Okay, well I've missed out a couple of days dammit with this stomach
mess. Not sure what is gong on. But, I do KNOW I am SICK of it! I am a
bit better today so far. I've tried to not drink or eat anything I think
might be causing it so badly. The vertigo just has to run its course
usually then gets better. What I am concerned about, is why this time it
is so bad, and why the meds I take for it are not calming it down as
usual. I am still doing some research myself and I am sure since I am
honestly WAY OVER DUE for A scope to check out my esophagus and stomach,
that will probably be where I am headed. I know I have Barrett's
Esophagus. I really should have had it scoped again over a year or more
ago. But, with everything else, I keep having to postpone it. Now with
all of the problems I have, I am concerned if the dysplasia, where my
actual stomach lining grows out of the stomach and into the bottom part
of the esophagus, and can cause cancer. But, I just dread any other
"surgeries" etc> I am so literally sick of doctors, medications,
insurance, pharmacies, no one can get their crap together. I've had an
ulcer before thus one of the reasons I am on Nexium, plus of course
GERD. but even the Meclazine I take for nausea and the motion vertigo.
It just seems what ever is going on, still to me is totally separate
from the Lupus, Sjogrens and RA. One good piece of news! MY ORENCIA
FINALLY CAME IN today! After being off of it for at least three weeks, I
feel may have some to do with how I've felt this past couple of weeks.
When you begin to research Lupus, Sjogren's, RA, FM, ME CFS. and any and
all of the other AI illnesses from MS to Diabetes 1, there can be a
million symptoms, all of them similar, and they may or may not have to
do with the autoimmune illnesses. Of course the problem I can already
tell from that is patients (meaning us) and our doctors, whether PCP,
Rheumatologists, or other specialists, tend to get "lackadaisy" and
"automatically" no pun intended blame it on Lupus, RA, and so forth. So,
each time a new "symptom" arises, all too often I feel it is kind of
"'blown off" as to whether there is something "new" causing the new
symptoms, or is it indeed the AI's. I realize that is is very difficult,
and in some cases probably almost impossible to defer one from the
other. Even with many types of tests, lab work, studies, and so on,
still there may not be an "answer" other than due to one of the AI. That
is scary though. What if, and I am just "saying" what if myself, or
anyone with stomach issues and the nausea, vertigo and so forth left it
unchecked, and went on either with the doctor knowing or just figuring
on our own, it was "just the AI" and more symptoms, and it was something
worse? What if it were stomach cancer, or some type of other cancer
such as leukemia, or the GERD had really done a number on my esophagus
and that dysplasia is much worse than it was. Or what if it is yet
another autoimmune illness, or any number of other chronic diseases that
can start out with the exact same types of symptoms. So, even though
none of us want to jump the gun per se', running off to our doctors each
time one little thing pops up or changes, plus we are all in the place
that, oh well, they will blame it on the Lupus anyway, yet something
else that may need other treatment, surgery etc done. A great for
instance was my double hernia's early last year. I was told by three
different doctors those "lumps" were nothing to be concerned about, and
they more than likely were not hernia's. Then I still feel uneasy, so I
go to a surgeon, who sure enough says right off it is not just one
hernia, but I had two... one on each side...So, had I listened to those
first 2 or 3 medical doctors who just seemed to not want to really find
out for sure, they blew me off. Then I do find out I have hernia's just
as I had suspected all along. We for the most part, have a "gut"
feeling, again no pun intended, about our bodies. For those of us with
chronic illnesses, we especially tend to watch out like a hawk for any
type of new symptom, or something that seems to be "off" and not quite
right. Yet, often times I know for myself, I go into the physician's
office, and I just feel like if I am going to get the same old answer,
it is the "Lupus", "RA" etc... then why... and if it isn't or they feel
it may not be, then here goes the 50 "shades of Testing" that runs up
expenses, and takes away our precious time. Even with many new tests,
there still may not be any "one" answer, if one at all. I have found
that even with the double vision, that started so suddenly out of no
where, and has gotten to where I have it all the time, unless I wear my
corrective glasses with the prisms in them, I have constant double
vision. Some of you may recall the entire ordeal I went through for at
least 6 to 9 months or more. I saw 2 or 3 different eye specialists, a
couple of different neurologists, my Rheumy, my PCP, and in between I am
sure probably someone else. I also went through exam after exam, test
after test, loads of blood work and even a "biopsy" on my temporal
artery. The specialist felt I had temporal arteritis, and it did make
sense. But, the very treatment for it was something I was already
taking, just not in as high of a dose as they use on that illness. So, I
also found out the biopsy comes back all too often "inconclusive" thus I
may have had it, but they didn't really get the exact YES, but it was
not "negative" either. It took months and months, a couple of different
pair of glasses, and just all kinds of neurological testing. One of the
Neurologists said he felt I had Myasthenia Gravis which is another
autoimmune disorder, and that will cause the symptoms I had and also
explain where and why they were showing up at that time. Yet, still
there is no one exact science about Myasthenia Gravis either. Just like
MS, which I could have also, still there is one test that they can do,
and again it is not always "exact"... It might be negative, and I still
have MS, or I may show up positive, and be negative in reality. So, as
we hold hands, together one next to the other, remember for one, you are
never alone... there is someone out here, that can empathize with you,
and totally understands because they are also experiencing some of the
same things, whether it be illnesses, or any other number of other
explanations. You can bet money on that there are one or usually many
more of us with the same situation. Gosh, I can count on my hands, toes,
50 times over at the number of people who have been down almost the
same road as I and the rest of us have. I've managed to feel "well
enough" today to get some cleaning done, baked a lemon pound cake, did
some other cleaning here there and yonder, vacuumed, and even colored my
hair (of which I am not thrilled, it is way much darker than the last
time I did it with the red).... but I also know it will fade out pretty
quickly, and then won't be so very deep red... the color I used before
came from Avon, and they quit making the product line! Plus I didn't
keep the number or part of the box so I could try and match it up and I
picked what I thought would be close, but it is still much deeper
reddish/almost maroon than I expected.... so I hope maybe, my stomach is
settling down, along with the stupid headache. I need to run errands
and get to the market tomorrow, so I need all of the "wellness" I can
get hold of for tomorrow. It will be one of those busy days. Anytime I
head to the market and have a "list"... a long list, and then coupons,
that means a longer trip that runs into hours if I have lots to stock up
on and to use coupons on....
