"Through my heart's work of writing, I share with you my complex journey a top the mountain, sliding down, crawling up, & living through the realms of Autoimmune Arthritic Illnesses. Taming "The Wolf" Thru each Day... One Step at a Time … Together We Are Learning to Survive. Please follow along, to New Beginnings - looking Thru the Window Pane of Pain in life where we shall find our journey leading us to - New Perspectives
Tuesday, July 25, 2023
Our Medical Spaces are "Diseased" by many Doctors, ""Big Pharma", the Government... & so much more
******I have not posted this yet...but it seems appropriate now.... THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED TO SAY!!!
AND IT IS NOT A POEM IT IS THE FLIPPIN' TRUTH!!!!********
Diseased… this entire damned mess...IS Diseased!!!
All too often these days…I see more “ill” people than healthy.
It’s not due to status, married young, old, divorced or wealthy.
It baffles me more each time my heart beats; those whom should take care of us…
They’ve turned their backs on thousands.. & how some act is a total disgust.
We are quickly becoming a “society” that has a great deal of distain on how this nation is ran.
Many of us are so through with the mess with doctor’s, medications, tests…we have as patients & caretakers we've taken care into our hands.
My thoughts are that we are being given so many different things from “Big Pharma”; that we know is definitely tied into our federal government "IF" I can say “our government” with a straight face.
The FDA and DEA are right there to make sure who lines their pockets and tries to win this race.
Our insurance, groceries, gas, and EVERYTHING is so expensive…and we continue to inundate our lands, waters, air with a “fiery end”…
We see it, hear it each & every day…weather patterns are insane. Viruses, more and more illnesses the OFTEN can’t be properly diagnosed…we are overwhelmed to the brim.
A great example is this “bone growth stimulator I’m wearing due to a collarbone fracture (also a shoulder blade and 2 ribs) a YEAR ago July 4th 2023. I noticed it is a “wave length” the same as my mic.
I can’t get my microphone near it when I’m having to wear it right.
If it’s causing that, what is it really doing to my bones and my body? Then when you include a cost of $5,000.00 plus. It was insane. My insurance pays 80%. Which left me at $800.00 out of pocket. When you are “through” with it; it can’t be used again. SO if you have another break, surgery and so forth..this thing is USELESS! Oddly enough, I found out the company online. I called customer service, explained my situation, they waved my portion.
What irked me that that the REP that brought it out here knew that. I told him and he said did you find out? I told flat old him I used “Google” and the company’s website.
He was shocked & after a moment, he said well I was going to mention that to you.. totally smelling like B/S …right???!!😠😡😠
Why would he be upset over whether I have to pay the co-pay or not? Ten to one HE gets a commission from that money he thought I would pay in.
Why else when he saw my situation NOT offer to see if I qualify for assistance? This is the TYPE OF SITUATION... That I feel is "medical gaslighting". Believe me MANY of us are being used by "gaslighting" and we are not even aware of just HOW WRONG it is!
It's happened to me at least a handful of times; without me truly understanding what the term "gaslighting" even meant. I had actually seen it used in a "good manner".
Once I went through the last time I was medically gaslighted, I knew what was happening with my doctors office was absolutely against the OATH and regulations doctors have to do or not do for patients.
Monday, July 24, 2023
Defeated...Am I???
Defeated… am I?
Trouble is I have so many reasons they don’t..
My perception of this horrid world..is not what I want.
As I’ve sat back….to heal & hang…we’ve became a mere number on a wall…
This world… this nation… is so much more than just a hot mess… we should all be appalled at how we as the PEOPLE
that feel we must beg and crawl.
It’s not just the “disease” of the physical realm.
Lunatics for the most part have taken over the helm.
I’m burned out, I am fed up, I shall NOT stand for all
that is in this ridiculous, insanity of a world.
I’ve waded, crawled, begged, dropped into a crying heap of nothingness…
NEVER again will anyone…have to live with what I’ve put up with …the distress.
There is way too much pain, too many illnesses, diseases, &
people that suffer daily ….needlessly.
Anyone who tries to tell me or YOU..Life is “easy peasy”…
They must be running in an entirely different time & space…for that’s crazy!
Yes… I write all too often about “love”. I’ve had to crawl out of the pits of hell, abuse, emotional. physical and moreover mental & emotional.
I’ve never said I was some “ranking” of an angel.
But, I do KNOW NO ONE on this planet will fair as an “angelic” figure.
Like I’ve heard…some people are trying to be hurtful.. & their mouths and mind state just pulls the trigger.
By this moment…I thought life would be better..different..well..full of love, laughter…and of course forever after..
What a damned dream fantasy world I was living in…for I feel as if I’m some kind of vermin..a bat…hanging off of a rafter.
Some make us feel ashamed, some bitch, moan, mumble under their breath and then break our hearts….
Have I been so damned naive’ to think SOMEONE REALLY loved ME for ME from the start?
I’m just someone that has been handed down… and I’ve never
really felt LOVE!
I see those that “think” they are happy..with greed, lies, just unfathomable ways that shall be judged someday up ABOVE!
Someone said to a friend,”how do you sleep?” because of a statement….and good gosh all I could think of was what a freaking creep!!
We are being demolished…waiting as those who come and want to break us down…
They better take me to the deepest oceans if they think in their horrid ways…make them think I shall ever in their own lies…drowned.
I’m no one with “clout”…I’m not famous, rich or…. have
one damned thing to brag about…
I’ve never & shall never be someone who thinks I’m better…within or without..
I can guarantee not one of us…are “born” without soul…
We may be born with struggles…but look how many become BOLD!
and from this..all I think is SOMEDAY….MAYBE SOMEDAY…
SOMEONE SHALL SURROUND ME WITH THEIR LOVE AND AFFECTION…. AND GIVE ME DIRECTION…..
AND THERE ARE TEARS ON MY PERSONAL CROSS TO BEAR..
because the ONE person in THIS LIFE…no matter close or far…is completely out of my reach..
I’m in complete defeat….
I FEEL TORTURED!!!!!!! & do NOT know why!
Rhiannon Steele
7/24/2023
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