Denise, you are so welcome, and I so treasure our friendship. You always have a smile for me, no matter how badly you have to be feeling. I relate a "bit" to the chemotherapy, just due to the same types of medications they are using for the RA and Lupus. But, I know all of the side effects that go along with much larger doses of most of them, can make you feel so horribly tired, and really probably ready for the sofa than on your feet at WG... yet you always do just as the others have said, have a smile, a kind word, and for that you bless each soul that comes in and who has a chance to get to speak with you. Jim and I have just been so uplifted by your prayers, the card was just awesome for Jim, he talks about it all the time, and he got it from you just when he was having a down moment in the hospital. So, again you were "there" in words and spirit when he needed that so much. It is so very, very difficult to watch someone close to you have to go through so much "drama" to say the least in life. I still find myself "questioning" why? Why you? Why Jim? Why myself, and the many, many other people that are just kind, honest, and want to bring something "good" into the world have so much physical, mental, and/or emotional pain? I try so hard to not let that show, and I also try NOT to feel like my own health issues, and now with Jim's... that in public, I don't want to "burden" others with the sometimes gory, and sometimes almost down right unbelievable things that have happened to us, especially since about this past Christmas. I know some must think I am just nuts, and there is no way myself, Jim, friends like you... could have to succumb to so much, so quickly, and without a "break". My own health issues have just in themselves even brought my pain doctor to tears just last week, when I told him how much had happened since he filled my pain pump just over three months ago. Then when I tell him about Jim's plight in the midst of it, he was just stunned. He stood their shaking his head and saying he sometimes just can't believe people have to endure such hardship, whether in physical illnesses, emotional and family issues, and all of the mental anguish that some of us have to go through in life. I am sure him being a pain specialist and someone who served in the armed services as a physician, before his own practice he has
seen and does see so many people suffer so much. And what truly makes that almost sad, is the very thing he wants to do in being a Pain Specialist, is HELP HIS PATIENTS... yet due to ALL of the rotten insurance companies, the government fingers all over Medicare, Medicaid, the Medicare Advantage Plans, such as mine, and those that come in desperately needing relief, yet they have no insurance, and just the cost of one medication could be more than anyone could afford in a month! He talks about it frequently, and he is very open about his feelings in how he cannot serve his patients as well as he wants, due to mainly the governments fingers in it all. Those doctors in a setting like him, with an office staff that is at least 7 or 8 people, all of the salaries and so forth, and I know by looking at what my Advantage plan "pays" him, honestly, he probably "loses" money on just me for one, when he fills my pump!!! I know for a fact he was when they were having to still do it over at the hospital in outpatient! They got "what little was paid" but most of that was MY OWN MONEY for my co-pay for outpatient! He was not getting a dime for months and months. Then after winding out of the bureacratic red tape of the government (that by the way MAKES HIM have special software in his office on his computers if he has Medicare patients that costs him something like 75,000.00 or more just at the beginning! So, finally after over a year of fighting over the "rules" of the games played, he can now refill my pump in the office. But. still he really only makes again about what comes out of "my pocket" which is the $40.00 co-pay. My insurance basically makes him "write off" the majority of the costs. Well, he nor any doctor can do a good job and try to "do no harm" as their oath says, when they either have to overload their practice with so many patients in order just to pay the bills, OR only take so many, cutting the rest of us out... for instance, and we are seeing it more and more with my Advantage Plan and now with the help for Jim... the doctors are turning away even Medicare patients! They simply are going broke... when a doctor like himself puts a pain pump in a patient like mine, his costs are high of course. But,, when he has to wait 2 YEARS, yes I said 2 YEARS & finally a "judge" tell Medicare to pay him for those patients, it is no wonder they are having to not take patients with these types of health coverage anymore. For that, it is almost blasphemy of our constitution, when we as a nation refuse to "HELP OUR OWN PEOPLE" stay well and out of pain!!! I witness this type of stuff daily due to the advocacy, volunteer, and ambassador I try to help out with as much as possible. I try my best to GIVE VOICE to ALL of US & I also mean people with "regular" health insurance also. I KNOW how much my own type of infusion medication for just ONE infusion costs, and what they expected ME to pay out of my own pocket! And I am supposed to have 2 infusions, 2 weeks apart, every 4 to 6 months! I am looking at over $1,500.00 for ONE!!!! So, I can imagine the financial burden you have to be enduring with your types of medications, doctors and the care you need!!!! I was relieved to see they are putting on another "event" for you! I just know those financial costs start soaring when you must have to have that type of care. It is as I said almost blasphemy to the American People! We can take millions of dollars over to other countries to help them, but we can't even FIRST take care of our own people!!! And I am certainly ALL FOR HELPING out other countries, I realize MANY of them are in much more burden, with basically no health care, and when we can any and all of the nations that can afford it should help out. BUT!!!! NOT BEFORE we GIVE OUR OWN RIGHT HERE what they need first! Take care of those that are right here, for instance our own food bank had a huge article in the local paper last night, pleading for money! They usually ask for donations of non perishables, good used clothing etc... but they came out and thanked all of us for the donations from the postal service we just did, BUT they are basically OUT OF MEAT! Things that are perishable, and they usually have enough finances to squeeze by for, now they are just about broke when it comes to providing our own in our community one of the basic things they need nutrition wise. It just made me so sad and mad that a community such as ours (and I know many families are strapped and cannot give, because they are the very ones that NEED the help) but we have enough corporate sponsorships, & those that can donate. Yet, as we all know just as I said about even some physicians, the entire nation, the entire world, is strapped for cash, as far as us "down" near what I am sad to say, but it is the truth "poverty level". Anyway, enough of my "rambling", except for the fact I am "able" at least for this moment "able to ramble" again. Honestly, I have felt my "voice" that allows me to write etc... had possibly left for good. But, one moment of being able to express my thoughts, even though they are rambling... is a good thing Rhia
