a great deal of my own pain once again, and the entire situation with my teeth, or no teeth now, the full set of dentures... of which the bottoms STILL will NOT stay in place, thus I am still not eating as I should, and by the end of the day, I just want to take the damned things out and throw them across the lawn into the street and say to hell with all of it. Of course the issue of also having "complications" which for me, what is new, yet they always seem to surprise me... of which involves my sinus cavity on the right side... and it is the maxillary sinus passage, which I have already been told, that I need to have repaired, I am sure has sometimes a great deal of reasoning behind my night mare like breathing problems. But, when you are facing another 7,000.00 PLUS out of pocket since you can't get a damned dental plan worth a flip, OR as this should be paid by regular Health Insurance, because a "chronic HEALTH Illness" is what caused me to lose my teeth in the first place should pay a portion of it. But, I have fought "tooth and nail" (no pun intended)... and I have just gotten way too weary to fight them anymore about paying any of it. Of course now, I changed insurance on January 1, thus you can believe that makes it entirely impossible to get either one of them to pay a dime ....

There is "after the fact of me already being out thousands" a "non-profit" that is for dental issues, mainly caused from autoimmune illnesses or cancer patients. But, there are way too many people needing the help versus the dentists and oral surgeons that will try and help out of generosity and not expecting either to have lots of people that will help.

Baylor dental college in Dallas also has certain things students do, while the professors and doctors watch, but you will much pay like 278.00 just to walk in the door. Then the 78.00 is a "fee" non-refundable, and the 200.00 is to apply towards care you are given, or if they can't help you then you get the 200.00 back. I know I went there to have my 4 wisdom teeth cut out all at once. In fact I was newly married, and my Dad drove me up there and home. I looked like a chipmunk with a full mouth of acorns for over a week. But, they charged a great deal less that having that done in a regular oral surgeons office.

As I leave behind so much "sadness" and "darkness" from 2014, I am trying my best to hold onto 2015 being a positive year, full of prosperity, not just financially, but more in the "domain" if you will, of getting things accomplished. I am trying to stay as far away as I can of thinking about all that took place in 2014, trying to look as each day a new one, that can mean much more as far as my writing, my advocacy, my activism, not only online, through my blog and writing, but I hope to be more involved in trying to find a way for my entire community of Ennis and Ellis County to become knowledgeable about the Autoimmune Illnesses, their symptoms, their lack of being able to be diagnosed, and to educate those that are surrounding me day in and day out right here, even as next door neighbors. I've come to see as of late, that there are MANY people that have some type of AI disease, FM, CFS/ME, Chronic Pain, right here that I could help, if given some assistance on how to go about starting an "awareness campaign" locally. We are SO LACKING in the understanding of Lupus, RA, Sjogren's (boy this one we REALLY NEED some understanding on), and MS... Raynaud's, Diabetes 2, autoimmune arthritis, autoimmune psoriatic arthritis... and the list goes on and on.

In fact, just about the time I was finally "diagnosed" with first MTCD & UCTD.. that turned into RA, Lupus, and the Sjogren's and Raynaud's was showing immediately when the MCTD first became the "name" of what was going on with me. There were two gentlemen (which is rare in the first place for men to have AI illnesses) both of them around the same age, both going to the church we were going to at that time, and both had Grave's Disease. What makes it even more unusual is men for the most part don't have "thyroid" issues either. Usually women have more of a propensity to have any or all of these illnesses and disorders.

So, right there being in a Church, with two guys, both almost the same age, both having Grave's disease was enough for me to absolutely know we had a much larger group of people with autoimmune illnesses. Both of then underwent treatment and both were "cured"... put into remission. My understanding is that once Grave's disease is in remission, that is permanent. Unlike many of the other AI illnesses, they "can" go into remission, but more than likely you will undergo swings of "active" disease symptoms, and then inactivity, yet there are no real "cures" for any of them.

That is why for me, I really would like to find a way, with the help of some of our community leaders, to get a group, or some type of monthly, weekly, however... crowd in a "face to face" type of environment to help them further their knowledge about their own, friends, or loved ones AI illnesses. I also would love to help people and physicians in "learning" how to talk about these diseases, along with how to talk about medications, side effects, long term "goals" or what to expect from having an AI or more than one, and what that will do in the years to come. Will more medication be needed, will hopefully there be more research, and possibly medications coming out? All of the questions that either patients themselves feel it is "wrong" to ask, or for the doctors who honestly are not as well versed on these illnesses, and how they address them to their patients. This includes all medical staff. From the person who answers the phone, to the nurses, lab techs, doctors, and other staff ALL of them need to be very well versed in these dreadful illnesses. For one thing, you maybe "well" and feel fit as a fiddle one moment, and within hours be severely ill and need hospitalization. Often times there is not a "warning" of impending AI and their flares. They can come on within moments, and you don't even know what hit you until it has. Unlike the flu, a cold, and other illnesses where you can certain "symptoms" like a forewarning of being ill, AI's can "attack" at any time they please.

So, when I call my PCP, and the girl that answers the phone is either not aware of my patient status OR she may not know about a "flare" of Lupus... she may insist that I "come in" and be seen. Well, sometimes that is a necessary... but at times, depending on my symptoms, my doctor may allow me to fore go the trip to the office for a visit, and just come in for a corticosteroid injection and a script for a high dose tapering down 14 days round of Prednisone.

Well, as I said, if the woman that answers that phone is "new", and so forth, I may have to make an uncalled for trip to sit in that office, to get the exact same thing I asked for. So, I've exposed myself to other illnesses, especially in the Winter. I've also wasted the doctors time, my time, and caused some other patient who truly may need to have been seen, to wait for a day. So, it is truly unjust for everyone. But, if whom answers the phone either knows me well enough, OR they understand the workings of come of these diseases, he or she may already be on top writing a note, taking down the information so they can talk to the doctor BEFORE making me come in for a totally uncalled for trip.

So, there are many involved in all types of health care that should be very "up" on autoimmune illnesses, diseases, symptoms, medications, and all that wrapping them up in neat newspaper, with a bow around it.

The very latest of challenges that many of us have had to hop over, or will trail and error finally get something nailed into the heads of the medical professionals, far and wide.

Interestingly enough, the UK tends to be "up" on the latest and greatest when it comes to being the leader in new medications, clinical trials, and finding out more than just about anyone around the globe. Often times I've noticed that Britain may have a "pilot" medication in the works. As soon as it is approved by the Brit's, you can bet the USA will be setting for us to jump up, and get to scrambling together researchers, grants and funding, clinical trials, and all on the band wago. What happens often times with a situation such as that. If the "CDC" of Britain signs off on a new medication, it means that the "medication" we put into the hands of researchers here that is basically the same, may not have to cost as much and those types of medications and treatments are sometimes able to be "fast tracked" into production. So, that is great for our economy, great for the Pharmaceutical companies, patients, doctors and so forth, because it gets here, and gets the door, helping to ultimately save lives...which ALL are great events when it comes to those with chronic autoimmune, incurable. painful, night mare diseases.

As 2015 "rolls in", I am hoping it allows me to try and "roll on through" with this blog, with the Ambassador (Platinum) work, and all of the other activist activities I so want to participate in.

Wish me luck as I am preparing to once again try to write the "Ultimate Book"... and get it published. I am also working on the more "fun" book, that will include many of the TX "sayings"... different words and how they tend to have different meanings in the South and in TX.. and many of the what some might call "odd" traditions we engage in here... in the Lone Star State!

Working on a back ground graphic for the top of my Facebook page. I want to include the URL back to here. Often people may not bookmark a page, or like even though I post a "link" back to my blog in the posts, it may get moved down several slots, and then people may not be aware of how to get back to my blog...

Trying to find My Way Back - to What A "Normal" Autoimmune Diseased Life Should Be...

I began this as a post on Facebook early this morning, Sept. 2, 2014. Yet, after writing on it for about a half hour or more, getting up to check on the dog, and my head pounding... it dawned on me, "Get your other stuff caught up... i.e. make some sugar free jello, make the chocolate fudge cake for the weekend, getting the "stuffed peppers" I bought the stuff to make on the day when it was supposed to be cooling down; thus this morning seemed to be the best morning. I had thought about going out to wash my car. I thought if I did maybe rather than continue to "test" and tease us, it would actually rain. Well, so far I was wrong, as it all has done lately. It seems the weather has made many of us hurt terribly. Physicians (some physicians) want to tell us we are full of bull when we say that the "weather" doesn't effect our lives as far as our pain, joints, headaches, and so forth. I know beyond a doubt that from the barometric pressure, to "cool fronts', the humidity, rain, sleet, snow, thunderstorms, you name it, many will more definitely have an effect on chronic pain illnesses, joint issues, and many of the "2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on, disease that follow right along with the primary diagnosis. I had been concerned lately over "Shingles". I have seen way too many of my online friends, as well as close kin folks and friend that have had a breakout of shingles. I found articles stating people that have never had them, have well over 2 to 1 (50%) chance of having shingles if you have an autoimmune illness. I've been concerned over my illnesses because I feel I can't quite find a place of "remission" in any of them. I am on the medications, I am trying to do everything I can correctly, rest, eat well (ah, that one is hard with the teeth issues I have)           This next paragraph or paragraphs if you would like to say below are what I began on Facebook. I copied what I had already typed on and then decided I am going to "stick" to my word. I am going to post the bulk of the post here, then just put a small snippet in FB, with a link back to it here in my Blog. Blogger has made some changes, some good, giving you more options and other than just add chaos & confusion. I was hoping FM would slow down a bit and give people time to catch up. Sure many of us are "hooked" on line 24/7/365. But, all too often we don't have time to sit around and figure out the "new" things on FB, Blogger, and the numerous other sites we "belong" to. It reminds me of all of the stores I frequent here in my home town. About the time you learn how to use your markets check out debit system,  they bring in one that is "better, bigger, more secure" and also confuses the hell out of me. Then you run over to your pharmacy, same thing, now they handle the entire way you check out totally different. Now try to go shopping two or three department stores! Everyone one of them, either has a new "card" for you to sign up and and get 20% discount. Yes, the first time, and then after that, all you get an email box full of junk from them daily. Then they have all of these mark-downs with an "extra 20% off" at the register, and you either have your calculator out, they might be nice and have a "chart" up on the rack telling you what the cost will be after the "extra" is taken off at the register. Anyway, when you are already dealing in trying to keep your sanity with a brain fog that seems to only be getting worse each week; the lists that have now become the lists of lists you need to take care of and LORD forbid I not forget something for someone, a doctors appointment, or even something as trivial as getting "change for the coke machine, or picking up a drink, some kind of soda that if I don't, no one else would think about how thirsty I get when I am having to drive anywhere, and in fact I cannot walk through a huge store like a Wally World's, unless I stop by a front counter and pick up a drink to sip on while I shop.                                                                                                                 

I've been telling this now for awhile to my family and friends. Not only had my physical  issues change, I seem to have slowed down to a crawl at times. My brain cannot function, I feel it takes me forever to get ready, then I look down and there is always something else that needed to be done, or I forgot to put on "the list" .... heck even times I do well to remember the name of a room, or the name of what is in that room! Store names, my own phone number, it seems that may "brain fog" add          


I thought I would post this on FB at first, then changed my mind. I is a combination of several days posts, I began days ago. I changed my mind and want to put it here first, then really tell about these feelings I have on my blog; then share them that way. I will put this on my blog, but it has been on my mind now since I went to Winstar last weekend with my Mom. As most of you know, due to all of my extensive sharing, I LOST ALL of my Teeth to Sjögren's within a year. It sounds almost impossible, and I know from everything I've read and been told, that they "damage" that could not been seen probably had been going on since I was first diagnosed with Lupus, Sjögren's, Raynauds, RA... and who knows what else. That was back in about 2009-10 when the very first real "blood work" was done, and the doctor took ALL of my years of symptoms seriously to put them together. When he did, I was sent immediately to a Rheumatologist. This gentleman, a Rheumatologist no doubt for many, many years, still even used "gold injections" on occasion on patients. But, he was far from a dummy, and further he end  around the corner there in his office to have blood drawn, urine and he did even a more extensive workup on me. But even that first day, just by an examination of my toes, fingers, wrists, thumbs, feet... he "felt" and the saw the damage. He also saw that I had Raynaud's immediately, and I had an "hyper-extension of many of my joints, almost like being double jointed. Even after that first visit, I was so upset that it had probably been going on for years and years.. my Xrays showed my toes and finger joints being bad already, so none of this happened over night, and not one doctor until my new PCP at the time, could ever put ALL of my symptoms together. It was somewhat almost a relief, yet it also very scary also, No telling what had really come of "damage" not detected since it might have been years this was going on, yet no one could explain the severe migraines, the extreme tiredness, the not being able to "multi-task" as I once could, having just about every joint either already been injected or had surgery or even been totally replaced before the age of 50! No one could truly explain how someone, like myself, a very fit woman, (walked, ate properly, exercised daily, kept my weight down, and yet I had a heart attack at 40 years old and another at 50! Nothing made sense, yet no doctor could put it all together either.. what made my new PCP at the time think "autoimmune issues" I don't know... Maybe a conversation I had with him about me thinking I had "Lupus". Anyway something finally "clicked"... thus here I am today, far into the realms of autoimmune illnesses... and the latest issues the Sjögren's... so here I am now 54 (since Feb 15th) ! battling a battle I thought I would never have... losing my teeth and having dentures... and won't hold until the "mini implants can go in, which will be another 60 days or more. I am not going to lie They are a pain in the butt, or mouth I guess. They seem odd, too much "junk" in your mouth, a pain to have to clean, then put in each morning, then have to brush them, clean my mouth and put them in, then out they come at night... you cannot sleep in them. And eating in them for now is almost impossible. Even my "bite" pattern is completely different, which I am thrilled about, because they are "pretty and I wanted pretty teeth all my life, just never realized they would have to be "fake" and not my real ones. But, I honestly felt like once I got these new teeth in they would "fill in" where I had lost many teeth, which in turn would fill out my lips more, my bottom cheeks and lines around my mouth. I was hoping to "see" a bit different maybe even more youthful (by a few years) me.... but guess what? Nope.... did not make that change nearly as much as that as I had so hoped it would. I just was so disappointed, because I did not realize with the scars from the accident years ago, and the two small scars from my fall right around my mouth. I keep thinking, well, like any other woman, there has to be a way to "tighten" up that skin, or "bleach" out those darkened scars. I even went so far as to  begin looking today and am going to research some of these new facial creams out on the market to see which ones really work, and which ones charge a fortune, yet do nothing. I come more and more to realize I must take even better care of my skin. I have always pretty well used the proper things on my face and skin, lotions, I always take my makeup off at night, allow my skin to breathe and so forth. But, I pray quitting smoking will also reduce some of those lines around mouth. I see elderly women who probably smoked all their lives, and they have all of these deep seeded wrinkles around their mouth, and I always said I never wanted to do look that. But, dammit, when the teeth are out, I somewhat do and it upsets and embarrasses me to have anyone see what it truly looks like. I know we all age, some of us more gracefully than others... and depending on how well we have taken care of our bodies, minds and spirits makes a huge difference in the way you look as you age.

So does having these illnesses like Lupus, RA, Sjogren's age us faster? In all ways, in some ways.... what do you think????? I want to know how you feel about the subject and how many of you really take great care of the hair, skin, nails, including your face? If so, how and do you feel it is making a difference??

             

My Very Own Way I Can Show "My" Little piece of the World I "Represent" International Foundation for Autoimmune Arthritis

             Representing International Foundation of AutoImmune Arthritis

I did not get to put these photos up yesterday with the doctors visits and so forth. Holidays, RA, Lupus, pain, stiffness, medications, stress, all rolled up into one huge ball when you are right in the middle of any type of Chronic Pain, Disease, and/or Autoimmune Arthritic Diseases.

I have shared the "story" about this bracelet (that by the way I AM WEARING)! "proudly" I may say also. So, proudly, I find myself not wanting to take it off. So, it is a wonderful idea that there is one of the "rubber types" that come with these. That way I can shower, do laundry, housework, or just about anything, and still have "IFAA" right on my hand, and at my side! Tiffany "hand makes" every one of this original "Buckle Me Up" Bracelets just as she did from the very 1st one. Which is how IFAA took its' first baby steps, into a "Movement" and then quickly to a "Non-Profit" Foundation, which is moving ahead for patients by leaps and bounds! These are a bit "blurry". I took them hurriedly yesterday morning. But, I'll get more today that are clearer and much better. But for now I just have to share these!!!

A bit about my own "Active Volunteer" journey. I happened to have met Tiffany Westrich Robertson, who is the "founder" of what now is known as the IFAA. Through a mutual Facebook friend, I found out about an "art" show that would benefit RA, Lupus, Still's Disease, Juvenile RA. Sjogren's, MCTD, UCTD along with the other autoimmune arthritic diseases that I suffer from, but I also am and have been a very strong ADVOCATE for in getting things changed for us as Patients, Caretakers, Friends, Family, and the Medical Profession. I had sent a message to her about my two published books! I thought they may help the "cause". So, I offered to send a copy of both to her for the "art" show that was to benefit this cause! I got to be friends with Tiffany and follow her life a bit through Facebook. I quickly found out her story about RA, and the same "rivers" that flow way to long before we get out of rushing waters of these illnesses was her journey also. I found out from there about her foundation, volunteering, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt I needed to be an Active Volunteer! Thus here I am.... I share these with you, and they are a proud reminder of the difference I am watching unfold through IFAA!!!!   Rhia


Here is what the beads and the design mean on the "Buckle Me Up" Bracelet as it was called in its' beginning.

The 3 silver beads & 3 black beads represent all people working together to make a difference. Red is the color of strength & signifies the strength we all achieve in numbers. The final silver bead symbolizes moving forward to find more people to join the movement to raise a global awareness about Autoimmune Arthritis diseases ...

"The International Foundation for Autoimmune Arthritis".

The "IAAM" was the "infant" stage of IFAA. Beginning as a "Movement" - it was named "International Autoimmune Arthritis Movement", then "moved" forth to be the IFAA.

So, the "IAAM" means (on the rubbery bracelet)

I am..

A Leader For Change,

Hopeful,

A Believer in Progress,

And Rebranding Stereotypes.

I Am an Advocate for

Autoimmune Arthritis Awareness.

    http://www.IFAutoimmuneArthritis.org

Living Life In An AutoImmune Illness "Zone"....

Life as we have lived it... and now Life as WE that deal with AutoImmune illnesses Live it Differently  - Yet Happily!

As some of you know, I live in TX, just below the Dallas area. WE are having our first blast of very COLD weather today and over the next few days. We are now under a Winter Storm Advisory, with possibly sleet, ice, and some snow. Usually we get more ice than the fun stuff, snow. As I was talking about on FB, how I can "predict" the weather almost better than the forecasters can, the memories came pouring back to me of when I was able to go snow skiing. For years, before I had all of the illnesses happen, we went snow skiing, every year the week of my birthday. It was our annual vacation, that I saved up for as soon as I got home from the one we were on. I put money back in a "Christmas savings" fund every week for the entire year. Part we used for Santa and Christmas and the other was for our trip. Those are still some incredible memories for me. That was a time when I was on those skis, I felt completely "FREE". All of the snow and the forests, and just a quiet feeling of peace always came over me as I started down the mountain. Don't get me wrong... I took some hellacious spills. We always made videos so we could laugh about each other and our "Oh Crap" falls. You knew when one of us was going to take a very funny fall, because "Oh Crap" was all you heard! ;) Anyway, below is the post from Face Book that I wanted to share with everyone here. 

This may not sound like a "post" about autoimmune arthritic illnesses, yet it has all to do with then for me. Now I can no longer snow ski. In fact there are many things that have been crossed off my list, because I no longer do them. Mowing my lawn, and tilling the garden. Going to the lake and being in the sun. Making plans like a trip for something to do months away. I never know even a week before something is planned if I am going to be able to go or not. There are times I feel so bad that I cancel doctors appointments. I am just too fatigued to go, especially if the appointment are in Dallas. 

This comes to the place of why I can't do things any longer. It is certainly not age. There are MANY people I saw on those slopes as Wolf Creek Pass that were in their 70's. I am sure some of them lived close, so they have much more practice. But it is just the point "age" does not necessarily cause someone to stop doing things they enjoy doing. As you are reading this, I am sure you are thinking back to the times that are special to you also. Vacations, visiting family or friends, gardening, riding a bike, just a number of things that so many love to do, and do it. Age is not the factor at all. 

But, having an illness that can even strike when you are very young, in your teens, can stop you from doing many things that you loved to do, or would love to do. Is it a difficult thing to handle? You bet it is. I know I speak for not just myself but ALL of us with an Autoimmune Arthritic Illness, or any type of Autoimmune illness and/or Chronic Pain/Chronic Illnesses such as FM and CFS that also take away so many things in life that either we once took for granted; or at least never gave a thought that we would not be able to do them "the next time". Yet, it can strike anyone. Even though "women" are probably 80 more times or more to come down with one of these illnesses, men are also victims of these diseases. So, they do not discriminate when it comes to gender, age, or race. I have read articles and I am sure to do those studies that African-American people are more prone to these illnesses such as Lupus than other genders. I am sure researchers have been studying that one a great deal to find out why a nationality would make a difference. Also, why so many more women are much more likely to get the disease than men. 

My point to this is one, I did have some great memories flow through my mind when it comes to snowy weather. I also have these "blasting" memories of how much these horrid diseases take away from our lives. From changing relationships, families, jobs, and everything about your life basically, all of us can't help but be angry at times about it. Even though like myself, we come to accept it for the most part, I still feel at times like a piece of me has died... has left me... and changed me forevermore.

WE do learn to deal with it. I have in most ways. You find ways to compensate for what an autoimmune illness takes away. You learn new hobbies, or a different way to do them. You discover another way in a relationship to be close, and educate your spouse, and your family so they will truly understand the "why" of the things you can't do. 

As I often talk about my life, a flowing river, where there are bends, turns, white rushing waters, and then the bridges I flow under. The climb to the top of life's mountain. I scratch, crawl, and inch my way up, and sometimes I slide back down, as the rocks and stones may scar me, I still look up and know that is where I am supposed to be. 

For the rest of the year, and into the next year, I hope each of you who suffer and are inflicted with these still misunderstood life altering illnesses, such as RA, :Lupus, Sjogren's, MS, Still's disease, MCTD, UCTD, JA, pernicious anemia and the 100 other AI diseases out there, can look UP and reach up to see that you also can stand atop your own "life"s mountain".... and reach up to the stars... and feel whole again... even if that means you must "change" how you enjoy life in a new way!!!!


This below is a Face Book post from this morning... I wanted to say it also along with the above writing.... 

 I imagine you are probably getting it up there worse than we are. they have changed the forecast so many times the past week, I was not sure what it was going to do.  But my "bones" always let me know... My thumbs and fingers have been extremely bad this past week or so. Not just pain... now it is more of them not wanting to bend, I have like almost "zero" flexibility. I can't hold onto things That has been going on for a while now. That is partially why I suspected MS along with all of the other ailments. I have just lost so much grip and strength in my hands, arms, fingers, and I notice it lately even in my legs. IF I am up for a long while at the house doing things, or I go to "Wally World" and walk for a long while in there, my legs feel like "rubber bands" of jello ... I feel as if I am going to just collapse. I guess partially illnesses, partially all of the surgeries, and then I guess I have to account for getter older!!! Even though that is NT one I really want to ADMIT!  Kind of like my memory... if I forget, or can't remember, I blame it on the brain fog...  better than saying maybe I have dementia... You stay warm up there and out of this weather... and of course avoid all of the "no driving fools" that try to drive in ice. No way most Texans from in this part can drive on ice. HAHAH Many of them can't drive on dry pavement, much less wet or icy!!! Speaking about "black ice" on the roads. One year we were coming home from snow skiing in Pagosa Springs, CO... at Wolf Creek Pass (some great memories of snow skiing for me)... we left Santa Fe... and already knew it was a possibility the roads could be bad. We got to the main highway from Santa Fe (I-40) to head to Amarillo state and all of a sudden we felt the van just slip a little... it was a solid sheet of thin ice on the roads and of course you can't see it. Anyway, we slowed down to a crawl. In fact we happened to have borrowed a friends van so we sure as heck did not want to be in a wreck, much less a friend's vehicle.. suddenly here comes an 18 wheeler SIDEWAYS beside us just flying past. He jackknifed it into the medium and then here comes several cars, and they were not expecting it. Each one that went around us were in the ditch when we got up ahead. In fact, we drove on to Amarillo, but it took us something like 12 HOURS to get there. We called 911 and reported the accidents, but the entire way there were cars and 18-wheeler in the ditches. It was nuts. Believe me I felt that the Lord was helping to drive that van for sure.

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