Being Thankful - Thanksgiving Day, the holiday upon us, and finding true spirit when you least expect it....

First of all Happy Thanksgiving to all of my readers. I am so blessed and thankful for those of you that follow my blog. I know at times, I don't post enough, and since my life has been in a chaotic time in the past several months, I feel as if I have let those down who follow my posts, and writing.

As I had said on Facebook, I am thankful for some things in my life, even though loss and grief have been troubling me now for a bit. So, I have had to really dig deep into my heart, to find out where the truest of blessings lie, and I have done that.

I am so very thankful that my daughter Amanda, her husband Jimbo and my three Grandkids were able to come up and visit, even though it will be short. I got to see them last night for a couple of hours, and as I hugged my daughter's neck, the tears streamed down my face, and I did not want to let her go. It's been over 2 YEARS since I got to see any of them. They live down by Corpus Christi, which is about 8 hours away or so, and with the boys in school and activities, both of them work now, and my Granddaughter is a Senior this year, they stay very busy. So, it was the best thing I could receive is getting to see them after all this time. I also got to visit with my son, who lives closer, but he also stays busy with a job, and his own activities, so he does not get down as much either.

I am thankful that it "appears" the two thigh abscesses on each thigh, the left one seems to be healed and closed in (hopefully this time it stays that way), and the right one, although not well yet, got a good report from the Wound Care Specialist yesterday. He seemed to think it was beginning to heal, he had to debride it again, which hurts like heck, but it seems to not be infected anymore, and the "collagen" Prisma, is helping to heal it and keep it from getting infected again. So, I am thankful to know that those may finally heal, and be behind me very soon. From there of course, I face surgery, to take out this "motor stalled" pain pump, and put a new one in. I was hoping to have that done the end of next week, BUT, I see the wound care specialist next Thursday, so I am not sure my Pain doctor is going to want to do surgery on Friday. It may be until the following week, which sucks... I really wanted to get it over with BEFORE then, so I can be healed for Christmas. Which is not that huge of a deal, as long as I don't develop a "spinal headache" again. Last time, where the catheter attaches to my spine to put the medication into my spinal fluid, did not seal completely and a tiny hole, can cause a leak in the spinal fluid, thus a spinal headache from hell ensues. And they are horrible. I could not even lift my head from the sofa for 5 days. I drank enough caffeine for an army. I was drinking Caffeine drinks left and right, so it would seal itself over. Thank goodness it worked, and I did not have to go back for surgery, to have a "blood patch" put over the hole. Thank you "Star Bucks".... I got to have as many of those as I wanted for a couple of days!

I am thankful to have my Bub's with me. He and I have a small Thanksgiving feast just for us ready to heat up. I made a small portion of stuffing, of broccoli and rice casserole, of sweet potato casserole, & I had a couple of rolls I bought this week. Plus even though I love home made cranberry salad, we shall settle for it out of the can today. And I had made a strawberry cake with a bit of a twist, it has strawberry preserves in the middle of the layers, and then the frosting is whipped in with cool whip, so it is much lighter. And my daughter brought up some of her incredible pumpkin roll. So, I have a couple of slices of it also for dessert..... nothing fancy, and I am not making a huge bowl of anything... now days I can't eat a whole lot at a time, and Bub's does not need to LOL...

Plus, I "suddenly" had a new person appear in my life in the past couple of days. It was a friend request on Facebook, and I said yes... and wow, talk about someone out of the blue, "fitting" the friendship values, that I do. It was totally shocking, and I certainly was not looking nor expecting it. But, we seem to have a great deal in common, even born the same year... ;)

So, as this year starts to wind into the holidays, and then quickly fall into yet another New Year, I hope and pray things are BETTER, for 2016! It is more than time for some happiness and sunshine to reign down upon my shoulders, and others also....

Plus, as I said on Facebook, I intend on finishing my 3rd book in 2016, even if HELL freezes over....

As the days go by, and nothing else to do..( a line from one of Stevie Nicks songs) - so I have the new boots, the jeans are on their way, now if I can just get the courage up to go out, and get the heck out of this house... I am so sick and tired, of being either here, at Mom's or at the doctor's offices...

Thank goodness I am no longer having to "edit" my own conversations here, and posts. I can say what the heck I please, and if it offends someone, then I guess it does... they can get over it, or not... just saying...

Nothing huge here today, other than a new person, hopefully someone that shall turn into a friend as I said "suddenly appeared" out of the "Blue Clear Sky" as George Strait's songs goes...

Alas an email that made me "feel awesome" about myself for a change... honestly, I thought I had lost all of the "want to" of finding friends again... but that is not true... it is just taking awhile to move past the pain, grief and loss... loss of something I knew for 13 years of my life... and suddenly within a day, it all disappeared... almost as if it never existed... and I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHY??? And I have given up asking... I feel it is futile to "beat a dead horse" as the saying goes...

Living in the realms of "why" is no way to live... why did this person leave? why do I have to do chronically ill? why does everything fall on my shoulders?, why can't life just let up and be a bit easier?... why why, and more why's... and they can haunt you like a love that has all but gone and disappeared... and there is no real answer only questions of the heart remain... tis the story of life and love... you either "fall all in it" and hope that it is forever... or you spend your life totally alone and in misery....

Alas, I prefer NOT to live in misery.... not if I can help it.... So, I bid everyone an incredible holiday weekend, be safe, take care, and always look for that shining star to guide you through even the darkest of nights....