By the way, just got home from Mom's Kidney sonogram, and I FINALLY got a
call from my PAIN DOC'S office! My pain pump IS APPROVED, thank
goodness, AND they were going to do surgery this coming Friday, BUT due
of course to the abscesses, I have to wait, and get a "clearance" from
my PCP... and I have to call them to let them know I do not think these
antibiotics are working.... and then tell them they HAVE to GET ME WELL
ASAP so I can get this surgery over with! Wish me luck, and still "no word" on the other item yet....
and on a FURTHER DISTRESSING NOTE (to say the least) AFTER 20 MONTHS of
all we went through, a marriage destroyed, and several lives totally
destroyed in so many ways, we LOST! They "ruled" that "neither" our car,
NOR the truck driver were "at fault".... needless to say, yes, that
ends it, but it sure as hell does not help ALL of the other issues that
went along with it. I will say more, but right now I am so upset and
disbelief - so I shall tell more later...
I
have said from the very beginning, that "something smelled rotten"
about this entire thing.... for one these 2 "so-called" witnesses, I've
seen where the accident happened, and unless someone was staring at that
piece of I-45 all the time, they would
never see anything... AND I also feel that both the owner and driver
LIED on the stand, in their depositions, and more... I have no way to
prove it, and probably never will, but I also had a feeling when I was
there Friday, that the "jury" selection was really "biased" - over 70%
were the same "nationality" as the driver and owner, and everyone else
at that company for that matter.... I am still in shock to say the
least, along with of course Jim, my Mom, my daughter... and she KNOWS
all of the issues about a CDL License and rules and restrictions of
drivers etc... her husband works for an oil field company, and a couple
of their drivers have been in accidents, and she said NO WAY no HOW
would that business gotten away with this... lots of stuff just not
"right"... but as I said... nothing to do but try and move forward....
what a nightmare, over and over, living it every single day since March
26th 2014 and how much is destroyed, lives, a marriage, and a great deal
more than that. BUT, it is hard to get something "fair and just" IF
another side is playing dirty pool.... and now I can say what the heck I
please...
I've
felt this from almost the very first moment that we took this and
decided to file a suit against them. I "watched" each and every tiny
moment of how this company "acted" - how they from the 1st "denied" any
wrong doing, and yet admitted he was ON A
CELL PHONE, a car in front of him, that had time to get out of the way,
and everyone, including experts, and in fact their own "expert" in
re-construction of the accident admitted he should have SEEN our car, no
matter what, and being a truck driver, if he had his eyes and mind of
the road, he had more than plenty of time to stop! Even before Jim was
out of surgery in those first hours, I spoke with my insurance adjuster,
she she told me the two guys in the Tahoe, had been known for appearing
to get hit, thus they cause the accident, but claim otherwise and had
been PAID several times by different insurance companies that would
"settle" just to shut them up... In fact, the trauma doctor that I spoke
with while still in the lobby of the hotel there in Washington DC, when
I 1st learned of the accident said two things to me, before he even
began telling me about the extent of Jim's injuries, he said JIM WAS NOT
AT FAULT AT ALL, HE WAS NOT SPEEDING, and he was driving fine... that
an 18 wheel tractor trailer hit him from behind and basically "ran over"
our car! Of course due to the fact, I was told this on the phone by the
doctor, and my insurance agent had told me this about the guys in the
Tahoe, it was "not
admissible"
in court, because it would be considered "hear say".... in fact those
two tried to get money out of my insurance company, and the woman there
basically told them to take a flying leap... they had proof of them
causing this type of situation in the past... Also they basically tried
to say that my car, the Hyundai was not "road worthy" and that the hood
flew up which began the accident... I know for a FACT, MY CAR WAS
COMPLETELY ROAD WORTHY! The Monday morning just before Jim drove me to
the airport 70 miles away, and back home. The hood on my car, was
extremely difficult to even open. The hood was very heavy for a small
car, and I had made that statement on several occasions... and it had a
"double locking system"... and that was to keep it from being able to
"fly up"... you had to unlock the first one, then push further into it,
to "open" it, and same way closing... once I closed that hood, it was as
secure as any hood could be.... I will always remain stating that they
all "flat lied"... that they "paid off witnesses" - these people
standing around in their "yards" on the side of I-45 coming into Dallas,
and 2 of them "happened" to have witnessed this so called hood issue...
I am sorry but that just does NOT add up.... the odds of that are slim
to none... and I also feel the jury was "biased"... as I had said above,
the company was owned by the same nationality of people as the driver,
who basically could NOT even speak English... and way over HALF of the
jury was the same nationality... now if that is not biased, I don't know
what is... due to my own health issues, these abscesses on both thighs,
the pain pump being stalled...and so forth, unfortunately, I was not
there to even see the jury picked.. and I was only there briefly on
Friday to give my testimony, and then I left and came back home.... I
really was not supposed to go then, but my doctors told me if I went,
testified, and came home, then it would probably be okay, thus that is
what I did... I SAW the HOOD LATCH MYSELF at the impound the net
morning, when my son and I went to see the car, and take pictures.. and
that LATCH was still fine and in fact, they had pulled the wrinkle out
of it enough, they had it "latched" down, I guess the tow truck driver
did that... and I took pics of it.. but at the time, I did not realize
that I should have taken more photo's and much closer to the latch, yet
then I had no idea that anyone thought the hood flew up before the car
was hit.... or I would have made double sure, I had more information,
and then the Dallas Impound "sold" the car... and that was before we had
retained an attorney, thus the hood had basically been removed, and the
motor taken out before our attorney found it... fortunately it had not
been crushed yet, but still all of that being taken off, did not help,
they had removed all of the pieces of the latch on the hood, and the
parts on the car that held it, thus that proof was destroyed before we
had any photo's etc...anyway, I could sit here, and continue to go over
and over and over each and every tiny detail, from that moment I got the
dreaded
phone call, and tell each and every detail of the entire ordeal, but it
does me no good, I already have had to "relive" it so many times, and
it just causes me more hardship, more pain, more emotional overwhelm,
and will not allow me to try and "heal"... not that talking about it is a
bad thing, and that is the one thing for me that is cathartic... to be
able to "say" or "write" my feelings, thoughts and so forth.. that is
what makes me the writer I am... but all of that will not change the
outcome, and I can talk until I am blue in the face, and that will not
"fix" the damage this has caused to Jim, myself, and my family and
friends.... as I told my Mom several times, I feel "cursed", and this is
not the first time in my life I felt that way... it is like some dark
ominous cloud hangs over me, throughout my entire life, I have felt it
and almost seen it - and if anyone says, "Well, everything happens for a
reason" to me, I may smack them in the nose!!!! That is what we "say"
when we are at a loss for words... and I am sure I have said it too in
the past, but trying to "find the good" out of something so outrageously
bad... sorry but I just don't see it.... so where to begin - to try
and "pick up" the many pieces of a heart broken, a body well riddled by
illness and stress, and an emotional realm that as "strong" as everyone
claims I am, I am not sure at all, that I have any more "stamina" of
mind to sustain me anymore... and even trying to put one foot in front
of the other, and move forward... well, that remains to be seen.... my
worst concern at this moment is Jim.... he stood the one that had more
loss than anyone from this, and for him, this means no help with doctor
bills for the future care he needs, no money to sustain him in life and
he has lost much of the place in the brain to "hold" a thought process
so he can again design and develop websites and so on... the "coding" is
something that requires a vast amount of holding onto thoughts, that
may have to require coding on several different places and pages within a
site... and especially anything complicated as his clients have had,
online shopping carts, and the "behind the scenes" information that must
detail their sales, inventory and so forth. I "worked" with him on more
of the design part for about 4 years or so, and since then, so much has
completely changed... it would take me months, if ever for me to even
be up to speed again to even do design work... so I know for him this is
a devastation that goes far beyond what most even comprehend... again
each and every thought and prayer are needed in a continuing way... to
help sustain him, as well as myself, and my family.....
"Through my heart's work of writing, I share with you my complex journey a top the mountain, sliding down, crawling up, & living through the realms of Autoimmune Arthritic Illnesses. Taming "The Wolf" Thru each Day... One Step at a Time … Together We Are Learning to Survive. Please follow along, to New Beginnings - looking Thru the Window Pane of Pain in life where we shall find our journey leading us to - New Perspectives
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