Hoping a better 2018! Lupus flare, RA flare, Flu virus, Chronic Pain severity, epidemic, wishing for a better year than since 2014 wanting to get back to writing, blogging and advocacy work

Putting "hopefully" my writing, posting, advocacy and writing areas of my life back in the forefront. The past two years, really more like since late 2014, seem to have been a nightmare. 

I've had good things happen, but losing two of my fur-babies, my Mom getting ill so quickly and passing away in 6 months, losing my Mom's "baby" sister, losing my marriage and not sure why yet, having a pain pump replaced, having a fractured hip and spending Christmas 2016 in the hospital and inpatient rehab, the a very complicated neck surgery in April 2017 that took me months to just get out of a hard collar with, and now my Lupus and RA are really giving me heck... much more but those are a few of the "highlights" that really put my several years previously in a spot where I felt I would NEVER be able to get back to my advocacy, activism, writing, blogging, posting... and the things I want and love to do... And I am still going through stuff health wise, my neck is really hurting again, and has been, but my shoulder as I say below, that has already had a complicated replacement began acting up, right after the last neck surgery. We have changed RA medications trying to get the RA flares under control, and my lower back and legs really beginning to bother me again...

I am not sure if the ridiculous weather we are having is a huge factor, but generally the WEATHER has always had a huge impact on me, when it comes to chronic pain, and migraines.... way before I could ever get a physician to "agree" with me, I KNEW the weather effected my severe migraines when they were so bad for over 20 years of my early life. 

Now all doctors and health professionals agree that the weather, temperature, humidity, erratic weather, cold one day, hot the next, all of those things and the barametric pressure have sometimes severe effects on many illnesses, especially chronic pain...

I ASK that each of you the "follow me" here, on my daily newspaper, through Facebook, Twitter or wherever to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as the year progresses. I REALLY want to get back to those things such as my writing and blogging... more on the advocacy side, but even sitting here at the computer puts me in such pain at times, there are days it hurts to sit, stand, walk, lie, no matter what I do, it is severe on some days, and here lately MORE days than not....

BELOW is a POST from my Facebook page, where I had been commenting to a friend of mine who is going though some frightening issues with her liver, and her Diabetes. So, as I posted this, I wanted to "add" it here also... my numbers honestly here on my blog have fallen so much, and I know the holidays effects that, but also me not able to post as much, put up as much relevant information as I usually do... I desperately need to update the look and feel... I know it's getting outdated, and it is a matter of having the time to do those things, and those are what I really want to be able to work on....

I APPRECIATE those like yourself, that give back the feeling that "I matter"... I try my best to let others know I do appreciate each one of you that take time to even give a "thumbs up" I realize not all of us have time, or feel like Posting, but I always know someone "cares" by just a heart, a thumbs up, or a "face".... you too I realize have been through so much. I have to "say something" about a "comment" I read the other day. Some one made a comment that Facebook is NOT THE PLACE to "post your personal problems"????? WHY would we "want to connect here at all" if we were not looking for others either like ourselves that "need that extra push up" every once in a while, or to "see" we are NOT alone in this come and when I "post" personal issues, which health is very personal I think, 

I am NOT looking for an answer or someone to totally agree with me, or what, it is MY way, like my blogging and writing (partially)... the social media is a way to connect for many reasons, but since I have "no really close family or friends physically that I can "see" ) my son and daughter are about the only "close family" I have left, and my daughter is 8 hours away and we talk probably at least 3 or 4 times a week, but she cannot just "drop her kids, family and husband" to run 8 hours up here, and although my son lives close by, he has his own things also, he has been fighting with "FM" now for a long while, so he is trying to re-educate himself, by some short classes, where he can do certain jobs, that the ones he used to do, due to the FM he no longer can do, lots of very hard physical labor... even though he is 37, age as many of us know with some of these horrid illnesses, syndromes, chronic pain issues and so forth, AGE has nothing to do with it.... so he sends me messages, and if I NEED him, he could be with me quickly, and we keep up with each other, 

BUT he also knows ME, I really 'don't want" the feeling that I have to have someone doing everything for me. I LIKE doing all that I CAN DO myself... and it is hard for me to even ask for help, because all the years I did everything, from hanging ceiling fans, to painting, any kind of home improvement just about, the lawn, and so many things I've loved to do, I KNOW that even since my cervical neck surgery last April, I have "overdone" some stuff. I PRAY my neck is not messed up again, or my right shoulder, that ever since the neck surgery, it is the RIGHT ONE that has already been totally replaced by a "reverse total shoulder replacement" about 6 years ago, I think, but it has given me hell ever since the last neck surgery... of course I realize 'some things" I had been doing I've had to "stop" and either let my son do it, or my neighbors help some, or I just let it go, knowing it can wait, other than an emergency thing at the house, some things that I just could NOT stand to "let go" I've had to and I am STILL learning to "let them go"... but being alone with the pups now, I do as many things as I feel like, or that I can do, if possible.... yet trying to learn to say "no" I can't, or sit down and say I just hurt too badly today, etc... those are very hard things for many of us to do... not in our "genetic makeup" :)

Fourth of July Already here, Time flies by too quickly, Cervical neck ongoing getting well over surgery, lumbat/sacral surgery, osteoporosis,bursitis.RA,osteoarthritis, and living....

SUNDAY ALREADY! SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE HOW THE DAYS, WEEKS AND MONTHS ARE FLYING BY SO QUICKLY. I am so "bored" with everything. I did put up my window "cling" that looks like stained glass. I love it, found it when I first moved into this house and put it on my front windows. It has been there about 10 years or really I guess more like 11 years, and it still looks awesome. So, I decided to put it on more windows, especially those that face where the sun comes in especially in the evenings. It looks wonderful and comes off easily, never fades, and does look like stained glass. I have 3 brand new mini blinds, that I've had for weeks for the office. One of mine was just about to come to pieces so I ordered all three new, so they would be the same. The others were old and getting to where even trying to wash them would be nuts. 

The less expensive ones are much to difficult to try and wash, and it is less hassle and cheaper to just buy new ones, since these have probably also been here 10 years or more. Right now after the rain from day before, and the cloudy weather over the past several days everything is so wet, between rain and dew, it's hard to get outside. I thought about going over to the walkway the city built buy one of the small lakes, not far from me... I broke down and bought new athletic shoes, Sketchers, a couple of weeks ago to walk in. I have some but they were really not enough support to walk very far in, so I broke down and bought better ones since I really need to be walking as much as possible. But, my street is so damned bumpy, and narrow, it's difficult to walk down it, and not get ran over. 

People run the stop sign right here at my corner one house down from me, and it's a wonder someone has not killed someone as fast as they drive down this street, especially with the kids out of school and the ones on their bikes, that are too young to really be riding out there with no parent supervision, but I see it all the time. A week or go, I looked outside and one little girl, about maybe 8 to 10 was riding right down the middle of my front lawn!!!! I was so pissed, and stepped out and told her I had better not see her, nor any of her friends riding through my lawn again! Parents don't watch and don't care, they just let them do as they please. It was so rude, and I told her, don't you know it's rude to go through someone's yard without permission? She just stared at me, and finally rode off. 

Anyway, I am not sure about the whole hip and thigh pain. I am thinking now since "both" hips have pain in them, and almost in the same spot, my left one I can trace the pain in it... and I think I may have either bursitis in both of them (which I have had before I broke the right hip) and have had them injected before, a couple of times. In fact about 4 years ago, I did have severe pain with both of them, and my orthopedic surgeon at that time, did inject the both of them at the same time. A bit later, my new Orthopedic surgeon, who does my neck, and did my right shoulder replacement told me it is my lower back making my hips hurt, and L-5 and S-1 and bursitis may or may not be the problem. I surely don't look forward to any other spinal surgery, especially lower spinal surgery, since so many horror stories come out of back surgery. 

But they have improved their process, the way the do the surgery, and what they have including "artificial discs" they can put in place of discs that have ruptured. That is what they did with my neck in the first surgery. One of the levels, he put a disc in place. The other are "fused" with cage and chips of bone from the bone spurs I had, rather than using artificial materials, or donor bone, they try and use your own, even if they remove it from a hip. I read they can do that, but with me having such severe osteoporosis, I imagine they don't take a chance of getting bone from any place else on me. Of course after the fracture to the right one, they would not touch it, but my issue is after reading, I am wondering down the line if I may have to have a total hip replacement, where he repaired it with the gamma nail and screws. I've read and that maybe what is already happening, that hip is developing arthritis in it, after the fractures and repair. 

So, between bursitis, which can even be "infectious" where they have to drain it, and probable arthritis, that could be what is causing pain in the right one, and my left one maybe effected by either osteoarthritis, or even the RA, which is what my 1st cousin had, RA that caused him to have finally both hips totally replaced. I've been trying to keep up and keep busy, but when you cannot or should not do things where you have to hold anything over your head heavy, etc, it's difficult to find things to do.... after having my neck in the brace for so long, I have come to realize how much you do that effects you having to move your neck up, down, sideways, and every which way, from driving, to putting up these blinds, to even sitting at the computer, potting plants, and even laundry, cooking, cleaning... you name it, even taking a shower, or like me wanting to have my hair cut, she usually has to have me bend my head forward to get it short and cropped in the back, but I need it cut so badly, so I may have to have her improvise, cut it and just do as much as she can without me having to bend my head forward etc... I don't think I can go another week with it as crappy as it looks. 

Honestly, I've almost thought about "razoring" the top and sides myself. I do usually when it is cut very short, and she razors it. So, I've thought about using mine and just get the horrible ends off of it, until I can see her. I just don't want to "chop" on it too much and then she can't cut it like I want. I let it grow out again longer, but now with it so hot, I like it really cut short... where I can put my "goo" on it, spike it up and go... no brushing, hardly no blow drying it, by the time I wash it, towel it off, and run my fingers through it, it's dry and I can put my "goo" in it and go.... no fuss no muss... I love it that way, and the way it is now, I am really better off doing it like that, especially if I am having more surgery in the next few months... I am really not sure what the hell I will do about my lower back... when it gives me so much hell, and I am in so much pain, I want to sit in the floor and scream, cry, and feel as if I am going insane, I want it "fixed"... but the idea of a lower brace, probably much more "time healing, and getting it well enough to do things," then I want to "back off" no pun intended, and say I will just put up with it... but I also know it won't get better over time... it will just get worse....

Cervical Neck surgery OVER BUT COMPLICATED, PAINFUL AND HARD COLLAR DRIVING ME NUTS!!!

I am home, thank goodness. Got home yesterday afternoon about 4:00PM... I thought I was staying another night... the surgery was COMPLICATED AND TOOK 3 HOURS!! Things were MUCH WORSE than even my surgeon thought. Was should have been a 1 or 2 level surgery, turned into a full 3 level surgery, plus talk about PAIN!!! MY entire chest, arms, head, neck, even my left ear HURT SO BADLY, they really could not give me enough meds to get it calmed down. 

My throat was so sore I could not even swallow a popcicle, so of course I stayed Thursday night. I found out yesterday morning we had waited WAY too LONG doing the surgery, thus the complications. My neck was over 21/2 INCHES SHORTER than it should have been, so he had to literally STRETCH MY CERVICAL SPINE ENOUGH to get those over 2 inches BACK AND put in the discs, and get the cage in, and then I had a BONE SPUR THE SIZE OF 2 INCHES, that he removed, and used it in the cage for my bone to hopefully regenerate itself. Needless to say I am miserable. This very HARD COLLAR, ALONG WITH THE STRETCHING, feels like someone put my head in a vise and literally PULLED MY HEAD AND NECK UP ALMOST 3 INCHES. Jason even said he could tell by looking how much straighter and longer my neck was yesterday. 

Anyway, I pray this all heals well, and never will I WAIT AGAIN, to have something like that done... of course my situation was crazy last year between Mom being so ill, then passing away so quickly, then between after the funeral and paperwork, my twisting both ankles, and then falling and fracturing my hip in December none of which was "my fault" for not having surgery much sooner... honestly the surgery should have been done December a year ago, but that is when my pain pump went out, and I had to have it replaced on the 29th of December 2015, thus about January 10th is when Mom then was in such a fast moving Dementia, I could not have surgery due to that, and the her passing away in June, I severely sprained both ankles the right one horribly worse, which my doctors feel contributed to me tripping and breaking my hip.... 

my lower back honestly has been getting worse now and really had been bad before the neck issues came up... so I feel I may face lower back surgery later in the year, especially if we see that things are worse, as I fear they maybe.... anyway, I am home, and now they have adjusted my pain meds, where I am not in so much pain, just MISERABLE FROM THIS DAMNED HARD ITCHING COLLAR!!!! I hope this does the trick, and now I get better as far as the cervical spine.... more later, I can't sit here for long and type at my desk, but I may be able to use my laptop soon on the sofa.... Hugs to all, Rhia