Keeping My Fans Up to Date - A Conundrum Of Chronic Pain and Illness Issues...

I began this post a couple of days ago, more about my own personal illness and the reason I have not been here for my fans over the past several days. Yet, this morning, I begin to read the news, to find out one of our very good, and quite young country and western singers, Mindy McCready has passed away apparently from suicide. My first thought is WOW! I never realized she was having so many "personal" dilemma's in her life. I kept on reading to find out, her oldest son is living with his Grand Mother, and she had another son last year, whom it did not for sure say if his Grand Mother was caring for him also. But, being on the road as Mindy was, I would assume so. I also was not aware that the Father of her 2nd son also committed suicide not very long ago. Mindy must have fought issues with drugs, alcohol, and her own personal demons, which many of the "super stars" do. They get caught up in all of the drama, the clothes, the traveling, the living in a hotel room, eating from a bus, never really being with family much at all, and even though we think it would be an extremely wondrous, and glamorous lifestyle, many of them would tell you differently.
After all, in spite of their wonderful talents, they are "human". In many ways they are just everyday. usual people, that have bills, illness, deaths to deal with, family, children, homes, and even much more due to their fame. They never have a "life" of their "own". Often due to reporters, and news people in their faces constantly, they are never able to truly have the everyday life that many of them dream of. Don't get me wrong. I am sure for most of our "stars", that "dream style" of life IS what they choose, and it is what makes them the most content. It is a lifestyle, a job, a career, a unique challenge, whether you are an actor or actress, a writer, on screen, a producer, a singer, om Broadway, in Nashville, no matter what the venue, from Vegas to some little town in Texas, wherever your talents, your will to succeed, your scraping, climbing, having doors slammed in your face, whether you became rich and famous "very young" as a child star, or later in life after you feel you have paid many dues along the way, by hook, crook, luck, love, or however the wind blew you where you stand today, fame is your fortune. Fortune is success, and success is your life, whether you hurdled it all at once, or took baby steps along the way, it is a life style that some find truly amazing and satisfying, BUT we have also seen many BURN OUT, WE have LOST many incredibly talented men and women, and even young adults to the strings of drugs, of that "life in the fast lane", of the constant contact with drugs, with those who just want to get under your skin, your money, and take away what you have earned. thus here we are, another young Mother, a talented country singer, a beautiful woman, daughter, friend, with so many that loved her, and she is now no longer here. Within a breath's space, from life to death, she is gone. We have her wonderful songs, such as "Ten Thousand Angel's" to remember her by. That has been one of my favorite songs for a long time, yet when you really read her lyrics, especially to some of her latest music, she was reaching out through her music and asking for help it seems to me. As I read lyrics to "Scream" and "You'll Never Know", as much as we worshiped the beauty in those, she seemed to be filling in the blanks to her own private crossword puzzle of a broken heart. I hope at this moment her smile is as bright as ever, and she has crossed over that river to find "peace".

Even though we cannot "fit" into her shoes, we CAN fit into the realms of what goes along with the "loneliness" of how chronic illness makes us feel. Like those that are famous, we tend to feel isolated, alone, away from those we love and care about, and feel surrounded by a dark, black nothingness. We struggle with that black, dark pit often, or many of us do. We peer into that hole of nothing to see if we can find one iota of light shining through. If we need "light", all too often we need to "peer right into the looking glass of our own realm" and we see the brightness shining right through into our very souls.

With sadness and hopes for a bright future for her two sons, Mindy I pray you are now out of that hell that took you there,

Rhia