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What in the World is going on in our World???? And How Do We Feel Now About putting our "Medical Life stories" out there to help others?

I've kept quiet for the most part when it comes to politics, all of the terrorists horrid and unspeakable acts, and all that goes along those things, from emails being "hacked" to the nightmare of situations in Britain, we "swear" we are not going to "cow" down to these happenings and allow them to change our lives,

Yet that HAVE! They have changed the way we live forever. More people purchasing things to protect themselves, whether it be a gun, tazer, baseball bat, or a large heavy flashlight. I am not trying to be "funny" but there are those that are not as thrilled about some types of things for protection, so like myself, I do have a baseball bat, Mace, a small Tazer, and I do have a very HEAVY flashlight.

What really has come to my attention through all of the "political" dilemma and all of the horrid things happening in our county, from Florida to California, to right new me in the Dallas TX area, is that people are now so "cautious" and concerned for their "Well Being" from those who may want to harm us, that things like our own "health matters" seem to be put on the back burner.

I have noticed that all too often there is SO MUCH taking up the internet, the television, everywhere we turn, that anything to do with health, from heart attacks, to RA, Lupus, and other Autoimmunity or Arthritic Illnesses seem to not be mentioned as much.

In fact, I feel that many of us feel "off" trying to discuss our medications, especially pain medications. Here I have been a blogger for many years, and have a Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and other forms of online things where I can reach out to others, yet I am almost in "fear" of talking about pain medications. They have gotten such a horribly bad "rap" that some of our very own "key words" we may use in a post on any of these, you worry if they could be misunderstood, or taken in the wrong context. 

I've often said that I try to stay away from talking or writing about "politics" and anything to do with "religious beliefs"... those things are very, very personal for many, and while some can tell their stories about their religious beliefs, there are some that feel it is a private matter. They may not want to talk about it with someone "online".... and if you do, then you kind of wonder if you could be "targeted" again for making a statement that could be taken wrong.... by anyone.

We also feel that used to like myself, I could put my story and "myself" out there online, not worrying about "hacking", or someone getting mad, or you even be "targeted" or watched and now even with medical things, at times I find myself almost "neutering" my own feelings and my own illness issues.

My issues lately have been since I've had the cervical neck surgery that was so much more in depth than we thought, I've not been able to really sit and type much. Thus I've kind of had to be a bit less here online... but then you hear and see things on the television, news, online, and you have to at times wonder if you really want to "give out" as much about yourself, as you may have 10 years ago....

Something to definitely ponder. .... YOUR THOUGHTS.. would be welcome....

Day 1 - #HAWMC - WEGO- Health 30 Day Blog Challenge - What drives us to BLOG!? (running a bit behind)

WEGO Health Blog/Writer's Challenge Day 1 #HAWMC

I've been a "driven" writer since I was abut 13 years old. I began writing poetry back then, and a few short stories. I was even the "editorial" writer for our High School Newspaper. I took on a few tough subjects, from "Holes in our student parking area", to giving our students more of a challenge when it came to subject matter and getting us ready for what we would face in the real world; after high school and college.

I continued to write in "handwritten" form, before computers. I have notebook after notebook filled with my writing. I have most of them still with me, and have been able to put much of the material on the computer.

At the age of 14, I had a neighbor who was a RN at our local hospital. I seemed to "soak up" everything that was "medical" in nature. I volunteered as a "Candy Volunteer, I guess then called a "striper" and I stood beside her every chance I had spending all of my free hours learning about the medical world. From watching them deliver babies, to taking care of those babies and Moms, and learning at that time how to "pack instrument" packs, because back then most instruments were not "disposable". We had certain instruments for certain surgeries that had to be cleaned, disinfected, wrapped together, then put in an "autoclave" that sterilized them further to be used in surgeries.

From there, my mind was made up, I would be in the medical field. Of course things change, and I got out of high school early, wanted to go to work, and married young. We had my son 2 years later, but by the time I was about 22, I knew that is not what I wanted for my life. I went on to divorce my 1st husband, and then was a single Mom, with bills to pay, and went to work at a bank in Dallas. Still I was restless because I was not doing what I felt was my calling, my heart's work, and what I was supposed to be doing in my time here. I left the bank, remarried a couple of years later, got some college under my belt, and went to work in a hospital, but in the business office.

Those 6 years there made me know even more that I wanted to find a way to be in the medical field, more hands on, and not behind a desk collecting money from sick people.
Yet, again, even after having an offer from the hospital for them to fully pay for me to go to college and get my LVN degree, at that time, I had two younger kids in school, and was unable to go to school full time, and support my family also. Oddly, enough, I went ahead and took the "entrance exam" to get into the nursing program and passed it as #1! That made it even more difficult for me to pass up the opportunity. I not only had the drive, I had the offer to pay for my classes, then work for that hospital for a year to "pay back" a portion of my college. Then I could have went any direction I pleased. Yet, family came first, and with a heavy heart I declined that opportunity.

I was friends with a woman that was the head of nursing there, and there were days she was almost unable to walk. Her feet would hurt so badly, she could barely stand on them. I found out she had Rheumatoid Arthritis. That and another young woman that worked in the hospital pharmacy, had a type of "stomach issue" autoimmune in nature, that there was little known about, much less on how to treat it, and give her the life back she wanted.

All those years I continued to fill notebook after notebook of my writing and poetry. That was the one "steady" in my life, my writing. I did go to college, and took accounting classes and business classes, and almost had my degree in business. I was struck with Migraines, that were horrific. Over the years they would make me so ill, I would miss work for days at a time. I never "hid" that I had the headaches, but I could not predict when and how long they would come on and last. In fact, I lost several jobs either having to resign jobs, due to missing so much work because of the headaches, and other health issues, including needing surgery on several joints. I had painful problems with my knees, shoulders, hands, and elbows. Again, missing work for surgeries on painful joints, in my 30's that the doctors could not really explain.

I had went to a "pain specialist" long before they were really heard about, mainly to see if he could help the migraines. I had injections into the occiptal nerves in my neck, was hospitalized, had every test available, yet no doctor could put the pieces together as to what was "wrong" with me.

At 40 years old I was an avid exerciser, daily, I ate only healthy foods, watched every pound of my weight, and did everything "right" for my health. Yet on January 8th 2001, I suffered a heart attack.

After that, doctors began "speculating" what was medically wrong, and a huge amount of "stress" was a portion of it. My 2nd marriage although lasted 15 years, put me in a horrific "trauma" day after day, and that stress my doctors seemed to feel was what partially caused my MI at such an early age.

I began to have tests, be able to see better and more advanced physicians, and around the age of 45 I had a young PCP, who finally put the pieces together, along with the proper blood work and finally was open minded enough, to "listen" to me. He found out that I had some "type of autoimmune issue"(s). He sent me directly to a Rheumatologist, who ran more tests, and determined I had MCTD, or possibly Lupus, RA, Sjogrens' & Raynauds.

I had already discovered a whole new era in "writing". Online communities, of people such as I, and that my "writing" could really be helpful through these communities, through my own "blogging" (at the time I really did not even understand what a blog was) and that even though I never was able to go into the medical field to help people on a plane such as a nurse, doctor, or in research. I COULD bring my story as well as a great deal of information to so many others such as myself, that were severely in need of answers, of the questions to ask their doctors, of information on new medications, and through other telling them their own stories.

Thus, my writing and medical "knowledge" finally came together about 10 years ago, and I began to "help" others through my own frustrations and information about the diseases they had been told they had, but were frightened to even ask their physicians for more information.

So, out of my own Chronic Pain, many surgeries, dealing with several autoimmune illnesses, tests and knowledge, was born my own blog, and my own way of helping those who are in such need for someone "listening" and truly understanding their problems.

Holidays, Illnesses, trying to cope and hope for a 2016 to be MUCH BETTER, and How to survive the attacks on so many & wonder what will happen here...

IT is difficult NOT to talk about the horrific violence in France last night. The scope of what the terrorists have been able to accomplish and all under the "radar" is one frightening situation. I realize our "security" since 9/11 is much improved. We know this by going to an airport, or even to one of our courthouses, I saw it on Capitol Hill in 2014. Yet, with all of our "intelligence" and capabilities, and as many events like this we have "thwarted" it still remains that no one is "completely and utterly" safe in our world anymore. Once again they have been able to blow up a plane with so many on board, and now again attacks in several locations, all well planned and thought out by these inhumane beasts, and even in a small town such as this one, you have to wonder which place will be next? Alas, there are so many other things going on in life, we remain such a busy nation, a busy world, to try and put your "life" on hold, due to madmen out and about it not an easy thing to do. After such dread and violence, and seeing the carnage they have left behind, as the number of deceased has grown to over 160 souls, and possibly more to come, at times it makes you want to crawl under your house and stay there... but as I said we are a town, a state, a nation and a world with so many things to do, and I think as something like this happens, it makes us feel an "urgency" to even be more abrupt in accomplishing our goals and aspirations. We have this sense of "what if" thus we become more wrapped up in the things we have began and want to finish, or what we have put off, all too often we feel as if there is "no tomorrow" thus we find ourselves muttering about, and scurrying around like the squirrels do in my yard and trees, getting ready for the Winter's cold.... we try and ready ourselves more for life, and also for the possibility that if we don't "live", we have made our "mark on the world".....

 

 

 

 

next portion....

 

now, that I have the post about the "violence in France down below started" (I am quite sure I will add to it), I wanted to say a bit about the entire ordeal and state of things right here in my own home.... first of all and I am sure for the very 1st time, I ALREADY HAVE MY CHRISTMAS TREE UP!!! I am quite sure I have beat my daughter, who always puts hers up the weekend after Thanksgiving! But, I had decided since we did not even get a tree up last year (mainly due to illness at the time) and it was difficult to get the huge tree down from the attic (which I still have to get up there and get some things down, to get rid of actually)... so I decided since it is just myself and Bub's right now, I would buy a smaller tree, and decorate it mainly with all of the sleigh bells we accumulated over some 13 years or so. I actually bought one last year, and then I bought one earlier this year, and both of those I had out and not in my camphor wood chest. So, the lights, a few sparkling red bows, and two of the sleigh bells are already on it. I turned it on last night, while Bub's and I watched a Christmas movie (yes Hallmark Channel is my all time favorite, especially this time of year) LOL!, and it was so nice to have just the lights from the tree and the sparkling from the glitter on the bows, and the way it almost danced in the living room over the entire room. It is only a 4 foot tree, so it is not nearly as huge as the other one. In fact, I am not sure it will hold ALL of the sleigh bells! They are pretty big! But, I have some of the ornaments and a few things in the chest, so that way I don't have to try and get into the attic right now to hunt for Xmas decor. I am going to have to brave going up there, and pulling some things out, some to get rid of, and I probably may have some boxes of papers to shred up there, and some other things that need to be taken down, plus I probably need to put some of the "mouse peanut butter bars" as I call them up in there. They tend to like the insulation to hide in for the Winter. Thus, I put the type of stuff up there that keeps them from smelling if one eats it .... LOL!!! IF one gets in this house, I may vacate it for weeks!!!!! HAHAHA, but I can say I did pretty good with those darned salamanders this year. Between the "spray" I made with Hot pepper sauce and tea tree oil, and my trusty "several" fly swatters, I kept them almost out of sight on the porch also. I found out about the tea tree oil and putting Tabasco sauce in a spray bottle, and boy you spray one with that, for one they fall, and for the next, they usually are deterred from coming back... nothing will "kill them".... I found out they are probably all over in the cracks between my siding and windows etc... during the Summer, they spread quite prolifically, when I finally found out about what they were, thanks to my Vet, Venetia Shafer at Bluebonnet City Veterinary Clinic who we got to see yesterday! Bub's did so well! I was so proud of him. Last time we went to get his nails trimmed, he "snapped" at Penny, her assistant, so I had to "muzzle" him, and that just about killed me... I had tried several years back to muzzle him at home and cut them, but I just could not stand putting the muzzle on him.. he HATES his feet touched... but so did Tazzy! She was just the same... she was so laid back and easy going, but she hated her feet touched... anyway, I held him yesterday and Penny talked to him, and he actually did not have to be muzzled, and did so well. I think because I "talked to him" before we left, and told him he had to be a sweet boy, plus we also talked a bit before we even went into the room to get him up on the table, he was so engrossed in everything else, his nails were cut, and he got his rabies shot, before he knew what was going on!!! So, he got one of his favorite bones when he got home, and he was so worn out... last night he acted as if he had ran a marathon! I had walked him for a bit up and down the sidewalk in town before we went into the Vet office, and I think he was so totally exhausted, he was even panting... and he rarely pants.... he is more cold natured -

Anyway, of course I face going to the "wound care specialist" at the end of next week, on Thursday.... and honestly, I think both of the abscesses are looking a bit better finally. But, I fear I am allowing them to close too much, too quickly... and that would mean they could still have infection on the inside... they are not closed off yet, and I have not allowed them to do that, but the right one especially is so terribly tender, it is really difficult to "dig" in it as I was able to do with the left one the first time...

Anyway, I have been contemplating writing my annual Christmas Letter, and due to all of the "crap" that has happened this year, I am not sure I really want to write it... but I shall do some thinking about it, to see if I can come up with a bit of a positive spin on some things, and then see about writing it. I've been doing this now for gosh, many, many years. I have a cousin in TN, that did it and still does, and I kind of picked it up from her's that I saw when I was younger, and she still writes them, but both her and her husband are much older than me, and I know neither of them are in good health.... so I hope she is able to do one this year. Anyway, I don't want to sound like "Scrooge" or the "Grinch" in a Xmas letter, but with all that has taken place this year, kind of difficult to find the "higher road"..... anyway, once I finish the tree, I will put some pics up... of course when my daughter gets hers up I will share those also... she always has such a spectacular tree! It looks like it should be in a magazine, or dept store window like Macy's.... :) I guess she got her decoration habits from me... my home used to be decorated in every room, when the kids were smaller... even the kitchen and bathrooms had decorations... and we usually had trees in both kids rooms, as well as the living room.... I always had the table set with my Christmas China, and linen napkins and tablecloths... it was always a memorable time of year for sure.....