FINALLY NEW ACTERMA APPROVED AND HERE FROM HUMANA! Good Gosh TOO many ISSUES around the House, Not enough sleep with the new puppy, trees, painter is an idiot, faucet leaks, and you name it, I've had heck...

Good gosh! By the time you read all of the information on this new medication, you may be too frightened to even try it! I've been giving myself injections with the other RA medications, some are in a "pen type form" which makes them a bit easier to use. I also give myself B-12 injections each month, with an "allergy medication" type syringe... and although I know they can cause all types of issues like TB. severe infections and so forth, this particular one has been "very rarely" known to cause MS (Multiple Sclerosis) which I don't believe the others were apt in very rare circumstances to cause MS. Anyway, this one is in a "pre-filled syringe" rather than the pen type. 

So that makes it a bit more difficult at first to get used to using. It f course has ONE HUGE set of instructions about "main side effects" how to give yourself the injections, and so forth, then there is a 2nd very LONG paper on ALL OF THE THINGS IT CAN CAUSE, SIDE EFFECTS, AND THE information that is more for the doctors - the medication guide, which of course is extremely detailed. Anyway, it will take me 2 days to just read through it all! I've already done research on it, from the website, but I am having heck again being able to sit for very long at the computer. Now that the one hip is injected and it feels somewhat better, I have the "lumbar thing" I think going on, because today I have pain down my legs, which is usually more about my lumbar sacral spine issues that just the hips. I can't win for losing LOL Plus I am just exhausted. I've got so many things I need to do, and I finally BOUGHT THE FLOWERS to take to the cemetery for Mom, Dad and my Grandparents vases.. plus I have some here at home I think I will put with them so I will have them a bit more full. 

Danged silk flowers are so expensive, and if you buy the 97 cent ones at Wally World or the 1.00 ones at Dollar Tree, then you need twice as many to fill the vases full enough! But, I am just too tired to go out and do them right now. The new puppy Bella has been waking me up at 3AM, most mornings, and then she gets me up, I get my coffee, sit down to watch a bit of Netflix and then SHE GOES BACK TO SLEEP dammit! LOL! But last night, she woke about 1AM, I took her to go to the bathroom, and she got a drink, and I put her back up with me, and she went right back to sleep! :) BUT THEN PEANUT, MY TWO YEAR OLD TERRIER, for some very ODD reason, woke me up at 3AM! He was standing pawing at me, and he wanted me to get up... I kept wondering and asking him if he heard something (but he was not barking) or if he was sick or what. So, then of course he wakes Bella up... Well I never figured out WHY or what he wanted! But of course I say to heck with it, get my coffee, and then BOTH OF THEM GO BACK TO SLEEP, ONE ON EACH SIDE OF ME!!!!! OMG! I was like danged I get one to "behave" and the other one acts out! The "only thing" I think he may have woke me up about, it that he has "seen" and basically "caught" a couple of those little baby "salamander's that I STILL CANNOT STAND! But, they get on their paper under the plastic, and it's slick so that can't get off of it... so I've noticed him looking all around the house sometimes, because I think he may see one, I know a couple of weeks ago, we both tried to get one and the little devil got up under the door and disappeared, before I could get him!!! I HATE THOSE THINGS!!! EEEWWW!!! they creep me out, but I will either swat them, or I have made spray from "hot pepper sauce" which nothing "hurts them" dammit, but it will make them run the heck off my front porch... so sometimes if I can't reach them to swat at them then I keep that spray out with me at night, and spray them. They then fall, LOL, and run off. Anyway, the little babies sometimes get in under the door from my laundry room to my kitchen, and that is where Peanut has pawed a couple, then he gets me, and knows I will finish them off and throw them out!!!! Then My crepe myrtle trees are just worrying me. 

They look so bad, especially the one out by the road. I've not been able to really trim it like I did the others. and it's so full of dead limbs'- I did take my pole saw, and cut a few limbs out of it, and then a couple out of my one by the driveway.... I found out they probably have aphids, for one, but trying to spray them even with regular insecticidal soap is almost impossible because they are so huge. I need a sprayer to go onto the water hose like my Dad used on his Pecan trees... but I threw mine away because it was worn out... and have not gotten another one... plus I CANNOT FIND MY CHANNEL LOCKS! I am so peeved, I have a pair, and then I have other plumbers wrenches but they are too huge. I do have a leak at the spout bottom and I probably need O-rings. But, I was going t take the "ring" loose and see for sure what parts I need, and I don't have the wrench I need to loosen that "decorative" piece over it... and now after reading, it may not even "screw" at all, but just "pry's" off. I've tried to find the right directions. I found the parts, but I can't find exactly mine to know if that piece that fits over it unscrews or if I just need t pry it up, I know the knobs well. I've replaced the cartridges in the hot and cold water faucets several times. 

But, this is the 1st time I've ever had it to leak at the bottom of the spout itself... so between that, and the "bar" the holds my hand held shower sprayer up in my shower that a piece broke off, I glued it back, and I knew it would not hold very long. I have a hand held shower sprayer that I got from TXU and it's heavier that the ones that came with the shower. Plus the tub is now 10 years old, and the "bar itself" is metal chrome, BUT the two pieces on the top and bottom that hold it up are "plastic"... so a piece that holds that screw into the shower wall, broke off inside that plastic piece... Since I have TWO hand held showers one on each side... I am going t try to "glue it again", take the piece off the other side, use it on my side, then put the glued one over on the side I don't use. I can then just eve eave the sprayer off of it completely, that way it won't have weight on it... but I've got to do something. I've left the screw itself in place, so I don't have water leaking behind the shower. 


Just a bit of ALL THINGS NUTS THIS PAST WEEK OR SO!

Talk about "one of those WEEKS!" I've been FIGHTING with the insurance for 3 WEEKS to get my new RA Medication, finally yesterday they called and it should arrive tomorrow, (hopefully, but talk about bad mess... I has to go have blood work done for an appt in two weeks, then went to the hospital to pick up my bone density scan results, from there I went to Waxahachie and sure enough I have bursitis in BOTH hips (as I tried to TELL MY OTHER ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON WHO WILL NOT GO ALONG WITH ANYTHING A PATIENT SAYS) OR SUGGESTS... so I got the left hip injected and go back next week for the right one... 

I got home and the "guy" that I hired to paint the house, and do the new boards around the bottom, had not shown up for days because he was going to "spray" part of it, and it was too windy. I didn't leave until NOON and he was NOT here when I left, but the doctor was over an hour late, so I didn't get home until after 3PM... mu little puppy was upset because I put her in the big kennel rather than lock them in the kitchen... it was cooler in the living room, and then her and Peanut don't pick on each other if I am gone (LOL) 

I think Bella the 9 week old picks on Peanut more that is 2 years old... then I drive up and here are ALL OF MY INDOOR HOUSE PLANTS, THAT ARE ON MY PORCH, SOME OF WHICH CANNOT JUST BE THROWN IN THE SUN, AND HE WAS THERE TO PAINT, BUT THROUGH ALL OF THEM OUT ON THE YARD IN THE SUN! Then I HAD TOLD HIM I WANTED ROTTEN BOARDS REPAIRED IN THE BACK, AND THERE ARE ROTTEN PLACES ON THE END BOARDS, ETC... NONE OF WHICH HE HAD FIXED, I also left a 3 PAGE MESSAGE ABOUT WHAT I EXPECTED, SAME STUFF WE TALKED ABOUT WHEN HE GAVE ME A QUOTE... and he was about half "pissed" at me... and HE WAS PAINTING, GOT OVER SPRAY ON MY WINDOWS, MY MAILBOX, ON MY FRONT LIGHTS ON THE PORCH AND HAD NOT FIXED ANY OF THE ROTTEN BOARDS. plus the paint he sprayed he cannot think he is not going to spray another coat! It looks like I took a "can of spray paint" and tried to paint my house with it! 

Anyway, I had put chili on in the crock pot before I left, I had to come in and calm the little pup down, and she peed all over me! LOL!! And calm the other one down, Peanut was all upset over the paint and the noise... he even painted over OLD CHRISTMAS LIGHTS, THAT HAD BEEN UP ON THE TOP WHERE WE NEVER GOT UP AND TOOK THEM DOWN, THEY WERE THERE WHEN WE BOUGHT THE HOUSE, and he KNEW they should come down, HE PAINTED WITH THEM UP, AND DIDN'T GET RID OF A COUPLE OF LIMBS FROM THE TREE AND HAD PAINT ALL OVER THOSE, paint on my ELECTRIC METER!!! 


Of course NOW, my "rod" in my "big honkin' shower" that holds my handheld shower device up" had a piece break off where it's screwed into the shower wall. Well, I think I found one, if it is the right length, and I believe it is, but just another damned thing to fix. I tried 'gluing" it, and put a "ring" in there to help hold it, but I figured with it being plastic as far as that piece it would not hold for long. So, after about a week, it broke off again. I have two. 

One on the other side I never use, but I still would have to find a way to get that bottom piece to at least hold up that bar. I could leave the hand held shower piece off of it, so no weight is on it... I think I can buy something to fit, just as I said something else to aggravate the crap out of you... and I am so worried about my Crepe Myrtle trees - I think they have either a type of Aphid on them, or what they call a black powdery mold... both can be "fixed" but I just cut another huge "dead" limb off one. The thing it they are about 30 feet at least tall... taller than my house, and have been that tall since I moved here in 2006. So, I know they are getting old. I read that these can last 50 years... but this house was built in 1950. 

I don't know when those trees were planted but they have been here a very long while. I can't stand the thought of losing even one of them. They are one reason I bought this house. They are just gorgeous... pink blooms all spring and summer, then in the fall the leaves turn all of the beautiful autumn colors, and the "bark" peels off of them at a certain time of the year... the 1st time it happened it scared the heck out of me, but it is one of their unique things, so then they have this "patina" almost kind of look... but again I have so many dead limbs, some small but some pretty large... and then just didn't bloom as they usually do... they have LOTS of buds on them, but they are just not opening like they usually do... part of it is the "weird" weather because of us having almost a "spring" like weather so early this year, they bloomed earlier, and now they should still just be filled with hot pink and they have loads of buds but not many are opening... then my Oleanders didn't bloom this year at all. I planted them like 3 years ago, and they have been fine. 

But, this year all I have is "greenery" but not one bloom all season... it 's just a pain in the butt... and of course my damned storage shed doors are screwed up, and I found a "kit" with the new "plastic" gliders etc I "think" will work, but heck again, trying to research, find it, wondering if it will work, and now my faucet in my kitchen, which I've repaired the hot and cold sides several times, and keep spares for them. But, the middle spout where the water comes out, has "appeared" as if it is getting wet around where it goes into the faucet.  

At first, I thought it was just from me, washing it, or getting water on it, but now it feels "loose" so I think it needs a part in it... again now I have to do the research on that faucet, and find out which part that is and then order it.... OMG! sometimes I just think selling and moving into an apartment would be easier..no maintenance, no lawns, no trees, no stuff to do the yard with, not having to deal with "pests" in and out of the house, and so on, no painting inside and out... YOU call THEY fix! LOL!!!

Chronically ill, chronic pain, and how LIFE can just be absolutely almost unbearable when you feel too bad to deal with it!

I don't care what anyone says, EVERYONE has those moments, days, weeks, and so forth... that things just DO NOT go RIGHT! Yet, when you are dealing with all too often Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain, some of life's bull, can be totally the reason some people just totally "lose it".... I know we wonder when someone "hurt's themselves", or they may just "go off the deep end" and rant and rave about something, or they "take off" for the day, or for a couple of days... or any number of things that we do to try and keep from going completely BONKERS, in life, in illness, and in pain... then add in the STRESS that complicates everything it seems, and it is a wonder that ALL of us are not in the "nut house"... thus this is one reason that I "rant and rave" in my blog and in my writing... some days you just have to PURGE all of that "ugly mess" out of your mind and heart. Everyone has their own ways... mine is to "write it" "say it" and then I am "free" what those "ties" of stress that bind...


AM SO BURNING MAD I could just about SCREAM to the MOON and Back!!! After THREE times of trying to get order for blood work over to my PCP from my Rheumatologist, I go this morning to have other blood work done for my PCP, and they tell me "they do not have the Rheumatologist's orders for the blood work!!!" SO, I go outside, call their office and gave the the fax number. They were going to fax it right then. I go in and for the 1st time he gets my blood the FIRST stick!!! BUT, they claim they still don't have the Rheumatologist orders. So, we get my Mom's done, and get my other finished and still they continue to tell me they didn't get it. So. NOW I've had to email my Rheumatologist again, and I KNOW they faxed that paperwork. My PCP and those girls in the office are idiots. It's probably been laying on someone's desk there now for a week!!!! So, NOW I have to make another trip, and no telling how my veins will act. One time they do great, the next they suck. I am supposed to go have the discography done Friday! So, I don't want all of my veins bruised too badly, then they have hell starting an IV!!! So, right now I am ready to blow more than one gasket. Then EARLY this morning, I get an email from "a person" that made me so mad I called them even though it was 2 HOURS earlier than me... so about 5 AM "they" get my call. After chewing "them" out via email, I was so HURT and felt so damned betrayed, after putting my heart, mind, body and soul, in a relationship for 13 years, and I GET BLAMED for it not "working"... I CAN'T fathom how someone who freaking did things that HURT ME, can so easily FORGET, ALL THEY DID OVER THE DAMNED YEARS... but I am THE ONE TO BLAME... OMG, I am so tired of being walked on and wiped on like a damned doormat... LIFE is NOT easy! PEOPLE disagree... that is PART OF A RELATIONSHIP... NOTHING goes COMPLETELY SMOOTHLY... not when illness, accidents, family... everything can't be PERFECT, but apparently, someone thinks YOU NEVER ARGUE, YOU NEVER HURT someone's feelings, that it is some FAIRY TALE!!! Lord why the hell I ever even tried I don't know... you would THINK I SHOULD HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON!!! But, I WILL NOT BE USED FOR A damned door mat anymore.


and continued....

PLUS I completely changed my entire bedroom around yesterday. I am "parying for it today" though... my lower back and hips are on fire they hurt so badly... then the blood work was "fasting", so Mom and I both went... so I had not eaten or had anything but water since last night... and then Mom has such a terrible hip problem, I finally got her to buy a cane today. She can't put any weight on that hip. I am calling my Orthopedic Surgeon who did my shoulder and neck and getting her an appointment. There is NOT ONE Ortho doctor in our town or any closer that takes our insurance anymore... so she has to go to Dallas anyway, she might as well see the best.... I fear if an injection does not work, she maybe facing hip surgery.... we may both be down with surgery by the same doctor ... if things don't get better... So, she wanted to go to Wally World and I took her. I needed some really very heavy plastic... I am trying to get the place fixed where my dogs are paper trained. My house is not as level anymore, it always moves around, that is TX soil for you. This house was built in 1950 and it STILL SETTLES, depending on the weather, and time of year. One day you can't open a door, the next it won't stay closed... it sucks... so I took her out there, and I knew her hip is bad by the way she was walking, and when she said she would buy a cane, I really knew it was bad.... so I am home, had to take my meds, give the dogs their meds, I still have not eaten, and am trying to get my "orders" for that damned blood work to me, so I can get them done. They won't pay for the Xeljanz (insurance) until I have the blood work done.. so between crappy weather, and a crappy life mess at the moment, and now hurting like hell, I am ready to just throw in the towel, wash cloth, kitchen sink, and the baby's bathtub with the water.... out the danged front door and say to hell with it all! LIFE SUCKS and PAIN SUCKS WORSE!!!!